A note to thank you.

Dear mother,

There’s none other like you. And it’s really cool that for nine months, you carried me inside you. Like an innocent fool I came into the world and you taught me what school couldn’t. That respect is earned not demanded. Am always reminded of your humility and agility. And that to succeed I have to maintain my authenticity.

Mum, you’re beautiful. Your eyes sparkle like the sunray’s reflection on water. I am honoured to be your daughter. Your affection is priceless. You always love regardless. You are the provider of wise counsel. You are the divider of food in the house. You are the arbitrator when people disagree. You are as strong as a rock.

You are inspirational. When I am irrational, you always provide the voice of reason. Of all seasons, you work hard. Your laugh is infectious. Your heart is golden. Even in olden age, you still exude youthfulness. Your generosity exceeds the ordinary. Your simplicity is to reckon. You give extra attention. You are selfless.

When restless, you told me to practice patience. Thus haste or hate don’t exist in your dictionary. You have the power over the world. Despite your humble itinerary, wherever you go, you command attention without asking. The air around you always feels ample & safe. It’s like an angel surrounds you. Even though I didn’t get to know Dad well, i know that’s why he adored you. He still does. You’re cool peeps ma.

And for all these things & more, thank you.

Yes, You. Yup.

Your smile is irresistible. Your charm incapable of another. If you were a constable, I would break no rules. But because your just a brother, yours are made to be broken. I appreciate your presence, it’s like a token of your gravity. Your chastity is sacred. Your purity admirable. Your wit amiable. And I couldn’t stay away from you even if I wanted.

I am haunted by your graceful touch, always making me lurch towards your motion. While your silence is peaceful, your emotions run deep. I like that because sometimes, I see through your eyes. It’s a place free of lies. It’s where I want to hide when I am weak. It’s where I am understood, even when I can’t speak. And I would be in full swing, even when I didn’t realize it.

You’re a surprise as beautiful as the sunrise. So each day I rise to the occasion of seeing you, being with you and simply, feeling you. Your words inspire many. I aspire to be just like you, a leader. I don’t need a fortune reader to know that your hands were made to fit in mine. Because like a treasure hunt, you found me. And even if you didn’t know it, I would still be your ideal diamond. Yes, me. Yup.

War, Heart, Art.

It’s a wall built so strong and high around her existence, to protect her from you, and all the hurtful things you did. She keeps home, and away from you; because it’s a battle. When she loses she’s the wounded soldier who fell in the dirty puddle of love’s water. When she wins, she’s the little miss perfect, you say. Her rounds of ammunition were not enough because she wound up battered. The crowds of spectators didn’t matter. The more they cheered on, the more she continued to bleed. In bloody love. If you were graceful, you would surrender. For she is under duress, stress and anything you would think of, other than your so-called, love spell.

 

Stainless, still.

Her lips are stainless. So if you want her mark, don’t kiss her. You’re clueless. That’s because you read her like the back of a book– insufficient. If you take fright, she will take flight. If you take it lightly, she will fight. If you are serious, stain her heart with your signature. And like a lithium stain, she will stay. For its her nature to be stainless but not still.

Hey month,

Dear May,

I want to be a better person. To write letters to actual people and not months, like you. To stick to my policies like glue. To be true to my friends, family and myself. To be selfless and kind. To be a one-of-a-kind woman. Not to lie. To listen and learn. To teach what I know. To practice and grow. To love in slow motion. To share emotions as much as emoticons. To give second chances. To breed a heart of forgiveness, one that’s full of happiness. To bleed love, and need it. To leave behind bygones. To be blind to see good where there is dark–nothing. Halting everything, to let God reign. To refrain from haste. To taste life, the good and bad. To hush and not rush. To let go of fall and pain to celebrate gain. To let it rain. To let is shine. To feel past my third button and be real past the bosom, be deep. To let the flowers of my life blossom. To let go of those which died. To be brave and not hide from my fears. And because June, December and the rest are members of your family–to you all, this is my prayer.

5 reasons why soccer is like your woman.

Is he less of a man because he doesn’t dig football? Well, as opposed to popular and ignorant theory, the answer is no. A man shouldn’t only be judged by the kind of team he supports but also, the kind of stuff he’s made of. Ultimately, he’s fake if he’s the biggest football fan but still a douche bag.

In the world of sports however, the masculinity of a man has been overly associated with soccer. Take for example the manly record-breaking Usain Bolt. He’s tall, strong, rich and complete with a signature move—on and off the tracks. His articulation is tight, no such lines like ‘kung’arisha fiatu’. But you’ll still find that Messi—a man of extraordinary goals yet endowed with just an ordinary stature and the occasional messy demeanour of most footballers is held up in higher esteem internationally. Ca veux dire–a man’s love for football is blind. Only a woman can come close to taking [its] place and most times second is her best position.

Just like scores of women; I hate soccer. I am not too sure whether it’s because 90 minutes is too long for me to keep staring at non-shirtless men running haphazardly across a field in the name of trying to attain a goal or that I am in envy of how like a demon, the game possesses a man (Heck, I want to possess a man like that). It’s the moment when he hears or sees no evil i.e everything and anything that’s not related to football. Quick tip ladies; this is the best time to drop any pending bomb shells because he won’t hear you. And when he brings it up in the future, you’ll just claim to have already told him anyway. When you think about it critically, there actually isn’t a single definitive thing for women equivalent to what football is to men.

While at my friends (all boys) house, recently, the usual chitchats that encompass the ‘just chilling’ mode were unceremoniously cut as soon as a football match came on-screen. ‘Now shut up!’ I was directed. I couldn’t beat three men so I decided to join in. I could only see Drogba’s annoyingly glossy hair. Shouldn’t he also be endorsing Hairglo? So I resorted to reading my book which also proved difficult to follow; as after every six minutes or so, the boys kept cheering and shrieking at the game’s highlights. Even more disturbing was that the sounds they made resounded like those emitted while having sex. ‘Uhhhhh, ahhhh… Nooooooooo! YES, YES!’

Could it be that to a man, football is like a ‘good’ woman—irreplaceable, and it’s highs and lows almost similar to those of sex?

On one boring Friday afternoon in the office I decided to spice things up by ambushing the guys around me with a quick kinky Q&A. Out of fifteen, nine guys revealed to Black Roses that if they had to choose between the other, they would actually prefer to watch football over being with a woman, sexually or otherwise. That was a shocker! I would rather plough a farm (no pun intended) other than watch a football match. But then again I am just a woman who happens to love bits of farm life. Provided all underlying factors remain constant, these comparisons still rely on the fame and skill of the playing team and the X-Factor of the woman a man rolls with.

From the gentlemen, I collected these 5 fascinating similarities between football and women:

1.Best choice

Like panties, general football enthusiasts drop their support for teams depending on how they are faring on in the current season. Similarly bachelors, and well, George Clooney, have the vagabond freedom of rolling with various women depending on who best suits them and when. A die-hard Gor Mahia (or any other team) fan is like a married man/one in a relationship. He already settled with his best choice. This man is down for his woman whether she strips or trips. Same way win or lose, no real fan turns his back on his team.

2. Time (A minimum of 90 minutes)

You need to set time aside for football. The game usually extends past 100 minutes, so patience, a cozy seat, maybe a beer or two at hand and crossing fingers is always a great prerequisite. You already heard that if it’s not a quickie no woman wants a ‘one minute man’, during a date or in bed. Patience, a cozy environment, wine or something smooth will make good accompaniments. 90 minutes should be good enough but if you opt for extra time, dude why not?

3. Satisfaction

A bad match (your team of preference losing) leaves you with a bad taste and a foul mood. It’s the same when a date, meet up or sex goes bad. On the flip side, your team kicking ass and some good loving from the mamacita will leave you celebrating for a long time, if not feeling brand new!

4. Show off & bets

Men will always be boys. You don’t like how a friend keeps bragging about his winning team. So the two of you took it to the next level–daring bets. Money is cheap and lazy, now bets range from kissing the sole of your shoe to walking down Koinange street on a Friday night only dressed in boxer shorts. It’s the same case scenario when guys spot a fly honey. If she’s yours, you are proud so you brag about her. If she isn’t’ yours, then the chase and the bets start rolling.

5. Concentration.                                              

The replay of the pass, foul or goal doesn’t feel as electric from recycled tweets, print stories, word of mouth or even YouTube; to feel the magic of soccer, you must have seen it yourself, and in real-time. It’s the same way when it comes to stories and theories on women. Until you realize that it’s high time you focused on getting to know one, you’ll never really feel her magic.

Many women also watch soccer. While at my house, Wanjeri once jumped so high in celebration of a goal, she broke our chandelier. My sister then gave her a fine of washing our cat for a month. The cat ran off a few days later, even before the much-anticipated first wash. What am trying to say is; damn ungrateful cat! And that someone’s love for football can make chandeliers break, Twitter freeze and some people like me, even the more disinterested. But the fact remains that human beings will continue to have opposing preferences at their pleasure. The faster we all come to terms with this, the easier it will be for us all to co-habit respectfully and non- judgmentally, for football and women are the best at the feet of world’s offerings.

F_ck love! Introducing Kameron Corvet.

Contemporary RnB/soul fused in eclectic soft rock, best describes songs in Kameron Corvet’s new mixtape titled ‘F_ck Love’, released in February 2012. With a falsetto comparable to The Dream’s and some of that raw Frank Ocean lyricism and inexplicable genius, Kameron shows love the finger while sitting on its proverbial fence. The EP is a confession of rollercoaster love; from gooey heartbreak songs to egotistic flirtations and sexual show offs, it really is a hot whirlwind–begging the question, what’s love?

Must you fall to be in love? Must you lose yourself in love? Wait, must you love? That warm fuzzy feeling … is it love? ‘Fuck it, fuck love!’ You’ve probably said that once, twice or maybe never, but it’s highly likely that you’ve once had the secret dream to love or be loved, silently and peacefully.

2. Legends of the fall 03.32

Replay material. Great neosoul track. I loved how the guitars are laden by the hauntingly funky drums from The Gap Band’s, ‘Outstanding’ or if you remember better, Soul For Real’s ‘Every Little Thing I Do.’ He’s spotted a hot girl whose spotted a hot man, him. But she won’t fall into his arms because she’s heard of his bad reputation. And now she won’t pick up his call. I love this one because being a fine brother isn’t reason enough for a girl to be with a man.

3. Good Habits 04.10

This one a very beautiful song. The acoustic rock guitar in it makes me imagine Joss Stone or Alex Pelzer doing its cover. The story is about a man in desperate need for his estranged lover–a bad habit turned good, a fixture he can’t live without. ‘Tell me the secret to your love’ He sings. This one is a show of his splendid songwriting skills.

4. Sign Ur Name 04.08

Another replay material. Upbeat yet mellow, really love the guitars. Would you rather sign your name on the marriage certificate or across one’s heart? Oh the rhetoric. This is a song of a man distressed over the insecurity that his lady is cheating. He even sings in French (very sexy) that every other hour and minute, ‘Je pense a toi’. If Kameron marries me, I will sign his name, anywhere and everywhere, even across Nairobi city

5. Snap Out of It 03.27

This song is effortlessly soulful, and definitely one of my favourites. ‘Don’t you love the way I do you?’ The opening line with the undeniable Musiq Soulchild swag. It’s groovy sound and straight-up talk renders it a great RnB/quiet storm radio hit. He sings, ‘I can’t be the good guy and the bad guy at the same time, you’ve got to make up your mind.’ Relationships aren’t always a walk in the park, we all know that. One day it’s cold and another it’s hot. The wrong partner sometimes turns out to have been the right one and vice versa. Kameron’s one wish is for her to just, ‘Snap out of it’.

7. F_ck Love 05.05

The deep lyricism and acoustic lead guitar in this one can make you jizz! Eargasm doesn’t even start to describe this sound. For the EP title track, Kameron did a lot of justice to this song. ‘I can be honest, i don’t know where i am going. At this point I hardly know where I’ve been’.  You can feel his emotions of a conflicted love. An assertion that love can be evil, but a necessary one at that. I enjoyed the song’s verses melody better than the chorus and hook.

You won’t find a lot of Kameron Corvet’s info on Google, so for the record, I am highly rating this singer/songwriter and producer. Having gone by the stage name Jonz in his earlier career, he’s to date released two albums, Sayingthings and Korporate Rockstar. I think I like him better as Corvet. Well, despite love lost or meager lust, F_ck Love’s 7 songs will leave you with a lasting good feeling; for somewhere in this big bad world lies some good love, for you, and me too To listen/ download the free EP check  www.kameroncorvet.com

BONUS: The video to F_uck Love

A chat with the young-spirited & gifted Mambo Mbotela.

For decades, Leonard Mambo Mbotela has been hosting, “Je huu ni ungwana?”, Kenya’s most famous and longest running radio program relayed on KBC’s Radio Taifa. Among Kenyan personalities, Mambo is in a class of his own. He’s also a TV host, writer, newsreader, sports commentator and musician but only one thing stands out. “Radio paired with my voice is my God-given talent,” he says as soon as I signal the start of what was intended to be a minor interview, but turned out to be bigger than I thought.

Despite his busy schedule, Mambo excitedly gave me an instant “Yes!” when I called for a chance to interview him. I asked him to provide me with some of his old photos, but he couldn’t get hold of any. That’s when I said to him, “Nitakupiga basi na camera yangu.” His reply,“Jameni ukinipiga si utaniumiza!” That warm sense humour isn’t the only thing natural about this man. “Broadcasting runs in my blood”, says the pied piper whose distinct husky voice, wit and eloquence in Swahili, has made fans across the country follow and adore him for years.

It’s a hot Friday, around midday, an hour to a recording of his TV show at the Norfolk hotel. We are right across the road seated at KBC’s restaurant having cold fruit cocktails. He literally shook hands with everyone as we walked down the corridors leading to the restaurant. Undoubtedly a man of the people, his viewpoint on age clashes with the ubiquitous mass celebration of it being “just a number!”

“When you’re young at heart, age is simply nothing. So I don’t talk about my age, “he says with a sneaky gleam. Smartly clad in a lesso-print shirt and perfectly ironed black trousers, he looks good too. As I ask questions, he seems very keen. Indeed, all his answers are straight forward.

Road to Radio

Born in Mombasa’s old Frere town, Mambo studied in Buxton Primary and Kitui High School. After which he immediately started working as a trainee at the East African Standard newspaper. However, his prowess in news reading is self-taught. “In high school, I would cut newspaper clippings, compile news and read them out to my classmates,” he recalls. Among his mentors were veteran broadcasters Steven Kikumu and Job Isaac Mwanto (I am probably too young to have heard of such people, he tells me–true and shameful).

Fuelled by a dream to be the voice behind the mic, Mambo approached the late Simeone Ndesanjo, who was head of radio at KBC (then Voice of Kenya, (VOK)), for a chance to be employed. As Simeone advised Mambo to start off as an announcer, he also made an observation that would later come into full circle, “I can see you have the potential of making a great broadcaster.” That was 1964. The same year Mambo started working at VOK as a freelance reporter.

In a short span of time he gained many fans, prompting VOK to offer him a permanent post as a program assistant. “I was so excited by the promotion. I couldn’t believe it. I even left my job without giving a resignation! Eventually, VOK had to compensate The East African Standard by means of payment for stealing me like that”, says Mambo with a reminiscent flash of that fateful day.

I hadn’t seen him this fired up since the start of the interview.

He then began hosting interactive radio programs, “Salamu za vijana”, “Uhalifu haulipi chochote” and “Nini maoni yako”. Through the shows he highlighted various societal issues while giving listeners a chance to air their grievances as well as share experiences. This would later turn out to be the foundation of a long-lasting “polygamous” marriage between three entities– Mambo, his fans and radio.

No etiquette & embarrassment creates ‘Je huu ni ungwana?’

In 1966, a casual visit to the Panafric hotel turned awful when Mambo and his friends stayed too long without being attended to. One of his friends lost it and started yelling for a waiter. As Mambo narrates the story, he re-lives the experience by also yelling and hitting the table. The man sitting across us at the restaurant flashes across a ‘STFU’ look. “Did you see that reaction?” probes Mambo. “Nobody likes such embarrassing behavior and especially at a prestigious hotel like Panafric. My friend could have just asked politely if not practice patience,” he asks?

That experience marked the inaugural year of “Je huu ni ungwana” and also served as the show’s debut topic. In 2009, 43 years down the line and the show’s ever growing popularity led to a TV show being conceptualized from it—of course with Mambo as the host.

With now close to celebrating fifty years on the airwaves, Black Roses sought the show’s top three recurring cases of etiquette deficiency:

1. Table manners

If you love multi tasking, don’t be caught talking and chewing food at once. Mambo also says that, ignoring side-plates by dumping the remains of food and bones all over the table is an insult to a waiter/host.

2. Disregard for personal space

Mambo shuns men who use queuing at banks/public places as pretence for touching or rubbing against ladies derrières.

3. DTP

“Move bitch get out the way!” Ludacris and many others have fallen prey to disturbing the peace. Shouting haphazardly in public places is crude. “There could be six Marys on the street at any one point, so when you are yelling for Mary, you confuse the other five you’re not calling. If and when you see a friend, just run across to them or call their phones”, he says.

Mambo adds, “I had to teach myself humility because I am a celebrity and a public figure. Everywhere I go people want to shake my hand. I let everyone, especially kids, run to me. Little do people know that God blesses the humble.”

Here Mambo’s thought process seems interrupted.

“Something very important, did you know that I was caught right in the middle of Kenya’s attempted coup?”

This is getting even more interesting.

While Tabuley played, my life nearly came to a stop.

After the coup, law and order was restored but Leonard still had to appear before court to outline his supposed involvement with the masterminds of the rebellion. He was acquitted. He still insists, “I had no prior knowledge of a plan to overthrow the government.”

The year was 1982, the day, August 1^st. On returning home from seeing off his sister at the airport, Mambo heard gunshots at around 4.45 a.m.

He narrates the ordeal to Black Roses …

“At the time, I was head of Swahili/vernacular services at VOK. So, when I heard someone knock my bedroom window I thought it was a colleague who needed the station opened earlier than usual. On stepping out of the house I was met by rebels who asked me if I was ‘Mambo’. I obliged to everything they wanted.”

“They took me with them to VOK and we got there at 5 a.m. The station had been invaded by other rebels and some unruly students from the University of Nairobi. Amidst the chaos, the morning presenter had fled and left the studio unmanned. One of the rebels jotted a message on a piece of paper and then put a gun to my head asking me to read it out to Kenyans on National radio. It said, ‘From today, the government of Kenya has been overthrown. All prisoners are now free and all police officers are civilians…’ and it went on.”

“After that, followed more disorder that saw the rebels leave me in the studio alone. I decided to run as I felt a sinking feeling in my gut. But not before putting Tabuley’s album on replay, ‘Baby love me’ was the track playing when I fled to a different studio, where I hid under a table.”

“After several hours of praying, I leapt out from underneath the table. Walking along the corridors I had to jump over corpses. The Kenya Armed Forces led by General Mahmoud Mohammed, then deputy commander, had come to the rescue. My first instinct was to get back to the studio and on my way there I encountered an army officer who had a gun pointed at me.”

“He was nearly pulling the trigger, so I immediately raised my hands and shouted, ‘Don’t shoot, I am Mambo Mbotela!’ In shock, the officer quickly put down the gun. ‘I have never seen you in person Mambo. I would have killed my beloved radio personality without knowing. Please forgive me,’ he said.”

“Scared stiff and conflicted, I went back to the mic to revert my previous statement that the government had been overthrown. For Kenyans to believe me, I first had to reassure them that I was the same old Mambo. I am glad they heard my message and more so, trusted me. I stayed at VOK for three days, running the radio station solo. The GSU guards at KBC today were deployed following that incident.”

“The man who had put a gun to my head (to read the coup statement) was rebel leader Hezekiah Ochuka. He was later hanged for treason. I didn’t think I would survive through that day, radio saved my life.”

Contemporary Radio & Longevity

With a fresh and clean luster blind to present-day radio, “Jee huu ni ungwana’s” prolonged existence is one to reckon with. Its driving forces have been Mambo’s research and the bulk of feedback from listeners and viewers. “Modern-day radio is dominated by selfish individuals who only care for fame and money. This has made up personalities disinterested in making the society better,” he says.

“However, Caroline Mutoko is tough, outspoken and cares for edutainment. I like her a lot,” says Mambo who then asks, “How can a DJ from the disco be a radio presenter?”

 His advice on the way forward for contemporary radio is simply, training. Something he says he’s willing to offer to interested persons. “Contentment and arrogance are the main ingredients to cooking immature careers,” he says. So, what’s the secret to longevity? “Be humble and prolific. If you have a show or job, don’t be satisfied there. Start another one.”

Freedom & Heroism

Mambo’s outstanding contribution to the Kenyan broadcasting industry has impacted many lives. “Among my most memorable moments was meeting a fan who changed from being a batterer after he heard me on radio shaming men who beat their wives,” he says.

1984-1990 saw Mambo join the Presidential Press Service under Former President Moi’s regime, a tenure he says gave him the chance to practice journalism extensively in Kenya and the world over.

Among countless accolades, he’s been granted the 1987 Head of State commendation (HSC) and in 1992, the Order of Grand Warrior of Kenya (OGW).

“During Kenyatta and Moi’s era, journalists had no freedom of expression. You must have heard of the torture chambers? You could never draw caricatures of the president like they do now. In terms of variety, for a long time Kenyans had no other choice apart from VOK. I am very happy with the new crop of media institutions and the current press freedom,” says Mambo.

In 2009, Mambo was among a handful of others named ‘Heroes’ by the Kenyan government. However, it is the same system that has left him feeling unappreciated because to him, just naming heroes is not enough.

“The government hasn’t honored me and many others like it should. We need land and jobs as most of us have the required expertise anyway. Joe Kadenge and James Siang’a are veteran footballers who made Kenyan football reach unimaginable heights yet they are now living in poverty. It must be greed on the government’s part. Otherwise, what’s the need of a Dedan Kimathi statue when his family is languishing in poverty?” he poses.

Road after Radio.

Mambo is married and blessed with three children, Jimmy, Aida and George Mbotela. “My kids are all grown up so I have more time and space to concentrate on my jobs,” he says. All work and no play makes Mambo a dull boy. Oh boy! I meant, man. Once every weekend, backed by a live band, he sings Kenyan oldies, better known as ‘Zilizopendwa’ at Vibro Club in Nairobi West area. “My lifestyle is not as tedious as it seems. I’ve been doing this a long time, so every part of it, is me,” he says.

Retirement is unlikely for such a young-spirited and gifted man. In fact, he’s currently planning to start a new show and authoring a new book, both on championing Kiswahili language. His inspiration for both ventures came from the modern disregard for grammatically correct Swahili. “Sheng’ is all over radio!” he exclaims.

It’s enthralling to hear him say that he’s been watching Grapevine (an entertainment show I host), without me asking. I am yet to coerce him into liking and reading my stuff. “You’re good. Soar higher but just don’t compromise yourself for anything, not even favors,” he advices me.

It was an honor to have a candid chat with the icon. I am thankful for that, and my long-finished-cocktail which he paid for. “I would want to start an institute of broadcast training and in my hometown Mombasa even a radio station, Inshallah. When I am gone, I want that to be my legacy,” says Mambo.

Mambo’s self authored book, “Je huu ni ungwana” is available in leading book stores. The radio/ TV show airs Saturdays at 12.45 pm and Wednesdays at 6.30pm respectively.

Some room for her please.

He doesn’t love me back, so why do I still love him? He turns his back on me; when I try to do the same to him, it kills me. With wickedness he smiles at me but I still lie next to him in steadfastness. It’s almost like he loves to see me suffer. Close to insanity yet distant from it, I am a hustler for his love. He is undeniably a cheating man. He’s meeting me and on his brown shirt, is pink lipstick splashed all over. It’s sick how he’s too blind to see that I am the better lover. For when I kiss him, I am not bitter but I do it in kind never missing his lips or anywhere else he asks me to. And it’s never on his shirt.

He doesn’t want me back, so why do I return to him? He had prior warned that if I wanted to leave, I should take the dog with me. Little does he know that I am in dire need for him, my only dog and sire. So after dumping cold turkey and Rex, brittle and frail– I returned home. He was alone and seemingly happy. I was cold and lonely but he only selfishly asked about the dog, nothing about me. As he rolled up on the right side of the bed, joining him I enrolled back into the ongoing war inside my heart. It hurt, so cried a fresh. It actually felt nice. I am used to tears.  They wash away my fears, but never his lies and my blind ties to him. They said that in the greatest loss there still lies some gain. But I, have nothing if he can’t feel my pain.

He doesn’t call me back, so why do I even write him letters and poems? He will never reply. He will always be the player who lost. In the game where he tossed my heart up high and then kicked it down the gutter. We are like clutter, unnecessary. It’s still a mystery that we are still together, or so it seems. This isn’t like chemistry, it’s like nothing at all. In fact it’s nothing. I now realize that we are nothing. He wakes up teary-eyed and says he had a dream. In it he heard a voice asking him to make me some room. For sleep, peace or comfort, he didn’t quite get that part. And he is not making any effort to. I slept well and I feel at peace. In my dream I also heard a voice that told me to leave, and never look back.

Love & Shoes

Sometimes we are like shoes, downright dirty. Our fights stink and are washed out. You are right and I am always wrong. When I am out like a cigarette, you miss me. We break up then make up. But it’s all a charade, because like shoes we are worn out but still going strong. So we stay up all night long, playing pillows and eating marshmallows. Good times. I would walk for miles in search, but there’s no need. No one else makes me smile like you do.

Sometimes we are like shoes, high. Our satisfaction dangerously leaves us falling, in love. Catching me is your forte and it’s a fact that a fraction of me, is always in control of the situation. We have no limit to how far we can walk, because like shoes we were made to trek, though this love. So we play tricks throughout the relationship. Oh the thrills. You are the anchor to my ship.

Sometimes we are like shoes, inseparable and entangled. Like a shoelace, you embrace me tight, and leave me restless for more, of you. You are a neat man, so I tuck my arms around your sweater. ‘Later!’, we tell them. We are the envy of many. They want to buy us, into their thoughts. But they can’t afford us for our levy is too high and mysterious. Like shoes we clean up very nicely, and then look brand new. Your niceties are like dew, ever fresh. Oh fellow shoe i wrote this verse for you, because you are the hues to my canvas.

John, the Con

As the clock strikes twelve o’clock, the crows and I glance at the calendar. It strikes me that I am here and he is yonder! It’s the 12th of September 2012, now am uber-keen, I remember … The day he proposed, nature later then saw me and Leonard married, you know with no baggage … Instead the future opposed, am now divorced, with no voice. He was a leopard! I made him exclusive, but he couldn’t ditch his player life and he made that conclusive without a hitch.

Thoughts of John, my long gone high school sweetheart still consume me. Years gone, my heart still old skul someone, please exhume me! Normally, I wish to bury the regret I carry, I wish to bring to life a debate in the jury to contest that 3 year-long marriage anomaly so I can set free … I should have stuck with John, he was a con yes, but stuck on me, a super dude he was, not like blue tuck but like super glue.

He would write me love letters, poems even better. It took me this long to realize that I was that wrong, but then I left him, that long ago. To summarize, I have no more regrets, so I took the test, I went to Old Trafford road, I could afford to strut my prada that cold October whilst having been under the radar for the last 10 October’s! House no. 74. Quick mathematics 7- 4 is the 3 years … Lost in semantics …

Nway I knock and a woman opens the door, she looks nice and feisty. I ask for John and she says, “Oh, my husband is out with the kids … I fell to the floor … HE GOT MARRIED!?  I quickly get up, fix my dress, press. stop. rewind. erase. press. play. Say to myself, it’s all in my head … They said that still waters run deep, now I know even deep waters run dry …

 

2009′

25 names & what they say about you PART 1

Reader discretion is advised. This article is written not to attack any individuals am just telling it like i see it. Your name determines your character just like characters determine pet names. Here are my samples, any corrections or sentiments are welcomed …

1. Jackie.

She is a friend to everyone. Everyone loves her. She is that lucky girl, that’s just how she  rolls.

2. Michael.

Always fly as hell and smoother than a phone operator. The good thing about Michael is that his looks don’t override the gentleman in him. However, Mike is a player. His looks will always override his manners, so beware there is a difference.

3. Rosey/Rosie.

She is exquisite. Named derived from rosemary leaves, an awesome spice that smells sweet and used as a cooking herb. Rose flowers again, awesome flowers. She is an attention whore leaving her to be most often than not the talk around town. Somehow she occasionally she gets in trouble with her mum.

4. Joe.

From ladies to paraphernalia, Joseph is a perfectionist. Name derived from Jesus’ earth-dad who was a carpenter. P.s all carpenters are near perfectionists otherwise why do they randa stuff? Joe likes his women just how he dreams of them, nothing more or less. He is however a player. He is very good at praising the females but at the end of the day, all he wanted was some … Once he starts on pursuing a girl, Joe never gives up!

5. Emma.

She is a very principled girl, not the type of girl you find out on all the weekends but the type of girl you want to marry or at least take home to your mother. She is a neat freak, it’s no wonder Home science was her favourite subject in primary school.

6. Chris/Jack

These are two persons with similar characteristics. He is very funny and interesting but here’s the catch, he is a hunter! He will pursue his prey, get her then nail her and then break her heart. He finds pleasure in this, in fact his motto says, ” You have to break a heart to get noticed.”  Too bad he never gets to give his heart time to ever try to love.  If given a second chance to life, he would be Joseph.

7. Eva.

She is more often than not shorty- height wise. She is also a diva with an eternal graceful charm. Given a dramatic situation, she can be one helluva conniving bitch. Oh did i mention? She’s smoking hot too!

8. James/Jamo/Deno.

James and Dennis can either be the perfect gentleman or the complete opposite. He loves the extreme side of life, be it sex or sporting adventures. Jaymo is a thug! He rolls with all the honeys. James got that ngeli ya Kiswahili hookup. Despite his flaws his communication skills are perfect. He will just convince your bride to give him a BJ at your wedding reception!

9. Samantha/Summer.

pretty has to be her middle name. She is so adorable and everyone wants to be her friend. Perception stipulates that she is the party animal but deep down she’s in sync with her inner self.

10. Victor.

He is intelligent, suave, and a schemer. He is into weird stuff as a means of escapism. From what? I don’t know. He keeps a lot of things very private. When you get to learn who Vic really is, you will understand that he never compromises what he holds dear, NEVER!

11. Joyce/Joy.

Just like her name’s prefix suggests she is a joyful girl. Always smiling and happy. She is also a lucky girl but not as lucky as the Jackies. However, her happy image can limit her from opening up when she is sad. This personality also makes her do evil things secretly because anyway no one would ever suspect her.

12. Albert.

He is either fat or in perfect shape! He is the genius who uses silence as his weapon but when in the moods he can get sooooo loud and loose. He likes to keep when he finds what he is looking for. This is ambiguous it could be food, money, a woman name it.

13. Shirleen.

Just like Rosey she is a gem, rare to find but special in her own way. She got a very big and adorable personality, she the best friend forever type of girl. However, she is very insecure and if she doesn’t control herself she could end up schizophrenic.

14. Robert/Robe.

He is a sex addict. Quite persuasive when he wants a girl. He doesn’t deter as his vibe is always fresh through the years. He is always seen exchanging niceties with lovely ladies. You can call him a socialite whore as he has made acquaintances with every person, be it male or female worth his time and scheme.

15. Vionne/Yvonne.

They insist that they don’t share a name whatsoever and if you call one the others name she gets so furious! She is a diva in her own territory. She is very passionate about her interests and relationships. She is a free spirit who loves music and dancing!

16. Nick.

He is rare too. Loves women, straight up! He is however an endless puzzle that you have to keep solving everyday if he’s going be your friend or lover. He is full of energy and will not rest at anything or anyone especially when he got his eyes on something or someone for that matter. He likes work done good. He is an extrovert but deep down he is in touch with his feelings so to speak. He cherishes females and wants to eventually do right, question is will he ever?

17. Melissa.

She is disguised as the sweet girl next door but she is just another typical headache. One of those drama queens who will act up for no reason. She doesn’t just talk but calculates when to talk. So she is not a snob but a schemer! She is a spoilt brat, always used to getting whatever she wants. Be careful not to fall into Mellisa’s trap as she is good at enslaving guys. However, there are isolated cases of a sincere and nice Mellissa.

18. Sly.

As her name or his name suggests is a sly. They will work for whatever they want till they gets it, not because they really wanted it but most times just to prove a point; that they could get it. They love to compete, bet and gamble. Sly is however a very generous person, they are also good listeners. If this lot doesnt revolutionize they might end up being Crises from Chris

19. Shiro & Shiko.

I put them together because they are side kicks. Always wanting to be seen together, always aiming at competing with each other and the rest of the girls too. They are however, beautiful and if tamed can be very useful individuals as they are fast to learn and apply. Most often than not, they end up in bitch slapping dramas if not  something of the sort for some strange reason. This is the order of their lives, as they are your typical dare devils!

20. Anto/ Tony.

He is the talk on every girl’s mouth. Whether it’s because his name is popular or because his personality is; is debatable. He aspires to be James, he cleans up very nicely but sometimes fails at vibing the honeys so he will just go ahead and nail as many as possible because hey, he is popular! Every girl wants a piece of him.

21. Judy.

She is a very intelligent and interesting girl. She is full of life and expectations. She is not easily lead a stray. She however thrives to maintain her image. Given a chance she’d want to be a Shiro for one day! She is a good friend as she listens and gives good advice.

22. Dan/marcus/Mark/Nathan/ Justin

They have very similar personalities and traits, it’s frightening! First and foremost, they are charming and most times keep their mouths shut. They are extremely talented in arts, we are talking talent and the gift of appreciation. They could take forever to express their emotions, well … at least verbally. They would take a life time to admit to any woman that they had a crush or were in love. This reservation of feelings when accumulated makes them culminate to become individuals who find pleasure in others misery for craving to have them. Did i make any sense?

23. Esther.

Just like the one in the bible, she is a strong woman who believes in prayer and meditation. She will persevere through all her problems and eventually have a testimony to make. She falls deeply in love with just one man. This could be a dangerous trait as she doesnt let go off easily. She is a keeper once you find her. That is about it with her.

24. Andrew.

Loves to shower gifts and most times he is well off. Andrew’s flaw is that he cherishes gifts too much sometimes he forgets to be a lover. At the end of the day, the relationship breaks down because of insufficient communication! He is however, the guy you should cling on to as he is ambitious and will be rich, well if he aint’ already because he works his ass off to earn his cash. Andrew runs out of vibe at some point and becomes so plain boring, good thing his money complements him! Or lets just say that his money will find you happiness. Like we all love two slices of bread so does he love women

25. George.

He is ambitious and a generally focused fellow. He works hard to earn his paper. Georgy also has one helluva sense of humour! You will always want be close to him just to share the fun. However, he is fears emotions. He is afraid of commitments, always wants to be free like a bird. When George finally settles down, he is a great family man but always puts his job first! In bed, he is the sporty type even though deep down he has that malicious need to break a heart. George’s last trait is his innovative mind as he always comes up with innovative ideas!

Part 2 coming soon …

BED

That bed was more than just a bed to her. In her head it was more than just giving head … but more like just a band. You know where songs & games were played, not anyhow with rubber band but with rubber. Most nights, it was touchdown as he touched her down … down south & she played it down. In her head the bed was a haven, where memories were made. A heaven where babies were made, just no one knew one day it would all cascade …

All the still years and she dint even know whether she loved him. After all the tears and she still dint even know whether she loathed him. Well, his T-shirt is what she loved. Long, short or tight always fit well for the night and made her feel secure. She loved him in Shirts and shorts too, he dint know love well but craved her in two things, short skirts and at night in his T-shirt. It made him feel brave and pure ….

What she hated was that shit he constantly repeated, cheating on her. What she debated was those sheets she consistently changed. The downside, burn them up or let the feelings burn inside? See like Chingy, every time she tried to leave something kept holding her back and he said she was clingy. See like Ashanti, every time she got the strength to leave the house, he always told her that she was his need. Felt like, home turned into a shanty.

So it’s hard to let go of the years, so she’s mad she let the tears flow. So it’s harder to pack her bags and leave, so he heard her cry in the back of the room, saw her eye bags & he fears … that he had her in that same room but she gonna leave using that sane route. She decides, that one day is no day but today to be precise. She can’t leave because that cunt will take over her bed! Instead she will just make him leave, the homestead will & must breathe …

She regrets that the marriage was speedy, she bets they were needy. Till death do us part, now she would die to be apart. It will be long processing a divorce, but it’s a process she devotes all her longing. So he is moving out, she is moving on. You see, like Usher it’s like moving mountains. She is certain she will usher the new beginning. The love-making was great not demeaning but there lies a greater meaning after such heart breaking! You see, one more speedy thing she doesn’t wanna be dependent on his shit, his bed, sheets and nets!! no more. Miss independent got it on speed dial, she’s calling Barnett’s  …

THIRTY SEVEN

That’s the special number of the one who leaves me limber, ever ready, he is like the batteries to my arteries, leaving me never needy but bleeding in love and then quickly healing
He is a thief who steals not at night but at daylight, never afraid of the sun but ever in favour of a son … I shall bear him ONE, one day. He doesn’t steal millions of shillings; instead he is the chameleon of my heart’s feelings. Disguises himself as a rogue, a thug but deep down he realizes that love is vogue, even he needs a hug.

The crime he commits is one that is prime; I gotta make an arrangement for the arraignment. It’s a case I gotta let the jury decide on; in any case he still slides on. As the main witness, I intend to testify under no duress but witless, it’s how silly he leaves me wanting, yearning, waiting, therein expecting…

Would have asked why I can’t get right without him in my head, let alone in my bed. Anyway though my bed is king in size, he is the king in my eyes lest this boat capsizes. Hate this submissive self I become if I miss him. OK, am nervous … the case is hideous; will he be found guilty of the heinous? (Invading my heart) As tomorrow approaches, I tweeze my eyebrows, squeeze my moisturizer figured I might as well brace this face well, seeing inside my heart was a heist, well paced trust that dude!

24 hours later, I walk into the court room my couture so extraordinaire, trust my couturier. The ambiance so chilly, our alliance now so breezy … As soon as I saw my thug behind that dock, our eyes locked, his cuffs locked and my heart broke. I walked straight up to the judge, hoped to myself he wouldn’t budge then I plead my insanity & withdrew the case with clarity. What’s my life without him in it?

He is set free, am in need for that torture in my heart.

BED part 2

The new bed finally was delivered, its size she hadn’t considered, well it did not matter to her, hell as long as it wouldn’t hurt her, like he did, that idiot … The house has been peaceful, the bed less sinful, her life now taking swing in full   She’s no longer that fool, so long her pool, she moved houses too, it wasn’t gonna haunt her, and anyway she had to flaunt her guts, just no one knows how deep down it hurts. See, down her heart, it still flows deep: the love she had for him …

Truth be said, she’s lonely, sometimes only wishing she choose truce instead, well so much for the good times. Now reality checks, she’s alone, her chastity breaks, you can’t blame her, the nights have since been so cold, so lame, her former knight now so gone, her loner plights now a trait!

He depreciated from her world, to her Ex- husband, word is she appreciated the sex and his hand, always had a way of un-hooking that bra, touching the right places, during “sex-capades”, caressing, undressing, kissing, sexing, adoring her in all ways! She passionately remembers how she rode on him, like a stallion, in his book she is a star …

A real bad habit is how she picked him up, an acrobatic is how he flipped her up, the other man in her new bed, never knew, never will. To her, he doesn’t even come close, just another brother she’s seen to use, abuse, disregard and discard. Since the divorce, she’s been in remorse! Signing those papers wasn’t easy, but hard, even tricky but now done … She’s now residing where they like to call, “ the greener pastures” what no one knows is that, she’s now deciding who to call, inner monsters?

It’s 1^st March, exactly three months after the separation, he marched on so fast, now free to misbehave, no more deportation. Not from his country but from her territory, he’s seen need to emancipate as well, more like a clean start, you know like purgatory. She knows that she’s supposed to have moved on but suppose she can’t get her groove on with anyone else? Even worse, she just found out that she is PREGNANT.

 

11 names and what they say about you PART 2

Due to public demand, we had to have a part 2 right? RIGHT.

1. .Nelson.

He is a fighter, believes in his life policies and lives by them. He is hood and he blends perfectly with it. He dresses hood too, he always got the hoody thing going on and sometimes even baggy pants. When it comes to women, he is not afraid to win any woman’s heart, no matter the differences. Nelson doesn’t choose, he could fall in love with any woman and he would never be ashamed to claim her heart.

2.Maureen.

She is a dime and she’s fine too. She knows what she wants, her goals are well drafted and she works towards achieving them day and night. Maureen is an achiever. She is however a tough friend to seduce and to please, she just doesn’t roll with anyone other than who she digs. She rarely has enemies but she will destroy anyone who tries to tamper with what she loves.

3. Benard.

Just like Mercedes-Benz, he is smooth. He has a free spirit and loves to indulge in his hobbies to the max, whatever they may be! He is passionate about his love and dreams, he is more or less like Nick (refer to the earlier part one of this post here http://anyiko.wordpress.com/2010/01/04/looks-may-be-deceiving-but-names-dontpart-1/ ) He likes to fool around with the ladies because well, they like him too but eventually Bena wants to do right! He is seen as an extrovert but deep down he is in sync with his emotions just like Nick. However, Benz has a faint heart that keeps him going though! So girls don’t phunk with his heart.

4. Mitchelle.

First  and foremost, she got style! She got her own way of doing almost everything, as you all roll with the crowds she rolls with her style! She is rare just like Shirleen (refer to part 1). She is an ant and will work tirelessly even after achieving her goal. Calling her a go-getter would be an understatement. She got one helluva self-esteem and drive that for any guy to hit on her, he has to first up his game! Once you have her, be sure she’s a keeper she isn’t into dramas like the Shikos n Shiros (refer to part 1) Given a chance to a second life, she wouldn’t want to be anyone else!

5. Will.

Just as his name suggests he (WILL) always make promises most times he can’t keep! He consequently avoids by all means ever having to be the third wheel; he will always make multiple plans and not be able to attend to them all. Will is charming, he is the smaller version of Chris. If not careful he could turn out to be a heartbreaker. Will however has confidence like no other! No one brings him down by any means. He loves to fool around and stuff but when the time comes he eventually settles down and lets maturity lead the way.

6. Brenda.

She’s a mummy’s girl. She is also her girlfriend’s girlfriend! She is into the girl power ish! Will always be ready to do anything for her mum or her girls! Brenda likes her style secret, doesn’t like to see others cramping her style which BTW is reserved and at the same time casual smart. If insulted by a dude, she wouldn’t hesitate to hit him with her handbag!

7. Delvin/Melvin.

They are gems. How many Delvins and Melvins do you know of? They are among the last surviving traits of Joe as they love to praise their women but given the opportunity to show their worth they rarely raise to the occasion. Ooopsy! He is however amazingly talented at what he’s good at. When you meet a Melvin or a Delvin there will be something about them that you will make you forever try to figure them out. When you do, you will know that they are great passive friends to have. They were also blessed with a great sense of style and humour too!

8.Laureen/ Lauryn

She has the perfect name and she is the perfect person, metaphorically and literally. She rarely has any flaws. She actually makes other girls want to be just like her. She does not fight for anything; she is very civilized and will always follow protocol. Unlike your expectations, she is not an introvert; she indulges in several activities with extroverts but still maintains her sanity. Everyone wants this kind of girl because she’s the one you want to take home to your mama and aunty. Lastly she can cook and sing, real good.

9. Jason/Trevor/ Terrence

Very attractive! Please note that there is a difference here between attractive and handsome. Jason and Trevor aren’t handsome per se but they would hardly pass near you without your acknowledgment! These are the kind of dudes who will make a girl feel like she’s under their drug prescription. They make you feel like you want to get a piece of their love, session after session; be it sex or just conversations. His personality is similar to James’ (refer to part 1) He never wants to say it aloud, unlike mouthy Chris but he is also a heartbreaker just that he (Jason/Trevor) believes that breaking hearts is part of the life chain. He is not a relationship keeper by any means, but a great buddy by all means! Trevor, Jason and Terrence love music.

10. Kevin/Kev.

Fairly social dude sometimes referred to as Kevo. He seems to sail along quite well with almost everyone. He could as well be compared to the female version of Jackie. Lots of stuff just come his way and he always finding himself with several options. This is the catch, Kev will always be that sweetheart because he feels like his life is overcrowded so he wouldn’t mind having less stalkers/friends in it. He is mean at times though most times he comes out as just that good guy. He scrutinizes his women thoroughly even though he is an emotional coward who he takes forever to break up with someone! Eventually he goes nuts looking for that perfect girl who all that while was possibly right there next to him .

11. Brian/ Brayo

He is a cute guy sweet guy, either always trying to have that bad boy image or trying to do bad boy stunts, just to satisfy his ego! The thing with Brian, is his heart. He is into all sorts of things, nasty stuff and all but at the end of the day he  just cant help it but go back to the nice person deep down. All his friend scan count on him. When it comes to love, he always going to funx it up as love don’t love Brian. His traits are almost close to those of Kev.

Launch any more names for a possibility of a part 3

Twister Love

Baby I remember so vividly. It was December when you took this heart so swiftly, that letter … Now almost 6 years later we are so insecure. Funny it still hurts, because we were so secure. It’s now sunny but I still wonder what the cause was. I feel its kind of late for a resolution, so stop trying to hate, just love. Instead try stop the pollution of feelings and shop for a solution of healing.

You see, I am still not sure whether you abused me.  Then I see the weather and  feel the reel on me and I start to think you used me. Guess it’s true that nothing is for certain, I wouldn’t have stayed there anyway hurting. Here is a tip, your guilt trips aren’t working It’s great to be in my own control. I used to think that what you see is what you get, but no you haven’t seen nothing yet because  I don’t care if you are upset. Things went haywire and  in my mind the sun went down and trust went through the wire.

I finally make a choice but with no voice. It’s not right that I just write as  I wish I would say this to you. Make no mistake; my flag is hoist its tag devoid of noise. I just wonder what lies ahead of the road, is it another boy-wonder? Or is it a brother disguised as a boy behind lies? My head on the road ahead and i wonder if its one that truth undergone destruction or is it one that truce is undergoing construction?

My hope is for this heart. That no fear will crop it, instead it will near its will and not drop it. My wish for the heart that lost the battle is to believe in the immensity of love, that the hurt may be lost in the rattle of love’s intensity. Its time to let go of the crime we were accomplices to. The time we were accustomed to. You said to me, “girl you are a dime.” Well, i still am, so you should recognize. We are now in different places but still acquaintances. I asked you then, “Do you want to be the last man standing?” Was it ten axes past the last machine working? I never got the answer in time, it was a hazard, so I pressed the buzzer.

If you are high, don’t drive.

Its the freaking state I didn’t want to be in seeing the bleeding spite I was living in before. My heart just obeyed the thrust! Maybe I should have just stuck to sprite & obeyed my thirst! Like some Antz lived in Insectopia, I couldn’t ante – up to this utopia. . . Damn! They got me so intoxicated yet they bet too I was the designated driver. And they shouted, ‘screw the driver!,’ . . . as I mounted the screw driver in the dilapidated fuse box, I thought, “these fools wanaingia box vi- unorthodox not knowing the precedented danger!” That later, one head would be deca  pitated!

As I drive the Land rover, it thrives past the rest of the cars landing over & jumps over the so called late traffic lights, no screech but heights! So superficial, so official, race so deathly like Death Race, driver of race so damning like Race Driver! Baby that feeling is so despicable! Can’t explain, you can’t wait, no bait rules but speed! Its like a dive in latent water so cold unexplainable! As we cruise, we all scream in the thrill . . . It suddenly hits me in oblivion that this shit rules but so loose it freaking kills! Maybe kesho niko hosi pavilion, fuck! This is horse shit!

(LOUD BANG!!!! ) Darkness prevails ….(suspense)

When I opened my eyes, I was alone like in a dream. It was white as snow, I saw my clone looking clean …. a loner it seemed. Ooohh. . . . so my life ended, in the midst I jacked my neck real bad on the 11th hour. If it was a terrorist even jack bauer couldn’t hack that! Damn! Does it mean given a second chance to a sane life my second means to an end would still end the same way, in a split second? What a conflicting drill to understand that here I stand contrasting my drink that was so fulfilling, so I chill …. Oooohh… It’s that drug that drag me to my death. . . . ok. So I look down & see my friends & fiends all locked down, crying out for me. . . Laying out condolences for me, ambulances blaring out loud! Damn the pandemonium!

I see a policeman walk to my mourning friends, very early in the morning. ‘Peace man!,’ says the doctor, ‘none of the x rays were doctored!,’ he says, it was bad & it’s in the files…. It’s unfortunate .Its now unanimous that my clique is an x file, too late to click in an anonymous. Damn! The policeman subpoenas my pal Agripina, its alleged that she provided the booze & crystal meth. It’s now crystal clear how I met my invited end, so loose. So high a price, so damn high the rise, so damn high it cost me my life. I can’t sober down, can’t come back down even if I wanted, my honour haunted bleeds, like so wanted are the sober breeds!!

DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE.
Piece inspired by a friend who almost lost his life in a road accident, last year.

Are you LOST or a LOSTIE?

NOTE : All the numbers in capital.

A lot of T.V shows have been written and produced, won a whole load of Oscars and awards in general, remembered and forgotten, as well.  A lot of seasons/ series have been made; god knows some things got up to over 10 seasons. Well, we all got our favourite shows of all time. Which one is yours and why is it just, “that one?” That’s not a rhetorical question, i wanna know!

Could it be because it’s silly, tickles you? Or is too emotional, makes you kind of see yourself in a character and you kind of relate to it, what’s your specialty? Is it medicinal? Makes you kind of get a scoop of the lives of doctors and what goes on around the white walls? Is it all CSI, inspector Derrick? Is it comedy, science, fiction, romance, tellenovelas, random ones like the series, DRIVE? Who ever watched that? It was about an underground cult of race driver junkies who would abduct someone you loved/ close to you and make you join a driving race and force you to kill someone at every stop, or they kill your dear person, anyway that was awesome! Not the death part but the thrill. Too bad season 2 never came out…

Well, now we are talking consistencies and this is the part where you get LOST…………….To start with, I am the kind of person who gets sooooooooooooooooo…. engrossed in a movie/ a series, we all do. But i really don’t know what exactly made me fall in love this deep with the series, I choose to write about it because am strange just like it is. It is mind stimulating, superstitious, well crafted, everything I love strangely enough! Critics/ haters have said it’s a waste of time, everything goes round and round, what was its whole point but i chose to try decipher all that myself. Because it’s how life is anyway, going round and round, if we don’t take time and try figure things out then we never even see the least of opportunities thrown our way!

LOST is an American sci-fi drama series, showing the lives of a Flight Oceanic 815 crash survivors on a mysterious island. The world’s most talked about TV show nears its SIXTH and last season, it’s been SIX years since it ventured and it’s writer’s prowess captured the audience’s addiction.The plane that was en route to L.A crashed somewhere in the South Pacific never to be found, well until a HUNDRED days later, after having dealt with the fact that the island was quite mysterious! It inhabited a smoke monster, polar bears in the tropic, other island dwellers popularly known as, “the others” and most of all it had supernatural powers, that could do a whole load of things. A great example, any woman would conceive in the island but no child conceived in the island would survive together with the mum, one of the two had to die. A secret research group of scientists was also based in the island, working in the island, known as the “Dharma initiative”, there was a  mysterious number punching code, 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42.

Aren’t you lost just yet OK,  no one would think they crashed in an island for a reason, ok apart from bad luck but believe you me, this one was for a reason. It took the “losties” HUNDRED days to either believe in the island’s  fate or not, some were rescued, some remained. It took those who left THREE years to realise that they had to go back to the island as it was their destiny, HOW?? See, now you are lost!? But you don’t wanna come out of it. What they didn’t know was that the island was a second chance to life, back in the real world, it was so shitty just like it was before plus there was a bad rumour among them that if they didn’t go back the rest who remained in the island would all die. They had started dying anyway. So they realised that they had to go back but not to stay, but to change their destiny, HOW?? This needs a part TWO.

The main Creators/ Producers/ Directors Damon Lindelof, Jack Bender, Jeffrey Lieber ad J.J Abrams are geniuses, they insist that from the start, they knew very well how the masterfully woven web would end. I know i wanna theorize for you how things went on and what symbols they represent, but do you think you can handle a PART 2?

To be continued….

BONUS!

In keeping with time-honoured tradition, series
creators JJ Abrams, Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof are remaining tight-lipped. When asked about Lost’s ending, Lindelof sits teasingly on the fence: “Some people will think it’s enormously satisfying. Other people will think it’s not satisfying enough. It all depends on the way that you watch the show” (USA Today)

BEYOND CHANCE.

I was the Miss U.O.N 2009  1st runners up….AHEM! I wrote this piece a while back, last year, kept it to myself, now i wanna share it…….

Exactly a week before the Mr & Miss U.o.N pageant, all the contestants including me traveled to Murang’a Kandara. We went there for a charitable event, lets just say that by the time we left that village, we had treated over 250 kids and old folks with jiggers too.

To be honest, I wondered to myself what I was doing in Murang’a, I kept on hoping time would pass so I would go back to Nairobi after all, I was scheduled to have a girl’s crazy night out with Wanjeri and the rest. The soil was red, it was dusty, not my kind of thing! So the doctor showed us the 3 ways of how to wash the jigger infested legs with medicine, gloves on and kazi ikaendelea! My attitude was let’s get this over and done.

I want to think that i am a strong person so I didn’t even think of crying… I washed and medicated a couple of kids feet/legs like 10 kids until my eyes caught this little boy….
So I took him to clean his feet, something inside me drew me close to that kid to date I don’t know what it was. As I started washing his legs, I realized that he had the worst of jiggers compared to the other children. His case was a bit severe. As it caught my attention, I asked him if he had ever wore shoes and he said well, yeah until they got worn out. Then I asked him where his mother was, he said she died and that the dad ran away so now he lives with the cucu. I heard the desperation in his voice, the hope that he would have wished things had turned out differently.. the regret, the loss of hope, somewhat apathetic.

At that particular moment, something gripped my heart like a vein went loose and it really hurt. Tears started coming down my eyes and I kept on telling myself, “fuck what the hell?”  These kids were not supposed to see a “role model” crying, you know someone they perceive as well off & all. Someone who is supposed to give them hope. It was bad because I couldn’t wipe the tears, as I was wearing the gloves. So I just saw my tears falling in the water basin the boy’s feet were in. My tears 1 by 1 ……

When I looked up, the baby boy was also crying! And I thought to myself what did I do? Why is he crying? Was it because I asked him about his parents or because he saw me cry? What do u think? I don’t know, i didn’t know then. So I told him to stop crying but he just couldn’t, tears were rolling down his cheeks like a river! Quite a moment as we were both crying. When I was done, with crying and the washing I didn’t care I removed the gloves and wiped the tears from his eyes.

I took him away, we went to some corner to bond. Then I interrogated him, police station style   He told me where he lived, among other things that he was in class 3 and 10 years old. I felt so weak/ bad because I couldn’t help him. At that particular moment I only had 100 bob (was a popper that day) and don’t forget I needed 50 bob to javv back home from town so I told him we could only split my 100 bob. I asked him wat he would do with his 50 bob and he said he would buy a mandazi, because he always gets hungry. Then I asked him to buy 1 mandazi per day for the next 5 days cz he said mandazi was 10 bob. So we became friends and we was chilling,  then suddenly he tapped me and told me in kikuyu, “ne wega” (thanx) BTW I hear and speak Kikuyu. Then I said “hatire na oru” (don’t mention it) then we was back to chilling …..

Then I realised shucks!! Hadn’t asked the kid his name, he said he was Joseph Ndungu’, and my heart skipped a beat!! And I asked him his surname, Njoroge, i got dumb folded….SHOCK.

What were the chances that I had gotten into a pageant randomly, went to Murang’a for charity, I even didn’t wanna be there, washed so many kids feet and not even looked at their faces leave alone asking them their names, but the little boy who touched my heart & made me cry shared a name with one of my closest friends, my homeboy who lives right across our house, we call him Ndocha but his real name is Joseph Ndung’u Njoroge, just like the little boys’. Identical!!

It then dawned to me, that things normally don’t just happen for no reason. The same way we don’t just meet people for no purpose but everything is written!!

At that same moment I saw my friend in another life. That would have been my friend, if he was born in an unfortunate world. Same to the little boy, if he was fortunate he would have been my neighbour today. I saw the same person in two different lives. Am sorry but am like that, that critical.

I was so freaked out, when I left that boy he ran out of my sight and I never saw him again…..

That night when I came back home, I showered and blackout on the couch thinking about that boy. When I woke up and decided to go to bed, I prayed for that kid. Then I got into bed but I couldn’t sleep!! All I could see were flashes of his crying face, haunting me for almost 40 minutes and I asked God wsup ??

That day I gave birth to a new ambition, that one day I will go back to Murang’a and find Ndun’gu and take him, adopt him. (SOMEHOW) He was in class 3 then, now 4. I have exactly 4years to go.. If I can’t adopt him, i gotta be realistic too, at least I can go get his contacts so one day I can check up on his life and may be one day I can be able to decipher why God made me travel all that way just to meet my friend in another life..

May be I am a dreamer, so help me GOD.

L’AMITIE’

P.S  je n’ecrire pas cette poeme, je ne rapelle pas ou j’ai le trouve’ aussi mais il est tres belle, tres sensuelle, je l’aime! L’amuser……….

Sur terre toute chose A sa part de soleil ;

Toute épine a sa rose, Toute nuit, son réveil.

Pour le pré Dieu fit l’herbe ; Pour le champ, la moisson ;

Pour l’air, l’aigle superbe ; Pour le nid, le buisson.

Tout arbre a sa verdure ; Toute abeille, son miel ; Toute onde, son murmure ;

Toute tombe, son ciel.

Dans ce monde, où tout penche Vers un centre meilleur, La fleur est pour la branche Et l’ami pour le coeur.

endless fights

Every time they get into a fight, she gets into a fright, not because she bets she is right and shouldn’t let the wrangle slide on, but because she knows he has might and will struggle to let it slide on, and on and on…

As soon as they are done throwing nasty words at each other, she is done owing him classy awards, now it’s time for showing him fishy rewards! She doesn’t get the chance though, as he throws her a glance, pow! and walks out, oh! he says he is worked out! Now bangs the door behind him, hangs the phone, damn him! She regrets calling him, she gets lost loving him, searching for him, she hates LOST but now, she would rather it to watching him, ‘write down or not bother?’ she questions her feelings, deep equations, her heart needs healing, see ….emotions are sealing her night….

Heights, are fearful but she fears not that of sky scrapers, but that of heart razors, trappers, gangsters like him, from him she hid, but he did win, trapped her, then stashed her. her nights are tearful but she hates not those of heart breaks but those of her wretch…… she feels like she would have left him, it means that she could have left him, i.e if she really wanted, a sign now she is clearly haunted!

She is not weeping tonight, neither is she sleeping alright, she is however seeking, the gods of love, praying to have, to want, to earn, to learn, to yearn, for love, whatsoever! Tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock tick tock….. She stares at the clock, the cock crows, feels like she is standing at the dock, raw and ready to go get lost in the sea of destitute, the sea of high altitudes where she’ll have no attitude anyway!

Now, she is still up waiting on him to come back home, wow, she’s better alone, if he was home, she still would be waiting for him to get back up …..erectile dysfunctionality is what their sex had come to, she was also seeing her ex, he is erect, a  little functionality was good, food for her, at least once in a while, he made her pant some miles (a litu x rated) Nway time is quarter past three in the night, actually in the morning, his crime is already in her first quota of the daylight, she’s mourning!

She falls asleep around 5 a.m there, she dreams……. “Inside it, she screams like an addict, so high, in it he is like a drug addiction, legal,  a lethal addition to her system… He is like an insulin injection of her stem, she hated that infection…. ‘So,  hang up! when he calls! ,” said her friends, ‘no, hang on! when things stall’, said her fiends, who to trust?”

She wakes up! startled, she sits up, holds her bangle! She is still alone, looks at her phone, wondering whether to call him, suddenly her phone starts ringing, vibrating, irritating, it’s him calling! Her feelings shattering, she presses the “silent” button, the battle ends, stress less, heart less,  she goes back to sleep, like a silly sheep, so peacefully, finally …………

You are a LOSTIE

Definition of the word LOSTIE=> Someone who is obsessed by LOST, you know like me Someone who has watched it religiously season 1 to 5, gotten well………….. LOST a couple of times but constantly kept on, watching it over and over, asking their friends questions about it, dreamt about it, wish they went to an island like that…..

OR simply said, a LOSTIE is also that person who never really gave the show the patience and attention that it deserved, their devotion, but thought it was one of a kind and still is interested in it and how it will end! So if you are reading this you are probably still a LOSTIE! ha, see i tricked ya’ll

OR even simpler, a lostie is anyone of the LOST characters.

Through out this post am gonna be posing questions, they are rhetorical and to be hopefully answered by the writers in the final season!

Nway this is the continuation to my previous article, “are you Lost or a Lostie?” Sooooooo… Americans totally suck! LOST premiered last Tuesday 2rd Feb across the U.S. I woke up Wednesday morning, as usual check my twitter trending topics and get so turned on! Lost was trending! Damn! So i got to the freaking page and what were the dafts doing? Every goddamned person was spoiling! Talking about who died and what finally happened to the plane, that suxx!

First, the lead writer Damon Lindelof already leaked info that either Jack or Locke, the two mainest of characters would die within the first episodes of Seas 6. So yeah,we have been spoiled for enough, how about LOST American twitter trenders shurrrup! So what am gonna do now isn’t spoil but theorize what LOST could be, i mean it’s symbolism to the real world/life, to you, to losties. Why has it taken the world by storm? I am just gonna use everything i have seen from season 5 going downwards back to 1.

It’s less than 24 hours before the world’s most talked about show final season 6 premiers across the globe! It is twisted as you would think! I don’t even know where to start. Ok, first they crashed in a mysterious, untraceable island,then after 100 days 8 out of the survivors were rescued, the ones who remained thought it was their destiny to do so. 3 years later those who left were all social misfits, worse than they were before they crashed in the island, it took them 3 years to then realise that the island was their destiny so then they decided to go back!

Since the island was supernatural, on going back they found that it had time traveled and now they were 30 years back there. When they first were at the island there was a mysterious hatch and they found that it had some wierd combination of numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 that had to be constantly punched, it was someone’s fault to not have punched the numbers on time and thus the flight ocenic flight 815 crashed! So was it fate/ destiny after all?

So now that they were back in the island 30 years back, it was when the Dharma initiatve (a scientific project that was based in the island) was being built and they saw the hatch that would later have the number punching being built. Well, i know you are lost already! Why the number punching? That one i will answer for you, it happens that the land beneath where the punk scientists built the hatch had certain electonic forces that later reacted with the components of the hatch and thats why the numbers had to be punched to somewhat neutralize the natural disaster the absence of number punching would cause, you now understand why the plane crashed on that day that someone called Desmond forgot to punch the numbers?

Ok, so we have finally gotten to the finale of season 5!! The surviving losties unanimously decided to bomb the hatch, so that then 30 years to come when they actually crash, they dont! If they successfully destroy the hatch then maybe 30 years later they could change destiny, meaning all those who died in the crash/ the island come back to life and everyone has a chance to start a new!

But then if they had just stayed put in the island when they got there, none of these things would have had to happen!

LOST RELEVANCE????

I think LOST is symbolic for purgatory, i think when they crashed, they all actually died, the island was then a place where they only were alive to start a new life but in real life they were all dead, however they came back to life/ the real world due to their absence of submission to the island’s destiny!  In summary, how many times have we found ourselves in life situations and try to fight out of them? Instead of dealing with them, living with them? In short, LOST is a teaching that in whatever life situation that comes your way, do not run away from it as it is most probably fate but use it as a stepping stone, learn from it, that you may never go back to your old bad state and then want another chance to go back to the opportunity you lost again!

LOST was an opportunity to a second chance to life, but most of the LOSTIES did not see it a that, how many opportunities are placed right in front of you everyday but you dont see them as that? You think you are too insignificant until it’s too late!

Trust your instincts, your heart, when DESTINY calls, answer!

BONUS!

According to www.eonline.com, LOST came number 2 after Supernatural in top of 09 series! LOST made Time’s list of the 100 Greatest Shows of All Time!  LOST also came 5th on Empire magazine’s list of the top 50 Greatest Shows of All Time!  The New York Times, defined LOST as the show with perhaps the most compelling continuing story line in television history!

Ask yourself why you never gave it the attention, it deserved!

The weave menace

Now that hair above is like  half baked cake! A lot of peeps agree that hair and it’s styling says a lot about a person. Another camp settles on shoes on the same, i personally am in total agreement with both parties. I feel that like  a jigsaw is your style and image, incomplete without a top to bottom symmetry, all the pieces gotta be in sync.

Am just gonna go straight to the Nairobian girls weave menace and the Nairobian dude weave hate parade! A boyfriend once threatened me that he would dump me the day i would  put a weave on my head, well i did not put one, i have never anyway, but not because of him but just because am just not ready to put a weave yet! Dont get me wrong, if i wanna put one, i will do just that, and on top of that, rock it! Some Kenyan girls actually do have good-looking weaves, but question is how many? The renown of trend setters all have weaves, i mean check Beyonce, check Tyra, check Keri Hilson, check Brandy, she even got a weave/s company or something like that, check Rihanna, you honestly didn’t think all that was her hair, they call it bonding, am gonna discuss that a bit later. Anyway just because most girls are doing them wrong doesn’t mean it’s cool to hate on them all, so now lets see where the problem is!

It’s rather clear that weaves are ubiquitous in Kenya yet unanimously hated upon, is it the girls to blame, or the pathetic salonists? Am gonna go with the girls, if she aint rocking her shit, hate on her not the shit! Like shoe size is paramount when buying a pair, so is weave choice when deciding on that hair style!

TOP TIPS

1. The weave type/ hairstyle type

Weaves are either synthetic or natural/ human hair. Synthetic meaning is made out of plastic paraphernalia, and as the name suggests human hair weaves are out of real human heads, of course then processed but yeah you get the point, so if you got human hair weave you can treat it like your hair, i mean tong it, brush it, braid it, wash it, condition it, but women do not do all this on synthetic weaves, a no no, then they stink!  Synthetic weaves are suitable for braiding/ twisting  hairstyles and not flowing styles because it’s definately gonna look fake and might even irritate your face or damage your natural hair!

2. Braiding/ Bonding

Braiding is when you got the cornrows around your head and the weave is attached/ sewed to your head, thats the kawaida way of weaving if i may say. Then bonding is what most of the weave trend setters do, then here you are wanting to compare your hair to Beyonce’s errrr…… not that easy girl! Nway so bonding is when your natural hair is spilt into little portions and the weave is stuck to the portions using wax or a special adhesive glue from the scalp, so in the end your hair and the weave are mixed up together from the scalp, this might chomoa your hair if not done by a professional.

3. Ongoing care

Here is the catch, whether your weave is synthetic or human hair, care is essential and must be observed to the letter. The longest a weave should be on a head is at least 2 months, but there goes your typical Nairobian girl with a 4 month old weave walking around town, eeeuw! A weave is definitely not your hair, well technically it is your hair, because you bought it but anyway, my point is it aint your natural hair from your scalp, so it doesn’t get natural oils! Girls you gotta buy the right hair products for them, wash them often, if you don’t do this the hair will stink and could even carry bacteria, leaving your scalp with dandruff or other dermatological ailments!

So Kenyans should generally style up in the sense of general hair knowledge. The right choice of both hair and salonist must be considered. At the end of the day, weaves were meant to complement the black woman’s beauty as black hair is generally all roughed up but if it aint working, short hair or natural hair should come first, to them weaves so go natural woman!

BONUS!

Money and quality weave availability is also a stall around here! I mean Tyra has spent up to 3,000 dollars on a wig, a weave even double that, Beyonce has spent up to 10,000 dollars on a weave, of course she has! What do you do with all that money if you aint Oprah anyway, so girls you dont gotta have all that money just work with what you got, or  rock it!

Now RIRI can bond really well!

facebook WORST 10

Even despite Facebook’s simple tagline, ‘A SOCIAL NETWORK’ some of its users just wont do it for the network but for their own madness capabilities, it drives me insane and that’s why I found these worst 10 of it! Read through!

1.  Love updates
Love updates are so sickening! It’s enough that we can see you’re in a relationship so please bitch don’t push it! Oh I love you so much, ooh he brought me flowers, its good to make the single ones wanna commit suicide at least once in a while, i mean its part of its social function but we gotta check limits. The reason I am anti- love updates is because 6 months later… the lovers start venting on f.b! ‘I can’t believe he dumped me, you think you are the only one  I will ever love, i hate you!’  etc. On Facebook,  even worse than out of it, there’s a thin line between love and hate, so go easy on it.

2. New Facebook
Y’all even started a f.b group, ‘We want the old f.b back!’ Y’all snitched on the new f.b till you got tired. Ok  f.b, we understood that it’s a social network already, so why the hell do I have to see what my mutual friends  are writing on each other’s walls as status updates!? It’s so damn annoying! We already knew it was a small world so f.b just decided to force the f.b world even smaller…

That new shit totally SUCKS, it has really undermined privacy, in fact they should disable their privacy app, snooping  is now compulsory, inevitable, isn’t this networking forcing social alliances? Facebook is not twitter and never will be as much as its swag  jacking ! The update f.b app allows loooong ass updates, that sucks! Short and simple, like twitter always works.

2. Remove friend app
Thank god in life, outside f.b its not just that easy to remove someone from your life by just a click! I mean that app is so mean but i would call it a necessary evil. The thing is sometimes you wanna check up on a friend and then f.b tells you send friend request. It has happened to me! It pricks! Tricky app as most times you can remove people or a person in an irrational state of mind and its irreversible! You can send them a friend request again Chances are they will ignore you

If it aint those random friends ama sickos and psychos don’t just remove a friend. Miss black roses would personally be hurt if you did that to her, though she’s indulged in that evil application a couple of times

3. Inboxes
We would never exhaust the pros and cons of this app! Dudes tryna ingiza her box via f.b inbox, is sooo 2,000 and late, just style up and man up! That’s lame, what if she doesn’t log in or she deactivates her  f.b? Stall huh? yeah, i thought so

Anyway i prefer a dude who openly wants to ingiza me box via inbox, now some sickos and psychos will just inbox you weird stuff, like ‘good am catholic too, nice boobs, I want you, are you in a relationship with a girl for the attention or what, where do you live’… etc. All those questions should be taken to the police station. Group inboxes!! F.b groups  admins please come slowly! 4 inboxes from the same group between mon and fri is just too much!!

4. Poking
Why the fuck does this friggin’ app exist!? When someone pokes you, you don’t whether it is a sign that they have missed you, or that they want you, are they saying hi jus checking in. F.b has a wall, inbox, comment/like app, why do you just have to poke?

5. Snobs
You claim that you have a f.b profile yet all you do is snob your friends!  They write on your wall, comment on your status but you always snob! WTF!? If you put up a status update that sparked controversy, why wont you cool it down?  And if you didn’t wanna chat with someone, all you had to do was put them in the ka- small chat window and show them that your offline, don’t make someone chat by themself the whole day!!

Ok sometimes you just don’t feel like f.bukin its ok, sometimes you just have a super busy day its ok, sometimes you at work its ok.. just remember to at least return the msgs. even if it’s a week later trust f.b notifications app to alert them Am telling you it pays to know that you aint in that shitty network alone

6. Group invites/ Relationship status

They make me nauseous! Every other morning like 15 of your friends are in relationships, by afternoon half of them are single, then by night fall the other half are married, tomorrow morning they are all in complicated relationships!! It sucks when you were in a serious relationship and it ended then you gotta change to single, people then start calling you, writing  on your wall ati kwani you guys broke up etc.. so much for your personal life!

There are groups called, ‘how big is your penis?’, another one, ‘lets measure your penis’, there are groups for anything and everything under the sun! The create group app has definitely been misused!

8. Name changing
We get the point, that you can edit your account settings woo hoo!!! great. You finally found a place where you can change your name everyday and use it without need for an affidavit of support to show that you are the ALIAS.. Dude! Some of us have thousands of friends on f.b, how the hell are we suppose to keep up with the changes. I go nuts every time I see an update, then am like: now who is this?? By the time I figure out ooh ok its Kevin, he goes again to change his name to K- force!! #CONFUSION

However, some of those names changes rock STONES! Tom Mfyamest, Trackit Migingo, Okoth M-pesa, Trish Babie, Flow Kadenge,  I  like those who change their names to interesting things like that! We gotta spice this bitch up!

9. Misuse of the expression LOL & NKT
It’s nice to use lol and nkt where applicable but then some peeps got this fake memos from fake f.b and were told they gotta use those two in every other comment and update!! You see an update… Is so tired of reading LOL! What’s there to lol about? OR: Had a good day chilling with Susan, nkt! #CONFUSION

Trust LOL for having revolutionized even Australopithecus hawezimake!! LOL to LMAOL to ROTFLMBAO to ROR to KHOL these words have been super used and abused!

10. Comment Busters.
If someone has updated a sad thing like my mum is so sick in hospital, what is there to like about that? Maybe we should propose for a dislike app, i mean not commenting at all isn’t the same with not liking nway some people will just comment haphazardly even when you write in french and they don not understand!! Sometimes updates are rhetorical, then the busters are there so busy commenting! Un necessary comments spoil the gist of updates but then again, busters wouldn’t know anything about gist would they?

BONUS!

This dude sent me a friend request and i just accepted, little did I know that he was one of those psycho dudes! Since the day i clicked on the accept button, the dude was commenting on all my updates, ALL! When I decided to check his profile a couple of days later, his small box on the far left that says, ‘write something little about yourself’,  it had: ‘Loves Anyiko & will marry her!’  The dude had only 30 friends! I mean even Sheldon BIG BANG THEORY has 200 friends on  Facebook. That was my record, fastest time someone was ever removed and blocked from my profile!

Black summersnight

Haven’t listened to any other thing since the day i got my hands on this album. It takes me away to a dark place, full of soul and beautiful. Blacksummersnight is Maxwell’s 4th studio album and the first of his trilogy.

His first 3 albums came in between the 1996 – 2001. It then took him almost 9 years to put up the 9 tracked Blacksummersnight, which epitomizes both R&B and neo Soul genres. It was a long but deserved break and certainly Maxwell came back from the hiatus with a lot of maturity and sensuality. It is alleged that actual studio time taken to complete the album took 3 years.

1. Bad habits 5:52

Maxwell’s falsetto tells a story of a man, prisoned by his womans silence. She actually does speak but without a sound, leaving him highly addicted and lost to her highest cost of her love. The music video starts by Maxwell receiving an envelope with a key, just as his girlfriend was about to kiss him goodbye, on her way out of the house. He constantly sneaks in the back alley to meet his lover whom he locks into passionate love with. Watch the video maxwell- bad habits

2. Cold 4:02

He is a man in marvel of how mean his woman could get. He sings that, hell has no fury like the fury of her storm, that even global warming has got nothing on her. And now he now knows why he always felt that something as good as her could never love him. She left him so he sings to her, “God bless you, you too good for me.”

3. Pretty wings 5:10

This is a beautiful song, with beautiful lyrics. Maxwell sings that there shall come a time when there will be no feelings or residuals to hold her to him anymore. He believes that one day he will have to let her go. He is afraid that if he holds on to her, she will then be afraid to spread her pretty wings, and here i suppose he meant her soul. Simple music video.I think the fact that it has different women all dressed the same symbolizes the fact that no matter which woman it is out there, she deserves to be loved  :-) Watch the video maxwell- pretty wings

4. Help somebody 4:01

Powerful and intense beat to this song. It is the plea of a man who feels like he has a lot of abilities in him and urges everyone who is like him to help somebody in a world that is full of trouble. He then pleads to be helped for he is not perfect. Guess even in imperfection or eternity, there is need for help. Amazing piano, saxophone and trumpets fusion as the song ends. Love it.

In a short interview called, ’5 days of black’ from the official album, Maxwell terms the song as an effort of extending a helping hand. “We are at a time where we need to sort of see ourselves in other people, it’s the selfless nature and how we have to get to that,” he said.

5. Stop the world 3:56

Certified baby making jam. Definitely love the R&B feel, slow and sensual. Maxwell sings that somebody need to stop the world so he can love his woman without the world’s rage. For when he is with her the world stops falling, in the mean time he will make love to her till the world stops, wow! Nice guitar work too.

6. Love you 3:35

A love song that’s upbeat! That’s what i am talking about! Cool neo-soul. He sings that fatigue caught up with her appearing and disappearing acts. He is giving  her his word that he can be anything she wants him to be, only if she lets him love her. Quite a lovely track to #musiceveryday and getting back to an Ex.

7. Fistful of tears  3:39

Monster track with an intense R&B beat, just right for the heart! Lyrics touch on how people always fight and throw fists. After a fight, you go insane, crazy sometimes but why don’t we fight, not to throw fists but for the world? That way only one thing will be thrown, a fistful of tears. DEEP. Watch the video 
8. Playing possum 4:22

Playing possum is one of the most beautiful songs my heart and ears have experienced in the years I have lived. It’s old English to mean, lying low and pretending that you are asleep or not hearing/ seeing something.

This song made me cry. It’s acoustics echo sentimentality. Loved the guitar and the smooth drums. She plays possum, pretending that she doesn’t need him, he therefore sings to her to open up and wake up. He says that he will be there where she is and very still, if she wasn’t.

9. phoenix rise 2:41

This is kind of Maxwell’s show off of how good he can make instruments speak! No vocals in this one, just that neo- soul mix. Very cool for a chilled out evening or a party. Am picturing a lot of wine and good happy people in this one Out of 5, I give Maxwell 5 STARS  :-)

BONUS: At the 52nd Grammy Awards, ‘Blacksummersnight’ bagged the best R&B album of the year, he also took the award for best male R&B vocal performance in  ’pretty wings’.

The maasai mara safari

It happened in 2007 but i remember it like it was yesterday. I always wanted to put it into writing!

Soooo…. my good good friend Smiles was scheduled to leave the country for Germany in a few days! She was not gonna leave temporarily but permanently! Ouch! Reason being, she had found love, across the seas and the oceans, yuck! Nway she finally was going to leave behind the LDR (Long distance relationship) thing and settle down with her man who was living in Germany, but is Scottish in blood. It was really  itching me that i was going to have to let her go. At that time she was living with me and my sis at our house, i kinda had chips fungad her So you can guess how attached i was to her.

I wasnt sure about this man she was going to live with, would he change his status later on, would he treat her like the queen she is, i just had so many questions in my mind! Well, before her decision to relocate she had been working at the Mara Sarova and her resignation came as a surprise even to the management. As her name suggests, Smiles has always been a person full of life and smiles, letting her go was like letting go of a beautiful summer day, soooooo.. as a token of appreciation she got a holiday for two at the Mara before her departure and guess who were in the next bus ride there? Me and Smiles wohoooo!

It was completely un called for, first and foremost, we were soo broke so we had to jav all the way! The shuttle we took from Nairobi, Nyamakima was alright, i must say. Though i saw some funny looking people down there, well… i thought they were funny looking until we got to where we were going…. wait on….We had been instructed by the manager of Sarova to be at Narok at 2.00 pm SHARP! This is because there was only one bus that would transport us to Sekenani, the town right before the National park a.k.a where the hotel was! If we missed that bus we would therefore have to cab, and we didn’t have enough money for that! So yeah, it was a matter of life and death!

Of course we were running late already, as we had woken up late back in Nairobi. Why does your alarm always mess you when you need it the most?  We got to Narok at 2.10 pm! Hungry and thirsty as hell but first things first, we panted towards the stage to see if we could still catch the bus seeing we were already 10 minutes into the late running! Sooooo…. just as we got to the stage, we saw the bus, sorry, “mini bus, i then reckoned” pull over from the stage, it had a sign, “SEKENANI/ tanzania” We just hopped in, eastlands style, phew! We could now sit and sigh though we were still starving mad! We couldn’t sit together, as the only seats remaining were singles.

I sat next to an old Maasai  man, he was sitting next to the window. Smiles sat right behind us,  next to another old man who had been singing since the time we got into the matatu! “This should be interesting, ” i thought to myself.  Now, Narok to Sekenani drive should be slightly more or less than a 5 hours drive but as the journey commenced, it somehow felt like we were going back into time. The  road got worse, the stench in the matatu got heavier, the heat was more like hell re defined, and the damn old men couldn’t stop singing out loud! Wow, so helpful just when i wanted to nap, soooo the old man sitting next to me was drinking some lethal smelling alcoholic drink/ chang’aa style and chewing khat/ miraa. Oh gosh it was so disgusting!

He had a sequence, chew, drink then spit outside the window and after a while he just reminded me of my dreadful highschool days of Physics! That thing, was it called ripple effect or doppler effect? Which one is which? That when something is moving at a certain speed, the other thing adjacent to it, will move at a separate speed, probably slower? What was that now? Nway as he was spitting out the window, the moving car’s speed/ wind took over the effect and the spit didn’t go outside the window but into my friend Smile’s eyes! Remember? She was sitting right behind us! It was one of the most disgusting moments i had ever experienced, in my entire life! Her eyes were full of that green stuff, and what made it funnier? She started crying hahahahaha! That’s me laughing at her, little did i know my time was coming up ahead.

Finalement, we got there tired as junk, disgusted like I don’t even got a simile! The Sarova land rover or is it cruiser picked us up from Sekenani, 1st pittstop when we got there was shower, shower and shower! It felt like we were somewhere among the others in the LOST island, i loved the civilization  Later on eat and relax was the itinerary. No need to explain how the 4 nights we had there was, you know what girls do, bitch, gossip, eat, hug and drink and eat was the order per say!

Now on the last day, we did something stupid, or not, depending on how you look at it. We got so fucking drunk!!!! We downed 3 boties of Richot brandy (my baby who never lets me down ) On the next day in the afternoon, Smiles was going to the embassy to pick her visa or something like that so we had to make that travel back through hook or crook! It was hardly 2 hours from the time we hit our bed in the wee hours of the morning when we had to wake up, that same deathly mini bus called  ‘DUB DUB’ from Tz was the same one we had to catch at 4.00 a.m

So this time round, everything went well, we were up on/ in time and we caught the bus! The baridi was so frighteningly desert like,  what!? I was still so freaking high, now that was a confused feeling i had right there! When we got to the bus, it was full to capacity and then what? My friend Smiles said we had to get in, as i was already backing up from it. I didn’t want to get in, i even suggested for us to go  back, but in vain! So we had to stand through the whole journey, all that stuffiness that early morning! Apparently the next bus passing through Sekenani would be at 5 pm, at that time we should have reached Nairobi!! #BUMMER

Soooo, after an hour, i started getting some heat rush and feeling kinda nauseous, so I told Smiles, ‘I don’t think am feeling too good.’ The last thing i remember was sweat dripping down my forehead/ spine. The next thing I saw when i opened my eyes, was ZEBRAS! The sun was starting to rise up, it was a beautiful day,  the grass was green and looking all dewy fresh, zebras were grazing right there in front of me and that’s when it hit me, “I must have died, wow! Thats how good heaven looked like!?, then i was like, God why did you have to take me so soon?” Suddenly, i heard someone shout, “AMEAMKA!”

Apparently, i had fainted in the bus, silly me to actually think that i had died and went to heaven. But that story was so funny, we laugh at it to date with my girl Smiles. We got to Narok/ Nairobi safe, she got her visa alright, she left me for her man, i cried alright, since then she visits often, we talk all the time/ Facebook of course, she is now happily married and living with her husband in Germany.

BONUS!

Last year she came back home to have a Kenyan wedding here. Well she had already, had one before, the ngurario. Is that what they call it in Kikuyu? Then in Germany she did one too, so in total she has wedded this guy or vice versa thrice I was her maid of honour and the only one in her bridal party. I am honoured to date That was a pixx we took at the weeding, that’s me and her, her hubby and his best friend as his best man.

What you do to me …

LIKE A DEMON, you possess me, process me, holistically, not like whole milk but like silt, like silk, so fine, so divine, it’s an obsession I invite, my hearts procession I never decline, when it hurts, its my objection, I decide. The most fair of  judges, the lost share no grudges in your court room, it’s the velvet room, temperatures always favourable, desirable, amicable, silhouette.

LIKE COFFEE, you start me up, fire me up, stir me up, a super drug you are, you fill me up. Your sugar, not too much, not too little, not brittle. When I am sleepy you wake me up, soothe me up then you j.holiday me up, when am in bed, no worries, instead i sleep like a baby, lately when I am sheepy you shake me up, you keep me up. Like espresso you are so dark and concentrated, my morning express you are, a mourning I press through my system. I am sure you seep through my stem, through my branches, you blind my hitches, you blind mayhem, I mind how I take you in.

LIKE MY PARTNER, we’ve been in a long-term relationship, so steady no rocky ship, so ready emotionally and physically I am always gripping to my radio, the patio is where I like to sit. I let my lover whisper sweet nothings in my ear, I hate when my lover stops, as my world stops. That’s why our love has no forward button but rewind and replay, remind and play is our vocabulary, not ordinary, just extra pleasure, comfort, leisure, effort, no measure, I love how my partner blends me in.

LIKE MY SOUL, you choose not who to touch, you choose not who to relieve of hurt, you release yourself, you let loose to all people, you never choose any race or kind, you always use all walks of life, never the path that lies. Baby you get me so emotional, I feel like I wanna cry you a river, you are so sentimental, you make me shiver, I believe you wanna run deeper than a river in me, deeper than the oceans there in, sweeter than the emotions in me, baby, lately you’ve inspired me, I aspire to take you in daily, constantly, consistently, consequently I love how you are selfless.

LIKE AIR, I need you bad. When i have you, my lungs fail me not, when I have you my heart pumps blood to my body, a lot! You are definitely that somebody. When I miss you, I suffocate, when I diss you, you kiss me, I resurrect, you resuscitate me, you never shut up, you never shut down, so when I am tired, I turn you a bit down, then its slow motion to the ears, slow motion to the fears, slow motion as my devotion to you. You are so sensual when you are low in sound, I take you in and out, slowly, in and out, panting, in and out…….I take you in and wish you would stay inside me forever. However, I figured i cant survive without you, I like your figure stunts, the way you’re moving, what you’re doing, you’re like a treasure hunt to me, i am always in your pursuit, a fresh breath of air you see, that’s what you do to me.

LIKE LOVE MAKING, you are the best I ever had, never too hard on me, never too slow on it. Your magic stick makes me wonder, so i let it wander in the wilderness of the moment. I let you blander in the wildness of the moment, you always rectify and verify to me that you still remain to be the most alluring of lovers, the most ensuring of lovers. I can’t skip a night without your love-making, I can’t speak a word without my heart shaking for you, i am your slave. Every time you get inside of me, you take me to a place of satisfaction, every time i set inside of you, you take me to a sacred place of emotions.

I love you MUSIC.

 

THE LETTER

Dear lover,

It’s crazy that you haven’t spoken to me in 6 weeks! It’s shady that i hadn’t given you your token, not of recognition but of appreciation. These sheets have been cold since your depreciation, not of the financial streets but of my heart that beats, bleeds, shit! See this is me writing you this letter because am tired of biting my nails thinking of you, am tied of wanting to be better without you, hoping later this will emancipate me, confiscate any trace of you in me, so baby please relate to it, hate it but i said it mate, i want peace.

This morning i woke up so scared so i had to share this with you, you know, declare a few things, new thrills for you. Last night i had a nightmare, i was right there, you were stuck in a rubble, it was terrible! I couldn’t save you nor have you, i couldn’t see you nor seek through the rocks, stones, i was left alone frightened,  my fears heightened, my tears were flowing, not like a river but snowing like a storm in Alaska, i must have been knowing that it was the end, the world was falling, i was calling out your name, its shame you couldn’t hear me, near me, see me, so you succumbed to the tragedy and i got numb from the parody.

I just wanted to know how you are, if you are sure, is it not me you wanna share with, this eternity, this un certainty, i believe its your prerogative. I know that it might just have been a dream, but it seems I lack the might to ignore it, instead i have the light  to acknowledge it. I am gonna cut to the chase, as i don’t wanna get hurt in the race. Got a couple of questions for you, when you get this letter, i better get reactions from you baby, lately it’s been explosions in my head, memories when  in my bed, melodies of regret anyway,

Well i am sorry i am a little late to ask this, do not dismiss this, and by the way, i got the message you sent me 2 weeks ago. I wont deny not having replied, but i was at the massage parlor, i got carried away by the colour of relaxation and determination to sabotage your efforts, you echoes in my mind, time has healed me, now release me. P.S You don’t have to answer me if it’s too personal, but do your thoughts of me ever become sensual? Do you ever reminisce of us on the bathroom floor, at the showroom back door, do you miss me?

Love, your somewhat jilted Lover.

in love with THE musician

He is a musician by profession, my magician in discretion, not of a circus but of  my heart as he heals all the fracas of  my hurt. He loves to be in the spotlight, at night after his show we have candle lit dinner in slow mo, on our spot lit dimmer just like he likes it, no homo, i mean he is a celebrity! Just like electricity he is essential to general functionality, the special general who sustains my sanity, he is the lead singer of his band, but to me, he is my band of elasticity, he twists and turns my emotions, when he holds my hand he sings and turns me wild, i swing and run shy, my worries burn away, i throw the ashes in the oceans….

A lot of fans always tweeting about him, i loath this as i am the one needing him the most, i am the one speeding his beats the most; not of music per minute but of ghosts of  love with no limit, leaving him haunted and bleeding in passion, leaving him knowing that he is hunted and wanted for countless sessions; not of rehearsals but of referrals, i am like his patient who is sick and in dire need for medicine, he is my doctor so patient to seek the vaccine to my illness, my sweetness, my heart rests in his hands….

He signs a thousand autographs but he minds only one photograph, that of me, he says that, ‘it’s worth 1000 words’…. It might seem mean but in his graph, i am constantly rising, no graft but fair, the mean score instantly surprising at top of them all, no flare. He scoops awards at several events; not only musically but he is liberal, he never vents but wins my heart’s award too, fair and square, that’s why i share this with you, please don’t find me queer.  In the entertainment world he is a superstar! In my temperament word is, he’s my star! In my geography department, he is my luster, my lasting rock that shines! In my hearts compartment, he is my never rusting metal, that galvanizes me from all evil, realizing him free from all ego….

I just fell in love with THE musician.

reply to the letter..

Hey there,

Yeah we haven’t spoken in 6 weeks, all those! It’s because we are broken. Not like a porcelain doll baby but you are like a valentine’s day that went wrong and took its toll.  It’s not crazy but hard, it’s a purple haze i cant see through, it’s a hurdle i cant unscrew,  a mystery, seriously it’s an inefficiency that you facilitated, in disguise of having emancipated thy self, but it was in despise and what you didn’t realize was that it was an iniquity. Despite our duo having reached the shelf life why would you call yourself my somewhat jilted lover?

Did i have her? No, i did not, i kid you not. Since the last time we were together havent been with anyone, not literally but sensually, personally,  i have been alone, my heart now a stone, lonely, if only you knew. Nway there’s nothing new, i am the same old fine, thank you, it’s a shame that i have been lying here sly, trying to hate you but inside I am dying trying to create another you, erase this from a brother. In case you never knew, i run to sleep at night, I hunt to seek through my nights, all for that one possibility, that i might meet you in my dreams…

I am better now and glad that you wrote me that letter. I am however sad that only that nightmare prompted you to write me, the scare haunted you to write me. What happened to the days when you used to bite me, kiss me, txt me, say you missed me every 2 minutes? Limit is what we never had, summit is what we aimed to have, to reach the top of the mountain, not of rock climbing but that which draws a fountain of love. Yes, i think of you, i sink in your thoughts, a lot, i do remember especially september, your bday, that day with the bee on your pretty nose, your sexy panty horse, your sassy voice when panting, our partying days, your sick days, everything… Yes i miss you honey.

Love right back at you.

Love, the album.

At a time when negativity, vulgarity and nudity is applauded, and softness is seen as weak,  Boyz II Men go against the odds and once again wave their LOVE flag. Well, it’s the same flag that they have held up high over the years, 20 years to be precise. In Sept 19th 2010, the boyz mark their 20th anniversary. The baby making music geniuses who brought you, “girl in the life magazine” “I’ll make love to you” “end of the road” among other hit singles, take their 10th studio album titled “LOVE” to a whole new level. With a career built on spreading love, the boyz decide to re-record a collection of life changing love songs that have been previously written and recorded by other artists.

I see this as mature, playful, familiar, old, but yet a new sound to my ears, my fears. How better way to hear a serenade re done by the now, trio of vocal experts, Wanya Morris, Shawn Stockman, and Nathan Morris. Nelson with the deep voice left the group to pursue a solo career and Michael left due to personal issues and illnesses. It’s amazing that 5 was the identity but the 3 who remain absolutely uphold the magic. The new album produced by American idols Randy Jackson is a blend or R&B, acapella and soul, a really smooth listen. In a short interview posted on Youtube, the boyz discuss their album, “LOVE” this is what the boyz had to say,

Shawn : “These are songs that aren’t just from R&B singers, we stretched our vocal abilities and did other things outside this genre like pop, jazz and rock to explore that other side of love.

Wanya: “We hope that these songs will become the soundtracks to people’s lives again, when you hear it please know that it came from a real place, we put out hearts into it. WATCH IT NOW! => *THE INTERVIEW*

I just choose to review the first 7 songs out of the 13 track album, you should grab it and sample the best love songs re done

1. I can’t make you love me 5.17- originally done by Bonnie Raitt

He sings to his lover that as much as he loves her and would do anything for her, he can’t make her love him. He sings that he cant make her heart feel something that it wont. Serious heartbreaking throw back lyrics song. For all those who were in relationships that never worked, this one’s for you. They boyz say that this one has been one of their favourite songs of all time and they choose it the first to be in their first rendition album.

2. Amazed 4.18- Lonestar

He is amazed at what she does to him, every little thing that she does, amazes him and for that reason he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. The smell of her skin, the taste of her kiss, the smell of her hair, everything about her touches his heart, he wants that to las forever…

3. Could it be am falling in love? 3.57- The Spinners

Real soul, with the intense Earth wind and fire feel. He sings that from the first time he met her he doesn’t need the little joys he used to have, instead he just wants to be with her and derive those little boyish feelings from her. Could it be that he is falling in love? definitely love the soul, the trumpets, the pianos, the band ahhhhh…

4. If you leave me now 4.03- Chicago

He warns her, “If you leave me now, you take away a very big piece of me” A love like ours is very rare to find, how could you take it away? How could we end it like this, just sit down and let us talk about this. This is soooo Marvine Gayle, the type of song to serenade to your lover to beg them not to leave you. A great get back together love-making to, tune

5. Time after time 3.56- Cyndi Lauper

As the song title suggests this is a true classic! Never ages time after time but instead goes straight to the heart. The Boyz show off their vocal abilities as they accapella through this timeless lovely piece… If your lost you can look and you will find me, time after time. If you fall I will catch you, i will be waiting, time after time.

6. Iris 4.08- Goo Goo Dolls

THIS IS MY VERY BEST RENDION! NOW NOW NOW CLICK HERE TO LISTEN => *IRIS* Arguably one of the best love songs of all time, City of angels soundtrack, Armageddon too if am not wrong. originally done by the Goo Goo dolls, the rock band you know. Yeah, that’s how deep the boyz went to bring out the true love in songs. This is that song that made you cry at night when you were missing your lover. “I dont want the world to see me, I don’t think they would understand me, when everything is broken i just hope you’ll understand who i am” P.S never make this your “relationship” song, it never dies but relationships ends, choose wisely

7. Cupid 3.49- Sam Cooke

Soul for you acappella at the bridge, cupid drop back your bow and let your arrow go straight to me He sings to cupid that he is distress and there is danger that he is in love with a girl who doesn’t even know that he exists, he promises to love her to eternity if cupid gives him a chance with her. Just how sweet can a song’s lyrics be? Hope someone ever asked cupid to do that for him for me , wink

BONUS!

Based on sales, Boyz II Men is to date, the most successful R&B male vocal group of all time. I think this is yet another height of their career.

She cannot define who you are..

You are my music, sweeter than mursik, when am sick of you, you still stick to me like superglue. Super dude is what I can call you, stall you is what I can never do, forever have you is what I would like to do, wound you is what I never do but YOU is what I love to do.  Not metaphorically but literally, ideally you are the best lover.

In pursuit of a comparison, you are my song suit for a reason, like a 5 star hotel suite I love your quality, never based on quantity but sanctity, the time we spend comprises of memories I never erase, melodies I ever anticipate to serenade, to teach the world on how to imitate good love, and how it is made. No pun intended, without YOU am dead hun its true.

When you kiss my neck, I miss the point and instead get lost in your seduction, what the heck, we end up in bed for satisfaction! When I kiss your ear, you hear nothing but the bliss of my captivity, you break my  virginity, all over again! I gain as you always make me feel young, sprung like it’s our first time, a  dime is what you are, hung up sometimes, I feel like I am who you are.

In show for my love, I throw my fears to you, my tears on you, consequently only YOU makes things right, you are my light, my judge, you never smudge anything on me. As every night my thoughts merge, you frequently cross my mind, currently I have submerged my entire being to you, hope I don’t budge when I wake you up to stare, understand it’s a mere urge.

You are my favourite DJ, always in my favour even when am in PJ’s. You say you like it that way, I say I like it your way. In the morning you play the baby making record, ‘baby make love to me, ’I beg  in one accord. As am mourning you play me some soul, just like the band playing, you are my Earth, Wind and Fire, blazing. You sweep me off my feet,  remain so sweet and just by the touch of your hand, you burn me up!!

Sade, the soldier of love.

Sade, another reason why am proud to be African. If you didn’t know that she is of Nigerian British roots, well get the memo. Africans should be proud of her musical contribution to the world. Soldier of love is Sade’s 6^th studio album.

The album generally touches on the long hard road of love and life lessons. It acknowledges hurt and disappointments but in the end with a summary that you can wash away anything from your skin, it can’t be that easy but yes you can start afresh, you too can be a soldier of love is you find rest in the safest place.

—> Did anyone notice how i wrote that paragraph using the song titles? Usually someone shouldn’t force the reader to notice such things, but i have to flaunt that

1. The moon and the sky 4.27

Sade sings of deep love. To her lover who knows the reason why their love could have had the moon and the sky. Despite the breakup, he doesn’t  let her move on and it hurts her so she still won’t let him go. Very catchy beat and nice intro!  Lovely work on the guitar I must say!

2. Soldier of love 5.58

This is what i call an intense beat. Fit for a movie soundtrack. FYI it was among the chosen soundtracks for Lost Season 6.  She sings that her heart lost its use but she will soldier on and survive as she’s still looking for the light. Don’t we all want to be soldiers of love? Watch the video

3. Morning bird 2.39

A very beautiful song. You would either get its gist or not. Like the morning bird she sang everyday but now the bird flew away deep lyrics. I love the violin and piano gives it a chivalric sound. She goes on to sing that she is still a bird and if he sets her free she will not run. Sigh.

4. Baby father 4.40

Quite a lovely track! Definitely in my top 3 in this album! Let’s start with the guitar work. I love how the momentum builds up, listen keenly and you will notice the difference. It’s like a Bob Marley’s resurrection of the guitar in could this be love. This is a great neo-soul track with a great love story. Listen to the song and watch the lovely vid

5. Long hard road 3.02

This one has that Sade- x factor. The guitar work sounds so Santana but it’s Juan Janes, Mexican, i think. Her song is an assertion that despite the long road ahead, it’s going to be alright. I call this a motivational track, again this would make a great movie soundtrack.

7.Bring me home 4.05

A soft rock song, she sings that the ground is full of broken stones, she got nowhere to turn to so please bring her home. This song basically says that east or west, home is best. Not a track you want to listen to everyday but definitely a good one.

8. In another time 5.06

Just like the name of the song, the one sounds like it should have been released in another time, maybe the 80’s. It’s so Earth wind and fire- misty blue. Love the whole band feel, the guitar and sax fused in piano. She sings that if things don’t work out girl, it will in another time and place though.

9. Skin 4.13

I really love this one, it’s a favourite! And that bass guitarist, wow! True neo-soul, it’s like when Maxwell used to rock an afro, Erick Benett on dreads and something like D’angelo naked in a music video. Remember that time? She sings that when she found out their love was gone, like Michael Jackson back in the day, she begins to wash off her skin, to peel him away, as he was right in within …

10. The safest place  2.46

This is the one song that would make me cry. It is acoustic. Always said that if songs had sisters this one would be twins with Maxwell’s ‘Playing possum’. She sings that in her heart his love has found the safest hiding place, inside her heart is a field with trees and a lake. there is a wall that no one could break as she is a lonely warrior. That her heart has been to war so he can be sure that he has found the safest hiding place.

What can i say? God bless you Sade.

Will you marry me?

Will you marry me Mr. Right? Will you bury me in your nights, days, insights and prospects? Will you respect me, never disrespect me but forever anticipate to petting me, patting me? Will you be waiting for me ? Will you not agitate unnecessarily over me but facilitate to be my lover? “Dearly beloved”, is what the Pastor says, but clearly ragged, is what the past has said of me, will you leave that behind, will you be behind me as I turn a new leaf, burn a new….

See, like a phoenix, my love will timelessly burn you in a fix, carelessly leave you fit, consequently my love is state of the art, shot straight through to your heart, not by cupid but by cute me

Will you marry me Mr. Right?  Not in a hurry, as we might as well spend the rest of our lives in preparation. In reparation of the dried well, the waters shall never run dry, our cool waters shall forever run deep, we shall spend every hour of the rest of our lives together, in the shower, in God’s power, everywhere, i mean not literally but emotionally, holistically, i mean no distance shall keep our hearts apart, a part of my heart for instance will be yours to keep, guard the keys to it, seal this covenant with a kiss in it, make this real am gonna be your Mrs, aint’ it?

Clearly it aint’ easy, but baby be at ease, look at it seriously through your heart, honestly i wont hurt you so you gotta be up for it, better yet you gotta tap it, not my boootey but am talking about your royalties, earn my niceties but you gotta harness them, not like energy but pray that God blesses our synergy, our  anthem, our union, that in 50 years  we can celebrate a reunion.

Will you marry me Mr. Right? I wanna be your wife, stride through your life, see you through all your strife, abide by your side, aside from that be with you all the time day and night. I pray that I can use my might to teach you on how to be a better man, that I might see you somehow as a changed man, a sane man but deep down a crazy man for me, a crave i yearn in me, that I’ll be timeless like Sade, a shade of love that reflects  in us, resonates past us, now take off your shades, lower the window shades, as the wind blows, look at me in the eyes:

Will you marry me?

Yes, I will marry you!

Yes, I will marry you honey, put all my money on you, carry you with dignity all through, I will be true to you till our infinity. Sweetie, forget Vegas its sin city, I want us to hold a secret ceremony, a sacred harmony in the country side, so leave upper easide, we’ll reside by the serene ambiance, beside the elite alliance of our chosen few guests, guess what? I will get you a surprise band to impress you, call it a blessing in disguise but they will sing for you my empress, then it will be all express as I hold your hand in marriage, as I stand bold in the lineage, not of the groom party but of the rules partly, the rules of marriage, certainly.

I wanna to be your husband, I wanna hunt down anyone after you, shut down anyone stalking you, I wanna be hands down every time I see you, so I can touch you down every time I want to, am gonna be around anytime you tear down to put all your fears down, I will be your surround system, your stem to facilitate photosynthesis, not of plants but of parts of the food to our love’s metamorphosis, I anticipate to be your man, do you feel me, do you need me, can you see me as that?

Yes, I will marry you babe, I am certain of my fate so don’t worry even if I am late on that date. About the cake, I want it to be of your favourite take, so choose whom you want to bake it, I will pay any price to take it for you, just to please you my priceless woman, my princess, I sure am a lucky man. I love you because you don’t fake it, you are a real woman who fights for cause, who says when she cant take it, you guard my heart you never break it, inside my heart you are a burglar you broke into it, with no notice instead of stealing I noticed, you put in your valuables, your intangibles, your love….

I wanna be your hubby, the father to your baby, babies if you wish, I wanna whisk you away to start our family, with clarity I promise to protect you and the kids, my friends call it insanity but who needs sanity when I have you my fiancée’? Times are hard knock but if I knocked you up nothing can be harder, I don’t mean to be corky but knock at my door any time you need my assistance, for instance, finances, romance, trips to France, fragrances, anything you want I will be your slave, so be brave and hunt me down!
I can see your tears of happiness, but for now dry the tears from your eyes, look up, look at me, I’ma say it once again, Yes, I will marry you!

long distance love part1.

When i got the news that you were going to leave, i couldn’t believe it so I watched CNN news till morning, i knew it was not because i was on it but because I was mourning, your supposed to be departure. A rapture is what it felt like, captured by you is what i liked but then it felt like a wrong scripture on the right scribe, I just can’t describe how it felt, it was like a ride in an emotional rollercoaster, not Vivian Green but a real transformational role, a cost I had to pay for. Of course a ride I hadn’t prepared for….

When i took you to the airport, I selfishly wished that you had forgotten your passport, insufficiently you hadn’t, then you passed through the customs and checked in, my god I chickened out! I remember how you pulled me close to you, you pulled out a calendar, my gift from you, i pulled out the poem I wrote you, to you it was a prose from a rose, my gift for you, I read it to you, I made it for you, but you didn’t appreciate it, instead you wanted us to negotiate our future ahead, our homestead to nurture, my head went spinning….

After you finally left, I stood there in the cold disoriented, I wished you would call but this was unwarranted, I mean you were gone I was screaming internally, my heart was no longer gleaming but bleeding in turn to have you right then and eternally. I couldn’t express the pain verbally so i sat on the cold bench to cry hurriedly. A gentleman came to me, he gently wiped my tears away with the palm of his hands, “dry your tears, “he said to me. What he didn’t know was that i had a lot of fears…..

TO BE CONTINUED!!

LOST finally revealed!

It’s been a week or so since i watched the final episode of LOST 6! I have since been as twisted as the sci-fiction show that finally drew its curtains after 6 series relayed over a period of 6 years! I had planned that i would blog about it as soon as i finished watching the finale episode but i just couldn’t! Instead i went into deep thought, absurd cravings, i mean i ate a banana just as soon as i wrapped up watching the ep.

A banana? Anyone who knows me knows that i loath bananas. But after i took it down, i went into deep sorrow, deep thought. I mean my favourite show of all time had ended, it had left me clueless and helpless, i went back to watch that final ep. again, i did that the next day and the next day and the next day! Until i put all the pieces of my thoughts and revelations together and WOW it feels nice to have finally deciphered LOST!

If you read my previous LOST posts, i was partially right about the purgatory vibe,  it’s just that when they crashed, they actually did CRASH!  ” Whatever happened, happened, ” said Jack and that never changed. That means that the island was real, the experiences they had in the island were real, those who left the island and came back and finally left again, really did leave.

In the 2nd last episode, the candidate. The conversation Jacob has with Jack, Kate, Sawyer and Jin i think,  is quite revealing, he tells them that he choose them all and that anyone of them could then succeed him as the island’s protector.The big question i asked myself was: If anyone of them could have taken over to lead the island then why did they all go to the island? I mean why did he (Jacob) dedicate his life to stalking the oceanic flight 815 survivors, remember how he had instances with all of them before they crashed?

Well, then  i figured out the answer is simple, it was a journey of all the characters. Not one character, just like the LOST writers had kept saying, LOST was always this journey that wasn’t personal but communal. It would make no sense if anyone of them was missing.

I think that when we see Flight Oceanic flight815 finally land in season 6, that was in another limbo-life, what would have happened if they never crashed at the first place. But that wasn’t real as they did crash and they never landed. Do not take the landing in season 6 so seriously, it’s a limbo-life, meaning it’s not real, it’s what is presumed as could have been real.

I will then proceed to contradict myself, the conversation Christian Shepherd had with his son Jack in the church, at the end is most certainly the most defining moment in LOST, well among others including the Ricardo episode. Anyway Christina Shepherd tells Jack that, yes he is real, and that the time he spent at the island was real too, and most importantly the time he spent with the survivors of the plane crash was most definitely real and what was of utter importance   There you have it!

Revelation:

Everyone eventually died, people like Jack, Hurley, Benjamin, Shanon, Jin, Sun, Charlie really did die in the island. Some like Sawyer, Kate and  Sayid lived on their lives in the outside world and eventually died. The reunion at the church was symbolism for a timeless time (Jacks Dad says, there is no NOW here) when all the people who were in the island finally completed their journey of life. They all did not die at the same time,some died way before others , some way after others, tis is evident when Kate tells Jack that, I have missed you so much… she must have died before him. It is also evident when Hurley tell Benjamin that he was the best no.2, meaning their time as the island candidates must have run out and they died,  maybe someone took over after them.

A.M.A.Z.I.N.G!

Top 10 unresolved LOST questions!

LOST is with no doubt going down into the history books as one of the most critically acclaimed and groundbreaking shows of the past decade. The final episode, “The End” isn’t just as literal as the meaning to “end” but also synonymous to the beginning of an end. The battle lines are drawn as Flocke and Jack Shepherd put the island’s destiny into place. The final episode showing Benjamin and Hurley talking about how they served their time as the island’s guardians depicts that, the island still does exist and probably led by another chosen person or maybe it found other candidates, who knows?

Special shout out to LOST writers, Jack Bender, Damon Lindelof and the rest. At least y’all made sure that after the end, we are still left blogging, buying LOST past dvds and spreading the LOST gospel. We appreciate that lots of questions were answered but a can of new emerging questions was left unopened!

Here are the top 10 :

1. Jacobs brother (MIB) who turned into the black smoke, did he ever have a name?

2. Jacob’s real mum, and fake evil mum, where were they from? How did they get to the island?

3. Was Dharma initiative a fail whale? I mean what good ever came out of their experiments? and for whose benefit?

4. Who supplied the food with the Dharma initiative logos from the sky and how did they manage to do that? The gods?

5. Who were the people living in the Egyptian temple? Seas6. and why did the black smoke kill them all?

6. What were the Egyptian artifacts all about? Did they have any significance?

7. What happened when the bomb went off? How the hell did Juliet survive through it?

8.When the Flight oceanic 815 crashed was Sawyer an undercover cop or a real con?

9.Where and how did Jacob get his powers from? What powers did he exactly have? Did anyone who took over guarding the island automatically then have powers?  Did he have the power to give life by touch? Rem the Ricardo episode?

10.Why was Michael and Vincent absent at the church in the end, if it really was a journey of all the characters? At least we know Benjamin refused to attend the church service willingly…

The Lewa Safari

If you ask me, last weekend was arguably the best weekend i have ever had, since i can remember…. Yeah for real. My producer from KBC calls me on Monday and asks, “Hey are you free on Friday? Have you ever been to the Lewa Marathon?”  Well, a journalist’s rule number one, you are always  free! Then he goes, “I am sending you to do a story for Grapevine, ok? Rodgers from Gina Din will call you!” And what do you know? I was xtra excited to get on board! People at my other 9-5 BBC office are like the coolest ever, well our 9-5 is actually somewhat like 10-4 there So i asked my boss to allow me to be away on Friday and he said, “Just finish your work by Thur and go” coooooooooooooooooooool right? YIPEE!

When Rodgers Wabito finally called me, i got the idea that i was going to be among a few other media representatives from several media houses who were going to cover/ spectate/ camp at the Lewa marathon, doesn’t that sound like a whoooole package?

It was finally Friday!! Special shout-out to my girlfriend Louise and my sis Pollyne for the great assistance, they helped me pack my bags on thur evening till 1 a.m into Fri morning! You would think that i was going on safari for a whole week, but lets just put it this way, you would rather carry a lot un necessary things because in them you’ll never miss the necessary!

This was the very first safari i was going to without any of my friends, so i was very careful not to be late. Maybe that’s why I was the first person to get to Stanley hotel where the bus was picking us at 8 a.m, trust the rest of the African timers. And they started coming through, the only other girls in the team,Vera, Chinekeh, Rachael, and the many boys! Out of that whole lot i only knew Rodgers and Elvis the photographer, the rest of the team, i had either heard of them, seen them at several events or never so you can imagine how interesting an experience it was for me.

Departure time was 10 a.m, and no sooner had the bus left than it was song, dance, all sorts of drinks from wine to brandy and mchomgwano, there was even a vuvuzela, i guess it was either Moria’s from Gina Din or The Star’s energy ball of a photographer geez whats his name? The light dude hiding in the pixx. Nway and there was a very loud familiar looking dude seating next to me in the bus, turns out it was HHHassssan Jumaaaaaaa from KTN. In pursuit of pleasantries here and there, he even showed me his national id, his name is actually Jumaa, with the two A’s, he says he is Digo from coast so they have to pronounce it as Jumaaaaaaa! This one is for Marcus and all the other people who were wondering,  LOL

1st official pittstop was at Nanyuki big bar for nyama, that wasn’t its name but goddaymn we sinfully ate, hot ass fat chapatis, viaziz, nyama boilo, then nyam chom, then chicken fried then more nyama, then more nyama and more nyama and the boys kept telling me eat up! When we get there, you’ll be sooo hungry!

We FINALLY got there at about 4 p.m, it was so  HOT, dusty, bright, and busy. All other campers/ fun lovers/ athletes and what a view were busy trying to get accustomed to the place, getting the relevant tent/meal cards and tags. Its then when i saw one of the boys tweeting, and i found out that all this time he was the one and only @Mwanikih, 4 the record he is soooo tallllll! and so coool Here is some photographic evidence, see! and we became BBF’s from then onwards

Friday evening was basically all about getting accustomed to the cold pricking weather,probably lows of around 5 there. After dinner, which was pasta, macaroni and minced meat! In the wilderness, seriously Safaricom,  it was time for the much coveted bonfire P.S that’s a pixx i took of the REAL bonfire!

Now i know that a bonfire doesn’t only emit heat but a lot of stories, bottles of wine and all sorts of alcoholic drinks, laughter, new alliances, hundreds of people of all race and kind and most of all, a special kind of warmth like no other. Despite all that, i was still a tad cold so i found myself singing, “She needs more wood for the fire ….”

It later turned out that there were some dudes of Caribbean decent at the fire, they told me that back in their country “wood” is sheng’ for Penis. I know you all know the song, and that we knew that in it wood must have been used metaphorically but the hell i didn’t know it was penis!? The fire-place makes you drowsy, and its worse when you had been sipping since 10 a.m  so between 11pm and midnight it was tent retirement. For the record each tent had two beds, each bed had sheets, a blanket and a bed cover, one reason why i now LOVE Safaricom!

Saturday the big day was finally here, got woken up rudely by obnoxious photographers whose tent was next to mine at 5.50 a.m, shouting, ” wa wa wa wa wa! checki hiyo sunrise wa wa wa wa checki checki hiyo shot wa wa wa!” I did shout,”SHARRRRRUP!” severally but it seemed like, the more i shouted the more i woke myself up. Breakfast was served at 6 a.m, the game drive car was ready to pick us by 6.30! And at exactly 6.45 i did my standup, at 7 a.m the sun was overhead and the running wild kicked off!

HIGHLIGHT OF MY TRIP!

This annoying white woman was in the same game drive rover with me, Philip Mwaniki, Hassan Juma, Elvis, Patrick Wanjohi and the driver of course et al. Ideally when you are in the wilderness, you don’t need to be told much as its for your eyes to see, she kept yapping back and forth, how she knows of animals, and how her husband is racing, how she had wanted to race but couldn’t because she was pregnant and all that while we were all like BLA BLA BLA BLA…..We got to a certain stop and the runners were passing, then all of a sudden this mama started jumping up and down screaming,”OMG OMG Itttsssssss Niiick!!”   What all the Africans heard, “Aaaa Ssssnaaake!!”

It was pandemonium, geez! I literally jumped to the car’s rooftop, the driver almost crushed into a spring, Philip Mwanikih dropped his headphones in the 70 cms long grass, Patrique was already praying to God, and Hasssan Jumaaaaaaaaa, “Sneki, eti nini? Wapi hiyo sneki? Eti sneki iko wapi?” It took a good 15 minutes for us all to recover from that extreme of fear and shock to wow, that was silly and soo funny! Turns out she was just overly excited cheering at her husband, NICK!

After the race, it was lunch time, amazing buffet in the wilderness, again Bigup Safaricom, then a cold roofless shower under the scotching sun, that felt GREAT, then drinks, then a nap, then dinner, then drinks, then the bonfire, then drinks, then socializing, then more drinks, then the big screen oooh, i think i was too high to even recognize that it was present, then news that Ghana had beaten USA, then it was CELEBRATIONS galore! When i woke up Sunday morning, i had a headache, then i thanked God i was in my tent in my bed, and alone, but i noticed i slept with my boots on, i was without my scarf and earing! Someone later called me, claiming that he had salvaged them, i don’t know how true that is but lets just say that i now know the other reason why they call it the,”LEWA” marathon! Sululululululu! Well, events of that night still remain misty blue but certainly and definitely nostalgic! After breakfast (check out that combo!) we hit the road back, sadly!

In summary, this year the Safaricom Lewa marathon brought together a well organized event of 1,000 runners, 99 co-operate teams of 4 or 5 people each, a nuts media team of 30 or so. You can be sure that the next marathon will be kick ass! Try be there! Special shoutout to Rodgers, Japho, Hasssan Jumaaa, Philip, Patrique and SAFARICOM

BONUS!

Spotted this angels playing with water under the heat of the moment! And bar no. 1

Raymond Vs Raymond

In this decade, hotstuff has become  synonymous to Trey Songz but stop right there! Usher has certainly managed to thrive on and is still up against the emerging R&B sex symbols of this day and age. I mean, he still sounds as sexy, still doing them baby making jamms, he still got the six pack, he still got the dance moves, the  swag, and what’s better than a man aging gracefully? From a devastating marriage, an album flop, the birth of an adorable son, a divorce to yet another new album, Usher sure deserves to be called, “Superman”

Usher’s 6th studio album, Raymond Vs Raymond comes immediately after separating with his wife Tameka, who allegedly tried to break him up with his beloved mama, then hurled insults at him via her twitter a/c after finding out that he had moved on and was dating another girl, nway babymama drama banana.  His previous album wasnt as critically acclaimed as his archival ones but looking in the past, heart breaks inspired ”Burn” and “Confessions” were among his biggest hit singles ever, probably a sign that he strives best musically from personal expression something that is obviously expected in this album. That said, critics foresee

this album going platinum.

I do like this new album, well maybe that’s because i have had a crush on Usher since i could recognize a man’s chest nway seriously, it’s musically versatile, it has some ill hiphop tracks and ironically its not sooooooooo deep Usher style, like oh she broke my heart, its more like, ’Hey, i broke up with my wife, am a dad now, i still sing, am still a sex symbol and i can still command female attention’ its probably why the album is called Raymond Vs Raymond, even he is trying to find that place where the R&B star and dad/ real person meet up, though he says the album title was inspired by the movie Kramer Vs Karmer, you can google that!  Some of the slow jamms and  R&B in it really make me happy every time I listen. It  pays to know that R&B geniouses like Usher are still out there in pursuit of preserving THAT kinda music!

Lets get straight into it:

1. Monstar 5.00

It’s an up beat Usher style dance song, am guessing the video would be quite entertaining. Usher sings to his lover, that he is back to celebrate life and he will be her best nightmare, just how she likes it. There’s a chic in the song mourning in French, ‘on y vas! je t’aime Monstar, juste comme ca, Oui j’aime ca, bien, n’arrete pas!’ If you can read and understand French, then the rest goes without saying

2. Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home) 3.42

I bet y’all thought that Usher was singing to his son that he’s back home LOL. He is singing to his lover about the other Usher who is coming home to play with her, since she has been waiting all day! He teases her that, daddy don’t need to do no flexing as shorty knows just how they do the sexing! Drat! No knocking doors, no bells but daddy will get her wet. Godddaymn Usher! This is certainly the  baby making song no.1 in the album. The beats are funky and easy to grind with in bed or out on the dance floor The video is sick, sexy ass black girls dancing so sensually all over and with Usher innit, yet another reason why he is a feminist  

3. There goes my baby 4.39

This gotta be my BEST track in this album! Deep R&B, relaxed then the way he says his signature, ‘Usher babe, yeah mayne’ He slowly serenades to his lover, telling her how it feels good just to check her out, while she’s putting her heals on… among other things… The songs’ hook, (the repeat right before the chorus) is so contagious, he sings to her telling her that he’s been waiting all day to rock his hands around her waist and kiss her face!! The vocal arrangement, the addlips,  perfect and so sweet for lack of better words. But he sounded like Trey Songz at the songs’ bridge, mmmmh…This is a song for the dudes in appraisal of women and their beauty. I normally put it on replay The video got released only today. Its not all that but Usher going bare chested is ALL THAT! Click here to watch —-> \”THE VIDEO\

4. Lil Freak feat. Nicki Minaj 3.52

This is so G’d up for Usher! Amejaribu. The beats are all hiphop though he sings. He sings to this woman in the club that if she comes with him, he’ll make her his little freak. He sings that he saw some chics kiss in the club and he is about to have a menage! Nicki Minaj alliterationally nails her rap, in which she convinces some girl in the club to go have a threesome with her and Usher saying, ‘everybody loves Raymond’ The video goes exactly how the story line of the song goes, Ciara makes a guest appearance in the club.

5. She dont know Feat Ludacris 4.03

Another hiphop ill beat! Usher singing that she don’t know that she’s making him wanna, the more she’s keeping him from her, the girls is so cold, and she know that she’s so sexual, he wants her body! Ludacris kills it like he always does with his killa rhymes, eg “he’ll be on her like subpoenas served ” Usher sounds like a Justin Timberlake at the bridge, i think his voice is really evolving! This is a club banger for all them girls playing hard to get!

6. OMG feat Will I.AM 4.29

This is another one of my favourites! Its one of those songs that need to grow on you, if  it does, you’ll absolutely love it and will be singing to it all the damn time. Its strange, blasphemous, i mean we are not supposed to call our gods name in vain but you gotta love the Usher/ Will i.am combi singing of how they can love her down, break her down, tear her down. This is  a certified club banger, i like the video its bizarre though i digg the dancing! I like the part with the chics dancing then it is me or Usher tries to pull a matrix? And whatever Will is wearing, the kilt-ish thing, i love it!

7. Papers

If am not wrong, this was his first single off this album and it did quite well. This is a personal song inspired by his ex – wife  Tameka. He sings of how marriage is literally not about popping bottles and parties, everyone has needs that must be reached at half way. It’s so sad when you hear Usher sing his heart out like that, “Who the hell are you, we fight like dogs at 6 in the morning?” He goes on to sing on how he tried to take a chance with love, he turned his back against the world, even his mama but now despite all the love he is ready to sign the papers! Well, am glad he signed them and she did too, the only woman Usher should have married in the first place was me But seriously hope he is happy now..

8. Guilty Feat T.I 3.44

Yet another ill ass hiphop beat! Usher singing to the judge, admitting that he is guilty for going to the club, loving fun and for girls always wanting to show him some love. He pleads with the judge not to take him to jail because she accuses him of cheating but the truth is she doesn’t just like the life he lives as he did not know that all those nights she was in the house crying. When did T.I do that rap ??? Mhhh am curious, having been in prison just until recently nway perfect rap, rhyme, he tells the judge that if  she’s saying that she’s the victim then what is he? If she saying she got proof then he got an alibi too, he gon make her slide through as he also has evidence to how she milked away his bank a/c with all the shoes and bags LOL. I love this one! Another club banger! I usually put this one on replay

9. So many girls 4.36

This is such a contagious floss song and its upbeat! Usher sings about how it feels good to be a star,  he’s just chilling with so many girls, its chillax, champagne, some are Caucasian, Egyptian, Brazillian, he swears he got millions, he just cant decide who to go home with. Its no wonder Diddy does the BJV’S, such a pimp-ish song but all the same cocky and confident! Another replay song.

10. Making love (into the night) 4.36

Another babymaking jamm, Usher really has stressed on his bed prowess in this album. He sings to his lover that he will pick her up, make love till the end of the night, forever and ever into the night if that makes sense. Just for baby making purposes Really a nice jamm

The rest of the songs, “okay” ,”fooling around” ,”pro-lover” this one is even neosoul ,”mars vs venus” are all GREAT tracks that keep in line with this albums momentum, make sure you a listen!!

BONUS!

Raymond Vs Raymond debuted at number one on the US Billboard 200 chart, selling over 300,000 copies in its first week. It became Usher’s third consecutive number-one album in the states and has produced four singles that achieved chart success, including  “Hey Daddy”, “Lil Freak”, “There goes my baby” and the monstar  hit “OMG”

Also click here to watch a vid of Usher’s rise to fame, he also talks about love, (Usher\’s fall, rise, fall and rise)

sure not letting him go!!

We had another fight that last for hours, i am afraid that this might be the last of us, a loss for us. It’s a shame we last this long to give up 6 years, so don’t ask me why am in tears   For so long, we brushed off our problems but so long its solo now! We shrug off and walk away. I thought we promised each other never to sway? Its clear we missed the essence of trust, now I sense a lot of mistrust, even your lust for other women, Ken you are lost among men. Should i find you, befriend you or lend you an ear? I don’t know.

Years gone but now he is gone and i am left alone. Feels like it was a theft, he stole my heart and left me frail like an old woman yet i am young and so i yearn to be alive again, i yearn to earn your respect in this game again, in retrospect make me learn to love you again. I promise it wont be in vain but we will both gain mutually because even you know that we are naturally in sync. See, we are emotionally attached that when we are apart, a part of me can’t detach from you. You are sly but like glue am still stuck on you and I have no clue as to why.

Am writing you this longass letter biting my nails so you better pay attention. As long as I live and breathe,  I choose to fight for us. Not to mention, I know your plane leaves in the next 2 hours and I aint’ playing, today you will see my true colours! I will be at the airport to stop that damn plane if you get on it, you will not leave me in this pain. I pray that you will have changed your stray mind by the time i get there because I stayed with you all the times you let me down. I still shared my all with you, I even let you take me to the malls so we will not separate over small matters mr. smart ass

Do you remember what the pastor said, “never hurt her”, that was last December at our anniversary. I don’t want to be your adversary,please let me be your but your advisory instead. I know that this breakup was my fault and i don’t wanna add salt to the injury so as far as it goes, i take the blame. Do refer to our wedding goals and preserve our flame.

My friends ask me why am still with him, it’s because his name is Kennedy but truth is, he is my remedy. He is my steady energy, always coming handy when am in need of synergy, always coming through with brandy when am in deed thirsty! When am drunk, he calls me feisty, when am back to sober he calls me sassy, when am sad and somber he calls me “your honour” a classy way to let me be the judge, when I burge and bother, he is tolerant and never hasty.

That’s you baby, and that’s why when you want to leave me like today, believe me, I wont let you go! Wish me luck *

The Mombasa mini-safari

So its Friday the 6th of Aug and at exactly midday my KBC producer calls me and says, “Hey young girl (as he calls me) i need you to go to Mombasa tomorrow morning to cover the beach party and be back on Sunday to record the show!”  That right there, was great to hear because am a traveller, i love different places, i love road trips and goddaymmit hadn’t been to Mombasa since i could remember, must have been almost 10 years! Yeah it had been that fuccccccccccking long! Before that i almost practically lived there with my sis, well till she moved to Nairobi nway… that’s another story, another day!

After spending Friday afternoon crazy battling with the BBC’s Topcat2 with  my girl Wanjeri in attendance, we finally leave the office at around 6pm for Nairobi’s downtown to book tickets for the morning bus! Unfortunately we couldn’t do this trip together as she had a must attend wedding for the next day but i sure convinced my cousin Miss JJT to accompany me When we got to downtown, it was certainly hard to get them bourgeoisie buses as they were all fully booked till sat afternoon but we got lucky and got the last seats on the Sat 8.30 a.m Mash bus! Na katika pita pita zetu, some costarian man tried to convince us to take the LOL express, and i was like LOL Express, really? No thanx, here is the evidence LOL, see?

So when i got home, watched kiasi Greys Anatomy, then my 3 year old nephew Chaz helped me pack! I guess he tricked me into jacking my swag, he kept asking, “Hii ni nini?” “Hii ni ya nini?” For almost everything, packing turned out to be kindergarten class till he blackdout, but i love him! See that’s a picture of him and I a few months ago….

Saturday morning at 8 a.m we were in the bus, ready set to go! For the record, if you wanna drive-fly to Coast always take the Mash bus, believe it or not, we were at Mtito wa Ndei at 11a.m! That driver was literally racing against time, geez! I thank God the seat belts were tight and intact! We were in Mombasa just minutes shy to 2pm, Yaaaay!

Now, you know you just got to Mombasa when all of a sudden you see palm trees, temperatures are humid and the sun is shining mild, not as harsh as Nairobi’s! First thing was check into the Coast bus office to book the Sunday 10 a.m bus back to Nairobi then next pittstop was Tamarind hotel.

I decided that we would first take a cab to the famous,”Mombasa Tusks” so my cameraman would take some establishing shots of them, then we would head to the hotel. With the luggage and hunger, all i could think of was food, shower, food and food! We literally grabbed the first cab we saw! I asked the driver to take us to the Tusks then to Tamarind, then the went, ” Huko ni Summerlink basi, hapa hamna Tamarind!” We tried to explain to him that we were going to Tamarind, but he was insisting that it was Summerlink, I even had to call our hosts to confirm whether it was Tamarind or Summerlink (which made me look so silly) and turns out it was the latter, so i decided that he would only take us to the Tusks seeming like it’s the only place he knew well. I said, “Okay basi tupeleke kwa tusks za Mombasa ,” then he said okay hapo ”Tusksss” ni sawa. My cameraman even went ahead to tell him, “pembe za Mombasa” and in no time we were heading there! Alas! But when the cab  stopped and the guy said, “Haya leta pesa mshafika,” we were at Tuskys SUPERMARKET!? That’s when we realized that he thought we meant Tuskys, but we actually meant “TUSKS” hahaha!! After a half scared hearty laugh as the cab guy wasn’t amused at all, we had to further explain to him that we were going to the Pembe za Mombasa! And he went on ranting, “Basi nyinyi watu wa Nairobi hamwongei vizuri, hatupatani” I thought he was going to hit me and Miss JJT, he was so mad i could see smoke coming from his ears LOL. But if we were going to Tuskys, wouldn’t we  have said supermarket then…?? SMDH but that was very funny! I later found out that Summerlink was an uptown street, haha labda tulikaa kama wasichana high class

After the cab guy literally dumped us at the tusks, baada ya shoot we took a TukTuk to Tamarind, Nyali. OOOHHHHH now that was a rocky ride One evidently noticable thing in sharp contrast with Nairobi was THE MEN! Amen! Am telling you, all of them were eye candy-licious! Even the TukTuk driver across ours in the traffic! Ooh that was really great site seeing if you ask me! We paid 600 bob to Tamarind and later my Mombasa friends to be, said that we had been overcharged, ati we should have paid at most 250bob but nway it was worth the thrill!

I had never been to Tamarind… I think the best thing about it was definitely the view of the ocean from the rooms, check that out I also met a couple of friends from Nairobi at the hotel, namely Philip Ogola and Stevens Muendo and oh gosh they are bad news when it comes to partying! (Lets leave it at that) The rooms were quite lovely as well, we showered and freshened up right before the scrumptious dinner! The weather was so pleasant and entertaining, I thanked God i had carried my shorts! Over dinner we met a couple of new acquaintances who we were later to spend the evening with at the party….

When the sun rises as early as it does in Mombasa, it would only make sense for events to start later than usual, if that makes any sense. Maybe the theory as to why when we got to the beach party mins past midnight, the main performers hadn’t started doing their thing. Juliani the first act got to the stage just mins past 1 a.m! It was after 4 a.m when the last performers, Necessary Noize got off the stage! Talk about ku-party hadi chee!

You would think that we would retire after such hard partying, not to forget how Juliani’s performance drains one of energy and the juuuuuuuuuuuuice but , NO! We were checking into Fullmoon club, Mombasa’s fresh baby! As we approached the club,  i couldn’t  hear any “boom twaff” as the custom in Nairobi! I thought to my drunk mind,”why would these folks bring us to a dead club?” My friend, kuingia ndani kumbe ilikua ni bonge la club! Check, the club is soundproof  (i.e the walls are padded like those of a studio) meaning the sound output is excellent, just had to expound on that for those who don’t comprehend! The club has 4 floors, yes FOUR, and all AC’d up! Carni has how many floors again? A letter to Nairobian clubs, having no ac is not an excuse ati because Msa is hot, temps in all clubs are hot! The couch in the club are made of the funky zebra print and 98% of the dudes up in the club were super HOT!!

In summary, the major difference between clubbing in Nairobi and in the state of the art Fullmoon club is: In Mombasa, no ordinary person would go to such an uptown club, well we didn’t see any funny looking person there, unlike in Nairobi where you would still find an Eastlands ”orbb” in the highest of the VIP’s clubs! Then its only in Msa where people on the dance floor don’t actually bend over when “bend over” plays in the club, that was wierd! Eventually, we left the club at “i dont know” time maybe 5.30 a.m there! You know how after excessive indulgence, events that happen therein all become the nice misty blue and for some reason me and MissJJT ended up not sleeping at Tamarind but at Milele beach hotel which was equally amazing! I just remember them asking me to sign in at the reception.

When we got to the room, i blackout (duh) funny thing i was up at 7a.m fresh BUT thirsty as hell and ready for breakfast! The first pixx in this post, i took it while at the breakfast table, that was the view outside! Here are some additional pixx i took that morning at the breakfast table! After that, we packed our shit, took a cab to Tamarind to get my cameraman! I still managed to do a standup (thats me tryna fight the wind! It was like a cyclone) by the amazing scenery of the Tamarind bridge (Grapevine is today in Mombasa nyef nyef nyef, that’s called a standup, tryna school you guys as well) Then we headed out and made it on time to town for the 10a.m bus!

I know it sounded like a good 3 days, well it felt like it but in reality it was an amazing 30 hours give or take! There’s not much to write home about the journey back as it was all nostalgia, nostalgia and nostalgia This post is titled the mini-msa safari because i must re-do that in actual 3 days or more All in all, it was great working & partying  hard in the beautiful town of Mombasa, not to mention i met and made friends with some very nice people! Special shoutout goes out to my girl Wanjeri for the help, MissJJT for the company and msa peeps, Hassan Faisal, Philip, Stevens, Erick, 22, Pharta and Rama! We must do it all over again!

BONUS! That’s me and blood MissJJT love that girl, look at her!!

The Samburu Safari

Around 30 years ago my parents used to live in Samburu…. well that’s just about the inspiration as to why in January 2010 Bunny, my number ONE best friend and I decided to go to Samburu , just to see what it would offer. It was going to be a long ass road trip but I had done worse so I was ready for it!

Wednesday night I packed all my paraphernalia, most importantly my bikini as we had been told by our contact from the hotel that the weather up in Northern Kenya was great and they they had a fabulous swimming pool too! B and I left Nairobi on Thursday morning around 8 a.m and it was a smooth ride to Nanyuki , we got there minutes past midday. Finding an Isiolo jav wasn’t a problem and soon we were on our way there.  Glad to write that we didn’t have any major incidences up to this juncture, well apart from a Taliban looking guy who kept staring at us with red eyes. We got so freaked out Bunny asked him if he had a problem (that was brave of her, what if he had a gun?) then he acted like he couldn’t comprehend Kiswahili, oh maybe he couldn’t? Nway Bunny even called her dad who FYI is the DC for Isiolo, too bad he was in Westlands, Nairobi at that time. We were that scared of that man that we thought Bunny’s dad would send us someone when we got to Isiolo ha ha ha but we made it out safe!

When we got to Isiolo, it was evident that we were in Northern Kenya. The sun was blaring HOT! There were hardly any water vendors, very strange! The stage where we alighted wasn’t the same one where Samburu javs were located so we had to ask around. We all know how Kenyans can fuck you up with directions, but the people in Isiolo must have taken the award for the worst direction givers! The first cab man we asked for directions to the Samburu javs told us that it was so far, we had to take his cab and he would charge us 1000/= bob!  Really!? While the rest of the people we asked said it wasn’t far at all! “Unaona ile kitu ya Safaricom, tembea tu ni hapo mbele” and another one said,”Mmpite hapo  nyuma kwa sababu ni karibu”

I remember thanking God we had carried shades, that sun wasn’t kidding at all! In pursuit of tracing the stage, we passed by the Isiolo mosque and I think it looked too fab, had to take a photo of it  “Hapo tu mbele” turned out to have been an almost 30 mins walk, well we finally got there but so fucking drained, thinking about it we wished we had taken the damn cab! 30 minutes of walking in that sun felt like 20 days in the Kalahari desert wah! I think.

That Samburu matatu really could have been the SI unit for kuchapa, it was really run down and it was the only one. Kinda felt like a deja vu from the “The maasai mara safari “dub dub” bus  LOL” We got there when the one that looked like a mat had just left so we had no choice but to take that old junk. So we got into the mat and waited patiently for it to chrome, then it was full but we weren’t departing azyet because more people were getting into the mat so that the 9 seater jav had almost 15 passengers plus a litu baby boy carrying a cabbage! He was in school uniform and  looked like he would pass for an 8 year old! I saw his dad, I presumed waving him goodbye telling him to go read hard, and then he left, GOSH!

Some idiots brought up an argument with the makanga after having  refused to pay the 150/= fare to Samburu, they were really pissing me off! You know what was pissing me off too? The smell of every other persons stinking sweat in that damn HEAT, obviously deo isn’t a vocabulary in Isiolo!

Well after having burned a good 30 mins, they agreed to pay the money and we finally departed for Samburu, fukes! I wonder why someone would refuse to pay 150/= for a 3 hour ride smh!  No sooner had we left than I realized that the number of miraa sacks in the jav, you know like passengers were almost 20 % to the rest of the occupants ha ha I swear! Half the passengers were carrying sacks of miraa, I understand that one of the main trade commodities to and fro Isiolo/ Samburu is miraa, khat. Someone in the jav was even carrying a crate of eggs and the rest were chewing out loud that miraa! That was a funny scenario! BTW the litu boy carrying a cabbage alighted somewhere along the way and by himself ,I really wondered where he was going as I didn’t see any buildings around L Hope he got there safe nway!

It was quite a rough journey especially from the time we crossed over to Samburu. Apparently the legendary River Ewaso Nyiro separates  Isiolo district from Samburu so as soon as we crossed some bridge, we were in Samburu! When we alighted at the shopping centre which really looked like Courage, the cowardly dog’s county for lack of a better explanation, we waited for the hotel’s driver to come pick us!

The drive to the hotel was roughly some 15mins and just a few minutes past 4 pm we arrived at our final destination! I understand that the Samburu lodge was the first lodge ever to pitch up in Samburu, well am glad to report that old is gold! We were first received by some nice COLD tropical juice, they must have forgotten about the dancers LOL! But seriously first thing I noticed was the bar and the dining area, they were both in open air! Right across the bar was the lovely view of river Ewaso Nyiro, see! So after unpacking our bags in the fab room with a fab big ass net  and freshening up, we went to the bar to have dinner and drinks!  P.s that place is deafening silent, apart from the sound of the water waves and the crocodiles gnashing their bones and meat!

As you can imagine, January isn’t typically an ordinary peak season for tourism, so there weren’t lots of guests at the lodge except for us and a group of white old folks who we saw having dinner that night. We later found out that they were leaving the next morning and that they were friends who had visited the lodge first 20 years ago and they had come back there to celebrate 20 years of their friendship. If you ask me, that was some special shit right there *SOB*

Nway that bar area basically became our joint that whole time, except for breakfast and proper dinner time when everyone had to be in the dining area because of the most notorious food snatching monkeys I have ever seen! There was a guy at the lodge called 78 (only in Samburu smh) who’s job description was “monkey chaser” I kid you, NOT! See that’s a pixx of 78 at work, his work is to chase monkeys and sometimes hit them with the bladder we used to call ”fare” when we were kids, remember? I found out that the monkeys are biologically known as the black faced vervet, google that! Look at this sign at the foot path leading to the dining area! LOL like they would read!

On Friday evening we went for a game drive right into Samburu National game reserve! Apart from the always nice to see big 5, I remember our guide explaining to us a mixed up slutty theory of how lions mate over a long period of time with so many lionesses and if they don’t get food or rather if the lionesses don’t feed them they would die over this period as they never hunt over that period! Well I guess he never knew but national geographic really isn’t my ordinary cup of tea!

I think Samburu is almost as hot if not hotter than Msa temperatures! Then unlike Msa where it’s always hot, in Samburu temperatures start to rise in the night like at 9pm. Then it starts to feel like a 1pm in Nairobi, then strangely enough after dinner and drinks till about 2 a.m, you find yourself up at around 6 a.m latest because the damn birds are probably already singing their damn hearts out loud, or the damn sun is right out at that time thus seeping through the windows. But funniest thing is you never wake up tired even after a night of indulgence, the 6a.m almost feels like an 11 a.m in Nairobi. First thing we had all those mornings was a bottle of blackice for me and a malt for Bunny by our padio before the real breakfast/shower! You wake up thirsty!

Saturday was swimming day, ooohhh that was great there were only around 5 of us in the pool J See some of the pixx we took and yeah that’s just how bright the sun was! After swimming, it was late lunch, shower, nap, bar & bonding, when we saw some 3 HOT white guys arrive! It felt almost suicidal that these blokes were arriving on our last night, so much for any chances of getting to know each other! Nway  in the evening we hardly saw them over dinner, they were probably resting from their trip… #bummer

Nway  we proceeded to the dining area for our last dinner as we were scheduled to leave on Sunday morning! Eating and bumming isn’t really the best combi so I wasn’t much in my eating element! Though Bunny insisted that I had to eat a full course dinner just because it was our last night! So she ordered her delicacies and I had mine, think I was having fish fillet and something! There was an annoying kid on the table just next to ours, that kid couldn’t stop running around the dining, making noise and at the same time playing with food, as the mum kept trying to convince him to eat. That was so annoying because ideally kids should sit DOWN when eating and most importantly they shouldn’t talk with food in their mouths let alone run around eating!

I remember it got to a point when I was too full I almost couldn’t take any food any more but Bunny kept cajoling me to finish the food, just in case I would get hungry later as we were to embark on a drinking plan! I was okay until that damn kid tripped and fell in front of me and vomited his food! Bunny looked at me and I think she knew exactly what was going to happen next and she was like, ”Rosey,don’t! Do not!” I got so disgusted, I was going to vomit too, I could feel it coming so Bunny was like, ”Relax, breath relax just breath”  And I was holding my mouth with my hands just praying, that was scary, disgusting but funny! Lesson learnt, never try overeating next to an obnoxious kid!

Nway Sunday morning we went to the gift shop where I got some lovely gifts for family and friends, funny I got my other best friend Chim, a freaky bird made of some stone then I broke the damn bird’s ears even before I gave him the gift  But he still appreciated, I think. Bunny’s dad was sending his driver to come pick us from the lodge, so as we were chilling for him at the reception the white boys shirtless with awesome sexy tattoos passed us on their way to the dining for breakfast from their morning game drive! Sulululululululu! We hardly heard them “good morning ”at us as we were just staring haha. That was a silly moment!

Nway at exactly 10 a.m the driver arrived, we made  a stopover at B’s dad’s house in Isiolo for lunch then we safely got back to Nairobi in our comfort this time  I loved Samburu, I mean it’s the only place where you get to dine with cute annoying moneys being chased at by a dude called 78 while at the same time viewing cute fat ass elephants drinking water by the Ewasso Nyiro river just across your dining area J  I would do that again! Special shout out to 78, Mr. Karanja and my (BBF) BestestBestFriend, BUNNY xx.

To view more pictures on this trip, refer to my Facebook page (pix from samburu)

Her broken heart

It hurts her when she sinks in thoughts of you, when she thinks of how she used to have the hots for you. It’s too sad that the whole scenario wasn’t for you. Well, a sizable ratio in her still loves you but you lied.

It’s too sad that you are unavoidable, well, she has never seen you since you ran off with your new-found love and left her well dry but ironically she sees you everyday in her dreams. Now she is haunted by you while all that while she was trying to hunt you down.

They say that ruin is her distraction but she knows that its her road to construction. She still loves you, though you steal from her, she still wants you, though you don’t deserve her, but be aware she is still above you because she is now wary of dudes like you.

The Mombasa Bday- safari

I was looking for a nice local place to just run away to with my friends and just have fun in the name of celebrating my 23rd Bday and we all unanimously agreed on Mombasa. As much as it sounds cliché’, so is everything in life so our challenge is to keep doing the same things over and over again but in different strokes.

This trip’s culprits in the picture beside are from far left my best boy Chimano, my best cousin Miss JJT , my best girl Bunny and Ken. Bday was on Saturday Sept 4th, departure from Nairobi Thur night on the 10 P.M bus.

Up until around 9 p.m on Thur, we all hadn’t communicated at all, everyone was having a busy day, well i was at work doing the website till around 6pm then i had to rush home to pack and meet MissJJT on our way back to town, Chim had been in the studio whole day as Sautisol were still polishing up on their 2rd album, Bunny was bumming at home ….

When MissJJT and I got to town at around 9.30pm it started pouring, it was annoying and we were so damn hungry so i called Chim and he said that he was just leaving the studio, if we could get him some food. What do you know? Next pittstop was ALTONA, y’all must be wondering what’s that place, well look for it, the cleanest and cheapest fries in town! On our way to the bus pick up at the Shell petrol station on University way, we met a psychopath dirty man on Biashara Street who was practically chasing after us and we were pulling our suitcases! I almost put the damn suitcase on my head, am a Luo chick nway haha but we eventually lost the psychopath..

We all met at the pickup point a few minutes past 10 p.m and then came the HORIZON bus! I could blog about just the bus ooohhh dont even know where to start! First of all, ALL the sexy Italian men who dont fly to Mombasa take this freaking bus! You know how i live in Eastlands, well i like to call it Upper Easide, and the mats love to beba excess with sweaty ass people’s makwapas stinking, making you choke through the whole trip, this bus was the complete contrast! The men were a sight (the good kind) they made the bus smell so good, ooh how expensive cologne smells yummy, the ambiance just right, the windows had cute little curtains, the seats even had cushy cushions for the extra comfort, what more? They even had a t.v showing Sherlock Holmes and that reminds me of when my friends and I first watched that movie in the theatres, i fell asleep, I mean who sleeps during an action movie, well am special like that!

Sasa it was our first time to travel in the Horizon bus okay, except for MissJJT and that explains why she was the one who recommended the bus! Ushamba, we had carried sijui fries and chicken in papers, sijui pet sodas and crisps, little did we know that the bus even had a hostess and a white steward boy! Haha, sasa as we were eating our fries the hostess came to ask, “Will you have some coffee, tea, and chocolate? We also have soda and snacks if you want…” It’s no wonder the fare to Mombasa was 1,300 so we had paid for the food and drinks why not have them? Heh trust me we had everything, hogging all the way, not to mention we made so much noise for the bourgeoisie people in the bus but what the heck! Just before i blacked out, Mum called me to say, “Wishing you all a great trip, you are all young and should always live to enjoy the moments” I love my mum.

Bunny woke me up when we got to Mtito wa Ndei and we all got out for a little strawl and a smoke, it was quite a chilly night. We were finally on Mombasa’s outskirts at around 5.45 a.m when the hostess woke us up for breakfast, I love Horizon bus and the driver, he was so keen and slow, it’s definitely the safest bus to take on a long trip!

Our friend from Coast the Prez Hassan was sending a driver to come pick us at the Horizon office in Mombasa. Check out that gist, that’s MissJJT and Chim waiting at the reception, they look like they are at an airport. The culprits were so impatient all the time asking me why i agreed to Hassan picking us, they all wanted to take a mat to the hotel but i insisted on us waiting! Well, finally the driver got there and whisked us away to the hotel. No sooner had we gotten into the car than it started raining heavily! Then everyone was thanking me that they didn’t take the mat, in my heart i said “Yeah, don’t thank me now, thank me later *Drake voice*” haha

Our hosts were yet again the infamous Milele beach hotel, well apart from the fact that it’s a non-alcoholic zone because they are a Christian institution and their pathetic breakfast that evidently missed sausages, we really love that hotel because:

• It’s situated right by the beach, so if you get too crazy why not jump into the ocean at night.
• The rooms are too neat and homely, the even had a balcony and so many closets to fit our clothes and alcohol haha
• It has two bigass swimming pools and a fancy pool bar that unfortunately only had chicken wings and soda uuuurgh!

Back to the arrival, here is a pixx of the culprits arriving at the hotel in style, I like Apparently some people hadn’t checked out of our booked rooms so the hotel put us in some cottage that was cool until we didn’t like the bathtub, it didn’t look too good.. But wait, what we didn’t like at all was some loudass gospel music right outside our door, you remember the choir gospel kind of songs sang by like the whole church in uniform like in those funny music videos? Apparently there was some church choir shooting a music video right outside our cottage, now that was a daytime nightmare! We didn’t sleep at all!

At around 10 a.m. when we couldn’t take it any more of the singing, we left for breakfast and to get our rooms. The breakfast was whack but we finally got our real rooms, SWEET! Between around midday to 5pm, we were in the rooms unpacking, just bonding, well except for Chim who seemed to have found a best friend in Bunny’s PS 2! We had planned to destroy that game, look at him! Well, he is lucky it ran outta charge!

At around 6 pm, we left for Msa town to have dinner, gosh we had been starving!! We didn’t want to eat the food at the hotel because it wouldn’t have been any different from food in Nairobi, we wanted Swahili dishes so we had to wait till evening because it was September during the month of Ramadhan so there wasn’t really any food available in town hotels till then!

FRIDAY NIGHT

Wasn’t the hotel lovely? Nway in the evening we hopped into a mat to town and on the way there was drama, this man had gotten in kumbe he didn’t have money so he starts to explain his situation, what!? In Nairobi , you don’t explain anything if you don’t have money in the mat, and the driver said to the makanga, “Basi mwie radhi huyo, lakini msera siku nyingine kama hauna pesa unasema kabla kupanda gari” LOL

As soon as we got to town, we got HORIZON bus tickets for Sunday night and then we were off to Island Dishes deep into Mombasa town…..

The warm breeze and humid air feeling against my skin really did it for me, that’s exactly what I was looking for! The calm on the Mombasa streets was just but a sight, no unnecessary hooting, stealing, well there isn’t any stealing that’s necessary but am just saying, it was relieving to be away from the big bad city!

When we got to Island dishes we were so hungry, we were spoilt for choice! The hot waiter in a white kanzu recommends that we should have Bririani Kuku! Ooooohhh that was ill! Especially with the fresh juice, I had Tamarind and guess what? The juice was just 50 bob! Damn extortionists wa Nairobi! But you never realize how big your kuku was until you have had enough! We got sooo full, we promised each other we wouldn’t eat biriani again in Coast and true to our word, we never!

From dinner we had extensive arguments to what w would do next, i had wanted us to go to Nyali cineplex to watch some freaky Harry Porter-ish movie that was showing, I guess my friends felt indebted to my choice because it was my bday trip, I didn’t know that they didn’t want to watch it, so the bright ones like Bunny and Ken feigned having over eaten and they proceeded to the hotel, the rest well, MissJJT, Chim and our Msa friend Omtere had no choice but lucky for them, my boring movie wasnt showing so we ended up watching Grownups! Adam Sandler is really silly! LOL.

Mombasa theatres are really up to standard, it’s no wonder 3D premiered there, anyway next pittstop was right opp. Nakumatt for drinks to last the night, but how would we sneak them into the hotel that was christian?

After buying assorted drinks, i think we had from everything lethal to my Brandy, as we were javing back we decided to drop off at the Pirates beach and walk into the hotel via the back root just in case the guards wanted to ckeck our bags Mssschew felt like high school! Using the beach as the backroot was the best plan we never had! As we were passing by the beach, we noticed lots of guys having fun chilling and unwinding by the lovely venue, we looked at each other and thought why not chill here? So we called Bunny and Ken to join us while we got seats and tables from some beach boys, who also hooked up the best flavoured shisha from coast!

By the time they arrived it was slightly 45 minutes to midnight, my bday! So they decided to fix some cocktails and it was FUUUUUUUUUUUUUN from then! Well, let me see what i can remember! The weather was soooooo nice and warm, the feeling was sooooooo nice and assuring, that nobody would call to send me anywhere and the likes, the company was sooooooooo nice, d had all my best friends, except for Smiles who is n Germany! I remember them singing to me when it got to midnight, oh they made me so drunk i retired at around 4 a.m and left them partying with some Nairobians we met! Thank God our hotel was 5 minutes from the beach!

I was the first to wake up, quite excited that i was officially a year older, so was my Dad, we share a bday! I didn’t have a hangover, well as much! Bunny had the worst hangover LOL, she never drinks Brandy! So after making everyone wake up and prepare to leave for our drive to Malindi, that idiot bringing our car came at 3 pm, we sent him back! We were not gonna leave for Malindi at 3 pm and still make it back to Mombasa for my 2rd party Sato night! Sooooo… we basically rejuvenated till around 5 pm when we left for town, dinner time! And this time, we are talking SHAWARMA! Ohhh too yummy! When we got back to the hotel, we freshened up, put on our dresses and our Mombasa friend Rama came to pick us from the hotel! I was completely oblivious to what was awaiting me/ us!

SATURDAY NIGHT

Ohh we looked so cute in the dresses and the gentlemen well looked presentable! As we arrive at our favourite Mombasa club, FullMoon (Please refer to the Msa mini safari post) we find a group of chics camping at the entrance waiting for our arrival, am for real.

As soon as we get into the club, we are shown to our reserved table and the girls join us, well not that we had a problem! The waitress came and asked me what I was gonna have and I place MY order! MY ORDER!

Later on, there was a surprise banner in the club saying, ‘Happy Bday Anyiko’ Some of the best new coast artists were performing, for me! I think i shed a tear!  And then there was a very cute pink cake! I am really thankful to my Mombasa friends especially Hassan and Rama for having arranged for that surprise party didn’t see it coming! Some Italian man even crushed lotsa plates on the club’s flor for me, apparently that’s a ritual for good luck mmmh.

Later in the night past midnight, i could still hear the DJ playing my songs and chanting my name and all i could think about was, it felt like I had two birthdays! At the beach and now in the club, well i celebrate for two remember? Later we all split, just like people do in clubs and i think Bunny, Ken and the rest of our friends from coast left for Bobs and i was left at Fullmoon with MissJJT and Chim.

We were really grinding on the dance floor when some waitress kept looking for me and MissJJt brought her to the dance floor and i thought to myself wow yet another surprise!? Well it was a surprise but just not what i expected!! She had a bill worth thousands from everyone who had sat at the table with me, remember as soon as we arrived? All those coast girls! I tried to explain to her that everyone should have paid their bill but she could not let me go, she kept insisting how i had to pay since i was the bday girl and they all said that they were with me! They weren’t with me! I was only with my friends damnit!

We had to take that argument off the dance floor, and as heated as it was kept seeing this beach boy looking dude near the counter staring at me and beckoning me with some crazy gestures! He was really distracting me so we took the argument upstairs, so for starters i sent MissJJT to search for the girls in the club while i footed Chim, Bunny, Ken and the rest of our friends who were at Bobs! We were still left with those girls bill and we never found them so we had to pay! Then at that time, some waiter brings me a letter, apparently from that beach boy looking guy, it said,

“Anyiko, i feel to say that i love you, please lets meet at Bobs, then his no.”

I was with MissJJt then, still semi frustrated at having had to pay those girls bill! As soon as I looked up, I saw that guy coming up to me, i just turned to him and said, “Sorry I don’t love you back! Goodbye” and i left! I never looked at his expression but MissJJT says he looked so hurt He just shook his head!

We then left for Bobs, where we could understand why we had to pay to get into a car park outside club at 4 a.m smh! then town to eat pies, we got to the hotel at 5 a.m and I think we saw that letter guy at Bobs! Moral of the story do not sit on the same table with strange girls from Mombasa  onyour bday! And i just remembered we bought a Viceroy boti and had it on our table at FullMoon, can you believe random people in the club who we dont reckon were just coming to our table and pouring themselves a drink without even asking!? Only in Mombasa! LOL

Sunday came and first thing we went to experience the pool waters! That was fun! MissJJT even made a friend! Later we had lunch for the first time at the hotel then went to the beach for a sleep under the umbrellas, MissJJT and I also took the Camel ride, then later on we all went  for a boast ride with two brothers called Dunga and Dula!

I think their personal stories were way more interesting than the thrill of being in the middle of the ocean on a boat with two strangers! They told us how they were born in Lamu and how they later came to Mombasa after  having made that boat to start their business. They said that we call it Mombasa Raha, they call Nairobi Ulaya because they heard that it gets as cold as in Europe! They had never been to Nairobi and they told us how they hoped that they would come here once, we told them that Nairobi want really all that as compared to the cool coast! They could also speak some Italian and French as most of their clients are from oversees!

They also told us how once in a while they embark deep into the sea where its dangerous, but they go there for deep sea fishing! They said it takes weeks, even upto three at times! And MissJJT should have been a journalist, she was asking them if they had wives and how they survive celibacy through three weeks in the middle of nowhere! And Dunga kept saying, “Noo probemmm no problemm, basi huko ni masterbesheni bora unayo shampoo ya kutosha!” Everyone was laughing apart from me, i am slow at times! Haha at least in coast they masturbate using shampoo, si sabuni LOL! In summary we really made good friends with Dunga and Dula, if you ever go to Pirates beach in Mombasa take the green boat with the Safcom ad, p.s its just the one!

After that fascinating  journey, we had ice cream, went back to the hotel took a nap, showered, packed and left the hotel at around 7 pm for town! Dropped our luggage at Horizon, met my gal from coast Nasreesh and left to Marikiti market for dinner right there in the open! I loved their Shawarma better! I could easily get used to that life, swim, ride and eat good food but it was almost 10 pm and time to go take the bus back! We met our friends Aziza, in the bus! They are an upcoming band from Nairobi, apparently they were also in Coast, small world! Our seats were also side to side, how strange!

Well, apart from the comfortable journey back, i didn’t wanna be back at all! Watched Grapevine on Monday and my co- host wished me a happy birthday,  I felt very lucky to have such good peeps in my life ! Special shout out to Hassan, Rama, East Coast crew, MissJJT, Bunny, Chim, Ken, Omtere, Dunga and Dula!

Hey Dad, let’s have even more parties next year Rest in Peace xx

Letter to Jack..

Dear Jackson,

Inside my heart is a war, besides the hurt is a wall that resides very deep feelings for you, it’s the place I invite the needing you in every way, it’s the taste of your kiss that i miss, its like driving on a freeway with no cars, its like am searching for a leeway but the scars keep holding me back…

I know that its you i love, but NO, I keep running away from you, why do i keep turning my back against you? Maybe it’s because i keep packing my bags after our arguments, maybe i need to augment my fear with trust, so that i can adhere to us and finally fight to win this war…

I wanted to talk to you that night when you left but was afraid you wouldn’t hear me out, so i stared at the ceiling till morning praying that you would call to seal the space but in vain! I strain thinking about you too much since you left, maybe i have been trained by my heart that it wasn’t accidental that we met, please come back…

Deranged lover.

 

 

A LEAP OF FAITH is what we all need…

It’s arguably inherent in all human beings to have difficult times in life, well apart from the proverbial flaws that no one can escape. A shoulder to lean on is what we all need in such times if not a friend or two to help us through but what is most important is the will to make it, YOUR will to make the impossible possible. I have an anyixbaby quote: Obama becoming the president of the USA is the day that scrapped the word impossible from the dictionary, think that quote is self-explanatory.
On days when am stressed out, I take it out on my friends, which is really a bad trait but you can’t blame me, they are the only my punching bags I have, well until i join some sort of gym. But on the good days when I care enough to not be mean to them, I take it out on my brandy. Recently, on one such night I went to the local kiosk to buy some lemons to fix my drink. The man I found at the kiosk did not have any lemons, he then went ahead to give me irrelevant additional information, telling me how i wasn’t going to get lemons at that time of the night. That really pissed me off because I wanted lemons, I had to have the lemons! I didn’t loose hope but walked around to the other kiosks and finally I got the lemons, Yaay! I really had the urge to go back and tell that man who discouraged me that I actually managed to get the lemons but nah, had to have that brandy.

In yet another such incidence, my best boy Chimano  and I were desperately looking for a little Macbook bag, for me! It was one of those crazy HOT Nairobi days when you just wanna strip into a pool but instead of that we were walking into almost all electronic shops in town. The only bag we found was a size lager than what we wanted. I almost settled for it until Chim told me not to. The shop attendant was going to sell it for 1,600/=bob.  He then choose to ignore the decorum of customer care if he had any at all, he went on telling us how we could never find such a bag that we particularly wanted. That really gets me temperamental, someone telling me that I can’t get something. Nway we headed on to the last shop, only to get a similar bag to the one we had just left but the right size and wants more? It was only 1,000/=bob  Chim and I were so tempted to go back to the other shop and just tell that damn attendant that we actually did get the right bag, but we were too tired to go back….

Most recently, I graduated with a degree in Journalism and Media Studies with a major in broadcast Friday the 3rd of Dec, Yaaaay! What you did not know is that I almost failed to attend the graduation ceremony because of a bunch of incompetent University of Nairobi employees. HELB had allocated me some loan that was meant to be disbursed to my account in the course of December. They had clearly stated that they would remit that stash within the month and I had all the official HELB letters but my school department idiots were refusing to freaking clear me for the ceremony! I even wrote an official letter to HELB addressing the urgency of the payment but of course they have and had to follow due process seeing am not a daughter of Ruto or some politician. Well, not that they would help Ruto’s daughter at the moment anyway…

Eventually, I ended up having written sooooooo many letters to my school director, principal, even the VC, yeah Magogha himself. I bet they never read the letters, except for the Principal who at least cared to speak to me, though he didn’t help me much, which was really disturbing because I reckon he should have been able to help me seeing as he was my last resort at that time. It was only a day to the ceremony, there I was having given up until my pal Koigi convinced me to have faith and sort that issue as HELB is a recognized institution and my apparently recognized ex-uni should have been able to realize that. I had to go to the University Senior finance officer, who later couldn’t understand why the peeps at my department were giving me problems with the clearance. He said, “It depends on who you were talking to..” All he had to do is instruct his deputy to write a letter to my director authorizing her to clear me and within a moment I was good.

I kept asking myself, why did it have to depend on who I was talking to? Shouldn’t we all be attended to the same if we are all students of the University? Well, if it wasn’t for the intervention from the finance man I wouldn’t have attended my own ceremony. Not that I highly perceived of it anyway, I was doing it for my mum but when I got there on Friday morning, I have to admit that the feeling was unexplainable, just to see all my classmates looking strange in the gowns, the flashbacks of how far we had come together, I think it was totally worth my attendance plus had a seat tagged with my name, so why would anyone want to miss that?

It could be anything, from a silly kiosk man almost making you miss to have your brandy with lime, or a silly electronics shop attendant almost making you buy a laptop bag that’s a size bigger or even incompetent ISO certified University of Nairobi employees almost making you miss your own graduation for no solid reason, name them…..

The moral of this story is, we are living in hard times. The chances that someone out there will try execute their frustration on you and deny you an opportunity or just try to discourage you is very high. Be wary of such people, never be discouraged to an extent that you fail to recognize those who are willing to help you and give you hope. If you want something, do not let anyone tell you that you can’t get it, that’s because you can (as cliche as it sounds) Obama did, I did it, so why can’t you do it? Never mind going back to those who told you that you couldn’t make it because life is a forward acceleration, just move on.

Lets preserve HOPE, sometimes it’s all we got.
Special shout out to my mum for always believing in me, Chim my sidekick, Mr. J. Okemwa, University of Nairobi deputy finance officer, Bunny, Koigi, Mwendaa and Jay for being my ROCK/s haha. That’s Chim and I on the morning of our graduation day.

In love with the TWO..

I am in love with two different men. Its crazy, its feels like driving on two different lanes on a freeway in pursuit of colliding. It feels like am constantly diving into an endless sea that never left me free. Am I lying to myself  and there is no way out of this?

It’s like am playing need for speed, just that this aint no play station but a real life situation, sometimes its a pain but most times I am praying for a resolution. How do I come up with a solution when I love them both? It’s like a balance, I just row my boat.

Its like sugar and spice, I want to his wife, no. I want to be by the other man’s side, no. I need a little bit of both to complete me, I hate that I put them on a platform to compete for my love. Since the first time I saw them, I knew that I was attracted, turns out I over reacted…

Now the sweetheart turns heart-breaker …

The 8 days of 24 in review

Welcome to the review of the most self-centered series revolving around the staro of the decade, Jack Bauer! Jack single-handedly saves America from terrorists in just one day, well the world if we are talking of securing nuclear weapons that are scheduled to conduct acts of terrorism in other parts of the world. The award-winning and super costly series to produce events occur in real-time. Jack saves the President from assassination, another one from signing a blood shed peace treaty, uncover government conspiracies, just to mention, and all that and more in a record span of just 8 days, lets not even go into the number of men that Jack took down. Lets go!

Best Days!
24  Season 2
This was the first adrenaline pumping season that set pace for the rest of the days!  The successful arrest of a denotation of the nuclear bomb that posed a threat to L.A is the very first major threat and creeps fear into the audience. With the able assistance of Michelle Dessler, Jack and his partner Tony Almeida manage to uncover a conspiracy within President Palmer’s cabinet. Jack avoids the assassination of Palmer in day 1, then a Senator. Day 2 however ends with the president collapsing giving a speech as a biological weapon attack beckons.. That was probably the greatest of  finales i have ever watched!

24 Season 3
The best day if you ask me As cold-blooded as Jack is, he seems disturbed following his wife Teri Bauer’s murder in Day1. Working undercover with drug loads renders Jack a heroine addict. His new partner is sexy Chase, he is also dating Kim Bauer, Jack’s daughter, bad idea. A fact that doesn’t make Chase’ life any easier seeing it’s hard enough being Jack’s partner. The major threat in this day was the Virus. It’s final destination holder, Michael Amador is dangerous and sexy, talk about great casting! I liked the chase of the dangerous and sexy by the sexy Chase. The danger of how lethal the virus would be is a thrill to the audience till the last-minute when Chase attempts to sacrifice his life by attaching his hand to the virus delivery device. Chase eventually has to lose an arm to save his life.  Once again, the day is saved.

24 Season 4
Welcoming the acting prowess of Kim Raver who plays Audrey Reines, really loved this woman. Jack is now working for the Secretary of State James Heller who is the primarily targeted by the Middle Eastern  terrorists led by Habib Marwan. Marwan was badass! The danger in this day is worse than any other as Marwan has a series of attacks in plan and one terrorist attack actually goes down. Before the day is saved, a chinese consul who worked with the terrorists is killed in a shooting battle between CTU agents and the terrorists seeking refuge at a Chinese consulate. The situation draws bad diplomatic blood between China and USA. President Keller’ s plane crash allows the appointment of his vice president Charles Logan as the president. Logan wants to get rid of Jack as Palmer warns Jack in advance. With the help of Michelle, Chloe and Tony, Jack is able to feign his own death and goes MIA for a period of about 4 years. Very disturbing finale.

24 Season 5
The assassination of David Palmer, Michelle Dessler and the death of the ka fatty dude from CTU who used to sit next to Chloe, Edgar is an anticlimax. Jack is accused of murdering his friends. It hurts him that they are dead and then accusing him? Oh no, Jack is back and very mad! He is on a personal mission, to find out who killed his friends and in turn revenge!  Turns out President Logan was behind the attacks in a bid to somehow sway the Russians decision in signing the anti-terrorism alliance treaty, really Prez? The audience is perturbed by the realization after Jack unveils President Logan as having been the villain all along. Logan is finally impeached. Tony Almeida dies- I cried, and cried and cried and cried. Like a baby.

From DAY 6-8
The momentum is on a downward spiral, explaining why the series audience reduced by large numbers prompting Fox to stall another season. I mean how do the writers kill Tony Almeida then bring him back to life? I loved Tony and all, but he should have never come back. Writers already did that with Jack once, so not cool. Bringing Almeida, a good man back to make him a villain ati in pursuit of revenging his wife Dessler’s murder was so uncool. The Tony we knew was better than that! That was serious character assassination.

Wayne Palmer, the late David Palmer’s brother acts a very naive and gullible president, as compared to David Palmer making it feel less appealing. President Taylor and her seemingly shaken family together with her emotions just don’t add up to a good president. All the decisions she makes in the final Day8 are wrong starting with her choice to let the ex-rogue president Taylor be her advisor. Jack’s character is reduced to a hacker in the last day! The writers seriously diverging from the previous life saving days to a day that saw Jack kill people in cold blood, following his lover Renee Walker’s assassination. Jack fights to expose the Russians assassination of President Omar and his lover in time before President Taylor signs a peace treaty with the Russians. Very stupid plot as before Jack would put the country’s needs before his, this last day was all about revenge and cold blood murder. As far as am concerned the peace treaty might have been signed because if anything, blood had already been split. Then Jack disappearing in the end mysteriously is a loop, why? Heroes don’t do that, oh he wasn’t a hero this time, just a guy who had murdered people ruthlessly. President Taylor resigns. That day was more like an apocalypse. Urrrg, bad end.

Most Memorable
1. Chase (Kim Bauer’s boyfriend) sacrifices his life and attached his hand to the virus delivery device. Jack cuts off his arm in an attempt to save him from the bomb explosion.

2. Jack shooting his partner Curtis dead. Curtis attempted to shoot down a terrorist who was responsible for the death of a member of his (Curtis) family. Jack had to kill Curtis in exchange of the life of the terrorist who would later give Jack the info he wanted.

3. Jack killing badass chics Nina Myers and Dana Walsh in cold blood. Nina killed Jack’s wife Teri, Dana played a big role in working with the Russians to fuck up Taylor’s admin and the peace treaty, she proved to be a very annoying and renegade bad bitch.

4.Jack shows signs of humanity when he vomits after killing Curtis. The only time Jack possibly ever vomited in the whole series.

5. Jack torturing his own brother who had information on some nuclear canisters. Turns out Jack’s dad over doses the son (whose name i cant rem) to death. Sad but it runs in the family.

6.Killing Audrey Reines husband, indirectly by ordering the only medical personnel to attend to the terrorist first so they would give Jack vital information that he needed. I think Jack just didn’t like Mr. Reines, he loved Audrey too much to kill her husband.

7. Jack bit a terrorist’s neck and an accomplice of a Russian syndicate’s ear, YUCK!

8.After Teri’s death, falling in love again with Audrey Reines, then Walker… other proofs that Jack was actually human.

9.Cutting out an Russian sniper’s intestines after he refused to give valuable information, Jack retrieves the memory card stick in his intestines, it had information he needed. Jack was bad!

Characters we really MISS

1. Michell Dessler and Tony Almeida (PERFECT combi)

3. Curtis (He was a very cool partner)

4.Chase (Cool partner though agent Ortis day8 completely overshadows his swag)

5.Audrey Reines (Great actress and overly emotional for a day’s occurrence)

Memorable QUOTES:

Start of Day 6 , Jack is running late at CTU. Somebody tells a worried Chloe, “Maybe he is caught in traffic” Chloe answers, “Jack doesn’t get caught in traffic, he walks against the traffic!”

End of Day 4, James Heller warns Jack against pursuing his love for his daughter Audrey Reines. He tells Jack, “You are cursed, anything you touch ends up dead”.

Day8 when Jack calls up his bootlegger dude for weapons. The man tells Jack that he better not show up at his doorstep. Jack answers him, “If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have had that doorstep, now I will there in 10″.

I REALLY LOVED 24, so sad it had to end. Too happy though that it made me man up to action movies. I now really dig the conspiracy types of movies and shit. Long live Jack Bauer who says that if the demand for 24 still ensures and the writers can get more inspiration, with a backing of the productions funding, why not have another day?

Lets have a DAY 9 yo!

#Solfilosofia

Barely three years since they stepped into Kenya’s musical scene and the story has been of the rise and rise of Sautisol! Last Christmas they gave their fans a gift, first album Mwanzo.  Another holiday and the gift is Solfilosofia, the much-anticipated sophomore album that was recorded in the plush Svenska gramaphone studios in Sweden during their recent 3 month-long European tour. The first time Chimano told me of the title ‘Solfilosofia’ I thought to myself, ” quite wordy.” But after listening to the whole album, the jigsaw is complete.

1.Mbiguni 5.00

The soft drums fused in Polycarp’s guitar create an alluring opening into the album’s first song. It’s a story about a girl crying. She is fed up of life’s troubles, a reflection of us at some point. We have all had troubled days leaving us wishing that heaven would come down on us if the world won’t swallow us already. This is an inspiring song, not gospel but very spiritual because deep down, most of us really want go to heaven when the time comes. P.s that electric guitar really kills it at the end!

2.Malikia 4.00

This is the Lazizi of Solfilosofia, a simple ballad. Just like in Lazizi Polycarp’s fancy fingers on the guitar starts up the song’s rhythm, and in the same comparison Delvin does justice to the opening verse. It’s a plea to the undecided girl to come love him, marry him, have his kids. It’s a continuation to Subira and Zosi from Mwanzo. It’s not, ‘be careful girl’, like Zosi or ‘goodbye you were too choosy’ like Subira, but the lyrics have matured to, ‘Its time, just come marry me!’ Perfect dedication to a girl. This one needs a very sweet music video with a solid story line.

3.Coming home 4.42

This one is a classic, no doubt. Afro-acoustic soul meets rumba. The lyrics are deep, we all know of people we love who have travelled far away or even passed away. Everytime we think of the miles away, it feels so sad. The thought of a reunion usually gives us a glimpse of hope. The boys sing about this instance. I didn’t like the rumba bit much, probably because I preferred the first part of the song but then again. Love the cello at the end! So love + don’t like + love= Loved the song! Watch the video now=> 

4. Soma kijana

One of my favourite tracks! First because of the Kwaito sound, it’s so catchy, makes you just want to swing! Then Sauti are singing in unison? How cool is that? Kind of like a very sane choir. The second part of the song is plain Daudi Kabaka. I salute Sauti for making such a classic song, not to forget the powerful lyrics urging the youth to pursue education as there’s no getting younger. Watch the video here  

5.Awinja 5.30

One of my replay tracks. If I wasn’t of Luo decent, there is nothing I would have rather wanted to be as French or Luhya! Sauti make Lunje sound so good! I sing to all their Lunje songs not knowing what they mean. This song is a true indication that music comes from the heart. You can feel the subtle intensity of this one even without the ability to understand Lunje. It’s the first song in the album to bring out Bien’s vocal prowess! I remember the first time I heard this song at one of their rehearsal’s, I shed a tear not knowing what they were singing about. I later learnt that the song is a tribute to all the mamas out there who defy boundaries in pursuit of working hard just so raise their kids. P.s Bien’s mum is called Awinja. Enough said.

7. Nambee 5.35

If songs had sisters then Nambee would be related to Mbinguni. It’s like a pied piper song, you just want sing to it and join the bandwagon. The message is on how people are always fast to rant about life’s struggles to rarely take time to thank God for what he has done for us. This one is more of an inspirational track. Its upbeat tempo renders it fit for a dance probably at a concert, at home or even  in church. I love the first bridge where they do an acapella. Chimano says that, “Avandu vashiri khumanya mwina mukali, ni papa aliye mbiguni” means, ‘We all don’t know but there is one who’s most high who watches over us, He is in heaven’. P.s you must see Sautisol perform this one live, usually ELECTRIC!

8. L.A.D.Y 5.15

This is one of Sauti’s oldest tracks having been written around 3 years ago. For some strange reason the boys never loved it much to include it in the first album. I always told them how nice it would be to have it recorded, so glad that they finally came to their senses It’s a baby making jam by all standards. Bien’s vocals are just amazing, they would make any sane woman fall in love with him if not the song already! The song’s lyrics are poetic and a perfect gift to all the gentlemen out there in pursuit of a lady. The song sounds like something Boyz2Men would effortlessly do! Yes, i did compare them to  Boyz2Men Special shout out to Andrew on that bass guitar!

9. Row your boat 4.15

Polycarp’s fingers mixed in the cello are at it again! Special shout out to Lennart Esbornn for stroking the cello. Chimano’s vocals shine in this one and did he pull an Ayub Ogada somewhere at the start? Inspired by the famous round song, this rendition is a traditional story about a young boy whose father is a fisherman. The boy would like to be like his father. It sounds like a good soundtrack for a movie. I pray that all the big movie producers bump into this one, Sauti kaching’! $$$$$$$ P.s the last 30 secs of the song is plain orgasmic leaving you wanting more!

10.   Sofia 4.40

Why Sofia? Why oh why? My name is Rosey! I wonder why Sauti wouldn’t just use my name or is it that bad? On a serious note, this song is an immediate continuation to the Mwanzo feel. You want to be chilling in your room jamming to this, you want to hear it over that dinner, you must have it in your iPod. And by now, you must have already realized that songs that start with Delvin’s verse are serious ballads! Delvo, thanks. When you love someone then they break your heart and leave you, deep down we always feel that one day, the ones who lost us will miss us and realize that we were the best they ever had. Sauti insist that Sophia isn’t a particular girl but just a representation of us. Those who loved us or hurt us. Nway shame on you Sophia.

11.   Private Spice 3.55

This is proof of their consistent versatility. Another reggae song and is that Delvin chanting at the beginning? It’s simply a song about appreciating life’s little pleasures   Chimano is rapping, it’s sure is the apocalypse!

12.   Sol Generation

Sautisol doing a rock song? A powerful song with a message for the youth to stand up to the opportunities beforehand because they are God chosen soul generation. I really love the bridge, really sounds like something Kings of Leon would do. Special shout out to Polycarp’s hands on that electric guitar and i also want to be a sol generation

Many critics dismissed this album even before its release, something that made me wonder why some Kenyans just want to see budding artists fail or loose stamina. I am confident that they will continue to sour high. I salute their efforts.

This album is different as compared to Mwanzo. It’s not a plateau but a musical journey, one that takes you up and down the hills of different mature sounds leaving you feeling nourished after the gist of the journey’s experience. The album mastering is up to standard, in summary its their philosophy fused in Sofia, remember the girl who represents all of us? Product= SOLFILOSOFIA

Bonus! That’s a pix of the studio where Solfilosofia was recorded! Special shout out to Wesh, Andrew, Peter, Nynke, Bien, Delvo, Ballgum and my sidekick, Chim.

2010’

The year 2010 was by all means a good one and very busy as compared to 2009, felt like one of those crazy but constructive weeks when Friday reaches before your realization then you just blindly chant TGIF. In this case, Thanks God Its 31^ST! Where do is start? We finally got the balls to pass the new constitution which by virtue of nothing is perfect was a very big accomplishment, yaaaay! I see its hiccups as just but mere stepping stones, certain that Vision 2030 is now shaping up well into its achievements. Ocampo definitely bagged the award for having been mentioned the most in the Kenyan news. At first, I thought that it was yet another one of the hullabaloo innuendos, but when he unleashed the #Ocampo6 names, it felt like a preview of justice to prevail. I can’t wait for ICC to take the central role, it’s high time we (as a country) rose above impunity. I start to feel less haunted by the post election violence, hope the rest feel the same. Nways at the end of the day come what may, we must never forget where we came from but we must let go of the past and move on. After all, the mistakes are meant to make us wiser.

Moving on from matters less patriotic to my favourite topic, narcism: I had a fabulous 2010! Gosh! From the Lewa trip weekend (Click here to read the Lewa post) to my birthday getaway(bday post) to my graduation (more on that) etc. For all I cared, my Christmas came  in October, my Santa being my own lucky self. I won my baby smart phone in a singing competition, YES! Ask James Murua, he is my witness. A few weeks later won me a macbook laptop at a gala dinner. In sheer luck my name was randomly picked from a list of all the guests who had attended the event, if that’s not an early Santa, then what is? Now to matter luck unrelated, celebrated one year since I joined Grapevine, yaaay! I think that’s cool. I got my freelance contract with the BBC which marked the end of my one year long internship! By virtue of the 6 degrees experiment, I met Y’ossour Nd’our, when I met his buddy Baaba Maal during his Kenyan concert which I coordinated, I  also met and interacted with the legendary Literature guru Ngugi wa Thing’o at the Kwani Litfest which was really cool. It gave me hope that one day I may be very prosperous and as humble at the elderly genius whom I learnt from a lot including the importance of preserving our African Cultures, more specifically our traditional languages.

Onto matters less rosey, well almost got arrested if not shot at, in the Nairobi National park during a park party that we held there. I accidentally rammed into someone car while taking u-turn. The KWS guards then accused me of a hit and run. Oh save me! Which idiot would hit and run in the park? I think you would still be bound to get caught, I honestly didn’t realize that I hit the car, it was just a little scratch on the other car. All that man needed was stash to buy a rubbing compound which I sorted. Nways they must have gotten the kicks outta my shaken face, hahaha one of the guards said about me, ”Huyu ni wa kuuliwa tu” Ok.Not funny.

Lesson Learnt: Stay away from Park policemen or wardens, whatever they call themselves! They are as wild and heartless at the park animals and always at the service of fucking up park parties. Still very bitter at the harassment, I need to let go of that…

It’s a bit sad that there aint no relationships talk all through, that’s because my heart has been far far away with someone who is miles away… It’s NOT a long distance relationship, more like a connection that never blossomed but we try to keep in touch and be happy with each other’s lives and all… It’s actually kind of cool. Guess am still very legible

I would blog and blog and blog about 2010 but I choose to dock off. In a nutshell, I really loved 2010, am gonna miss it and I promise myself to work harder to have a bigger and better year in 2011. I want to venture even wider into my career and others. Hope to venture into more holidays thus money making projects, I want to form a hobby out of visiting Children’s Homes, I love kids. Have to identify one home so I don’t end up homeless too, LOL. In summary, let’s just say, I wanna do that which I can but haven’t yet. Also recently bumped into Dad’s library so am gonna be reading a whole new  load! Currently reading The Trial of Jomo Kenyatta by Montagu Slater. BTW It’s not as boring or cliche’ as It sounds…

2010 Lesson leant: When it’s fun time, have it in (fully fully conditioni) When its serious business, don’t let anyone put you down, don’t miss on an opportunity at hand  (by grabbing them), learn from your past mistakes. You can achieve so much in a year let alone a day so we must be open minded and assertive that 2011 is the year of kicking ass!

Special shoutout to my friends who gave me hope in one way or the other: Bunny, Chim, Saar, Wanjeri, Jude, Koigi and Anto. Heart y’all xx

It’s better to fail and having learnt than having to regret a decision you should have made (#anyixquote)

Some drugs will mend your heart…

You are like a drug, you talk to me and drag me to ecstasy! The fantasy keeps me going not knowing when i will have you next, I keep waiting for your text, just that goodnight is what attests to my patience. I detest your absence because i go thirsty and hasty. I loose my temper then i remember that just your voice takes all my troubles away! I know its addictive but i love it your way…

You are like a drug, you kiss me and soon i miss you again! It’s like a game we play and the rules remain that i cant get enough of you! You are my main dish, kinda like a 5 course meal but with a cause to quench my hearts needs. I want you all the time, at night when we dine i cant wait till you pop the wine and kiss me! I know its addictive but i love it your way …

You are like a drug, you hold me and my whole body feels electrocuted. It’s so real, kinda like something rooted deep beneath where we stand. It’s not a stunt but i would like to be with you forever, just a mere ambition on my ever-growing list but baby I don’t wanna miss a chance to live this eternity with you! I know its addictive but I love it your way …

You are like a drug, you whisper in my ear and I trust that my fears will wither away. The warmth of your breath on me feels like a war in my heart, how can I be that smitten even 4 years later? The kitten you go me is a reminder of the power of  little gestures, it’s an hour drive to my office but everyday you pass by just to say hello! Its a hard instrument to get but i got you the cello, just because I know that you love it. They said that drugs would break my heart but you mend my heart

Grey’s Characters we really miss…

1.Dr. Preston Burke

He was dark, handsome, tall and the best cardiothoracic surgeon in Seattle! Burke however seemed to always be distant, the kind of man who you would never know what’s on his mind. His devotion to his work is very attractive and it’s what makes Cristina, the hungry intern for knowledge on cardiothoracic surgery fall in love with him. Their relationship goes through several rough patches, from Cristina, the workaholic having to settle for a relationship to Burke’s tragic accident, when he is shot on the arm in an incident right outside the hospital. Burke’s arm never heals completely and he is unable to operate with his right arm, this situation breaks him down. The last of them is when he eventually stands up Cristina at the altar after she hesitated to enter the church on their wedding day. He eventually leaves Seattle Grace. Word went round that he went on to win a prestigious medical award at a different state. I miss Burke, I feel like he was destined for big and better things in the developing story. He had a very strong character, un fortunately he fell out with one of the actors on set and the series had to fire him to avoid bad publicity.

2. Dr. George O’Malley

He was my best doctor ever! He came from an ordinary family that never believed that their Georgy did become a doctor! George was just a great person, a loyal friend, he had a pleasant character though sometimes overly emotional. He had the hugest crush on Meredith, ended up marrying Dr. Torres  who divorced him after finding out that he cheated with his best friend Izzy who was at that time not in her clear mind, literally she had a brain tumour. In seas 6 the introduction of Dr. Hunt is the beginning of Georgy’s end, Hunt convinces George to leave Seattle to go become a doctor at the military. George leaves hastily and misses his own farewell party when the rest of his friends were planning to cajole him to stay. Later that day, a man who was badly injured and completely disfigured after being hit by a bus trying to save a girl on the streets is brought to the hospital. He undergoes various surgeries and doesn’t seem to be doing well.  One night when Meredith was checking up on the patient, she noticed that he was trying to communicate using his hands. Meredith decodes a hand sign that George used to love and realizes that the man was George! She breaks down and calls the rest. George starts to code and despite efforts to save his life, he finally dies. You think his friends cried? I cried the whole night, haven’t cried as much since Titanic, LOL. George has asked the writers to depart the series, but did they have to kill him so tragically? That was just heart wrenching and by far the most dramatic and saddest season finale! Most of the fans even thought that the writer would introduce another George, with a different face since the accident messed his face but that never was. Goodbye Georgy

Dr. Erica Hahn

She was annoyingly authoritative but at the same time you had to love her for being the only other cardiothoracic surgeon to stand up to Dr. Burke, in addition she was lesbian! We all need a little spice innit! The most memorable Hahn episode must be her introduction, when Dr. Burke flies to her hospital in a different state to get her patient’s heart for his patient whose life was on the line. Hahn on the other hand did not want to give up the heart. Chief Webber later employs Hahn at Seattle Grace and she saves the day when Burke gets an accident. She has a fling with Dr. Torres that never really flourished before she leaves Seattle. Yet another very strong character killed, yuck @ the writers!

Dr. Isabel Stephens

I think she was annoying in soooo many ways but now that she is gone, I miss her! What was most outstanding about Izzie was her beauty, a broad with brains is usually a good combi! She is the doctor who can’t keep her mouth shut, moreover she is the most spontaneous of all. She falls in love with a patient, Danny Duquette who proposes to her right before he dies! She is later haunted by his memories after he lives her millions of his fortune. Izzie uses all that money to start a special medical ward at Seattle Grace called The Danny Duquette memorial. She is later diagnosed with a brain tumour after marrying Dr. Karev at the height of her ailment. She later becomes distant and falls out with Karev, they divorce and she eventually quits the whole being  a doctor vibe. Looked like a diminishing character to me.

We really miss these characters, a miracle would be their recurrence which is highly in doubt!

The WRITER …

I am in love with a writer. Just like my favourite waiter, I love his service. Like a silly girl am nervous and I don’t know if its right that I fell for a shy man. See, his captive style of writing is sly but it’s what draws me to him. I am attracted to his ability of expression that not even any distraction can come in between me and his story. He is sorry that he forgot my birthday and so he got me a red rose. Like good food is the taste of his prose, I would be a fool not to cut to the chase.

I am in love with a writer. Just like my favourite fighter he kicks ass. Never in need to show his muscles but instead quick to heed his calling to show me his tassle of talent. He once wrote a story about a certain cooking ingredient that sets emotions blazing, he went on that one must learn to be resilient in the kitchen, i later found out that it was one of his LOVE pieces, convenient yet radiant.

I am in love with a writer. Just like my favourite all-nighter, i clutch his book close to my chest at night. At brunch am still nibbling at his use of words, like a baby on the mothers breasts am totally hooked. My date mistook me for a snob but he never took the time to understand what i wanted. It was to be rid of the haunted misconception about writers, that they are a load of introverts. Like an advert that’s just a mere perception.

I am in love with a writer because he is the inception of ideas…

Fashion High Tea

No sooner had i stepped into the city from The Lukenya safari last Friday than i got the call from Mr. Producer,  “Young girl  you are going to cover the fashion event tomorrow, so you better have prepared! ” That was cool, I thought to myself. I love fashion + my girl Wanjeri, was going to working there too, she is a writer with Urban Perspective (UP) pull-out formerly a magazine, which was part of the sponsors for the Fashion event.

That Friday night, sleep didn’t come easily. Couldn’t find a nice dress, even worse I didn’t have any HAT! I mean who has a HAT anyway? Unless if you are the duchess of something?  Contacted all my fellow fashionistas, MissJJT, Alicia and Louise, they all didn’t have HATS!

It was Saturday morning and still didn’t have a HAT! My big sister happened to have gone to town early that morning and on her way back made a stop at Maasai Market. At the verge of  a breakdown, I got a call from her, “What colour of  a HAT would you prefer?” and the rest was history

Made it to the office by 1.00pm to pick my cameraman and the driver did his usual magic! Around 2.30pm we were checking into the exquisite Zen Garden and immediately I thanked God for my HAT! All the ladies looked amazing and HOT in various HATS.

As soon as I got in, it was like a reunion with my baby Wanjeri. Trust me, this is the kind of place where you want to at least have a partner to marvel with. No reaching into your hand bag un necessarily to remove the dirty bills that you have accumulated in your purse from the matatu change to buy a drink, NO. All the drinks were in the house, so was the food and loads of goodies.

Does this sound like heaven? Wait, the real deal was the Fashion Avant Garde.  I loved the print coloured little dresses, goodbye LBD (Little Black Dress) and welcoming bold and assorted colours! The HATS that came in all sizes and shapes. 89% of the gentlemen were graciously groomed and had the looks to complement it, quite the sight-seeing for me and Wanje

If you watched O.C and Gossip Girl, this sure was a scene out of those socialite parties, kisses in the air, pleasantries everywhere, poses for the cameras (the photographers sure had a field day that was officially the first big photography event of 2011, they must have pixx to last them till September!) champagne and wine in plenty, savoury delicacies as air high as the waiters trays, from smoked salmon & cream cheese bruchetta, calamari rings, gloss pinacolada, assorted sushi platters to dosaja Danish pastries, just to mention. YES! All that is ACTUAL food, haha don’t worry I must have eaten half those things and didn’t even realize what they were. Let’s just say, I tried as much as possible to serve what looked edible

The whole time, I was up and about trying to guide my cameraman as to what to capture and not while the same time trying to find me something at the Fashion exhibition where there were loads of regalia, from silver & African ornaments to shoes and dresses that were a tad costly! I particularly feel for a silver funky/chunky necklace that was retailing at 3,200/= I really tried to bargain but the elderly white woman who was selling them insisted, “My price is FIXED!” She was actually really nice to me, I got her card so am just gonna rob a bank in the course of this month so I go to her house and get all those damn necklaces Wait, she should have just sold that necklace to me for 2,000/= now am gonna commit a felony! P.s do white people ever accept bargain?

Inside I came across one designer who makes clothes from recycled parachutes. I thought I saw something like that at the FAFA last year so I asked her, “Were you also showcasing some of your designs at FAFA, I might have seen something of the sort” She shot at me, “If you stayed for the whole show then you probably saw me and my designs!” WOW. Of course I looked like I wasn’t going to buy the exorbitant parachute dresses but Mrs. designer, you didn’t have to be that rude. Honestly I wouldn’t even buy those things. I am more of an afro-centric enthusiast when it comes to Fashion. So I moved on to these gems, earrings made out of bird feathers. The gist of them is you can wear one by itself or both but wait a minute one earring was going for 2,750/= what the fuck is that? For a feather? I specifically took the picture of them so I can start making my own feather earrings! Geez! I am also currently looking to buy beautiful birds with parallel featured feathers. Anyone tip me!

Before the fashion show I finally caught up with the multi tasking  diva @Makosewe for  a short interview right before we sneak for  a picture! Oh did i mention, loved her deep blue YSL dress which had matching velvet shoes, should have taken a photo of them damn! A staggering 97 % of all the event attendees lived up to the High Fashion dress code stipulated.

BONUS: All the event tickets sales will go towards supporting women in need of freedom. As of 91/1/2011 more than 40 women and babies have been detained in Pumwani hospital because of inability to clear their hospital bills! In the words of True Love Fashion Editor and also the event Co-coordinator, “People have been giving out in so many ways and it’s the same every time, we tried to bring in a different kind of twist to it, Fashion! I am glad that the event was totally sold out for a good cause”

Well, I am glad that I love my job and that I now own a bigass blue HAT  In anticipation for the next Fashion event to outdo Fashion High Tea, in all the semantically possible ways!

Special shout out to Densu, Laftone, Wanjeri, Grace Makosewe, Pollyne and all the HOT men in attendance!

In LOVE with the ART….

I am in love with the art of writing because just like a sweet biting it serves me with little pleasure. When i am under pressure, i take my brittle pen and jot down my frustrations, it’s normally the end of my desperation as i formally kill any anomaly thereon and proceed to a place of peace and serenity, a heed for integrity.

Like a surprise birthday party every time I write a poem I am left on an improvised high. I rely on that sugar to take me through the day. Like a smitten cougar am never too old for the literature, if anything it makes me younger. I get stronger by the ability to turn to the art when am in turn burned and bruised. I not only get excused but amused.

I am in love with the art of writing because it is the purest of all forms. Like a deadly storm in stands out from all the disasters of life. It never lies like the words of a broadcaster but always tries to redefine expression. In aggression, it is our utmost use of spoken word that we hide our true feelings. But in dealing with it, some sort to the art of writing.

Bitter-Sweet …

Like a train wreck, it’s hard for me to get back on rail when you hurt me. I cry in the rain hoping to wash all the pain away but at the end am like a stray dog looking for love in all the wrong places.  Little did I know that out of all the faces I have met yours is the one place for me … Like a cat and mouse chase is our love, a jigsaw.

When I saw you with another woman it broke my heart, my brother warned me of you but like a bad disease I can’t rid my heart of you. I can’t resist the sound of your voice, It’s like a fresh breeze in the midst of the madness, your eyes are a mystery to be resolved. Your touch makes me dissolve in your magic and the rest is history.

The story thickens, I am sickened of the fact that I still love you despite your faults, I still have you in spite of the falls and stumbles. You somehow still remain humble and honest, maybe a reason why I am unable to destroy our little nest. You however test my patience, I mean every time you get undecided. Now I want to know, if you were to make a choice, who would you rather be by your side?

Inside my heart is a stone so hard that needs to be broken, the one to break it must have the secret token which I think you do possess. In the process I have taken in a lot of consideration in the duration that we were separated and figured out that I am more frustrated when you are away. Like Mary J, in a twisted way I would rather fight with you than be without you. I might be making a mistake but that’s life, all about risks.

Like a quick fix we need each other on a daily dosage. It’s like you held me hostage, just that I am a willing captive who surrenders to your evil deeds which  fit my rare needs. Like a good show we need not adhere to the written script of our story, but that which is clipped on our door every morning saying, “sorry I pissed you off last night” Its heavy but If I kiss you every time we fight this bitter-sweet affair might survive the longevity…

 

 

 

 

 

Late Nights and Early Mornings…

Re- Introducing the songstress, Marsha Ambrosius, from Floetry. I first heard about her solo debut from #myown music dictionary Macharia Glad to report that she is plain awesome and by all means among Rising Icons. I have since went an extra mile to give a listen to her mixxtape, ‘Yours Sincerely’ which has great tracks among them. YouTube them, NOW!

I have literally had late nights/ early mornings gripping on the 13 tracks of ‘Late N & Early M’ since I got my hands on the album fresh from the March 1^st release. What defines Marsha is her sultry vocals and raw lyrics. She is additionally deep, sort of like a representation of all the things around love and relationships that we really feel and would want to spat out but we don’t. If Marsha was a dude, she would be semi-closest to Maxwell in deep extents.

2.With you 05.00

This is a very good entrée into the album, raw to the core! A true babymaking jam! She sings about how she just can’t wait to get down to business with her man. 100 miles an hour? She wonders how fast he would want her to go… You really need to be in a relaxed mood when listening to this one, you will then realize that the song is sort of like a musical love-making experience. When the song ends, she even makes a loud orgasmic scream, this woman!

The 3^rd song is album titled. Late nights & Early Mornings has that sexy feel of Ciara’s “Promise.” The story continues from where “With you” left. The morning after the late freaky night, she promises to still keep it up, if he lets her she can still give him good love all night long. And the sexy vid 

4.Hope she cheats on you (With a basketball player) 04.00

This is a serious bile song. The perfect dedication to the Ex who left you high and dry after having took you for granted. Marsha sings to her estranged lover that she is a little bitter about his new relationship, she hopes that he remembers how their sex was so good, he will probably need Viagra to keep it up without her! She now hopes that his new girlfriend cheats on him with a basketball player. When a relationship ends bad, you know you wish your ex these sort of things if not worse! Super replay track!

5.Far Away 07.15

Replay song ! This is a story of late realization of how much a loved one meant to you. She sings that if she knew, she wouldn’t have come home on that Sunday morning, because she found the cops at home to tell her that he was found alone in an empty room. She was the one to identify him, as her baby… She wrote this song in connection to her gay friend who committed suicide following discrimination. This is a special dedication to the loved ones who we lost in one way or the other since they are now far away. True R&B with a cause Far Away Vid

6.Loose Myself 05.00

I really love this one. It’s just a story of how sincere love is until you meet someone who has ill intentions and makes you hurt. She sings about having to be selfless despite the fear of failure. Despite the breakups and heart breaks, at some point we all want to lose ourselves in love.

8.I want you to stay 03.45

Neo-soul. This is the kind of song that would feature on the Soul lounge artist spotlight… It’s definitely your iPod playlist material. With a Michael Jackson ‘Stay’ feel when you hear it, you will appreciate it.

10. Tears 02.50

This is so ‘Misty Blue’. A story of a grown woman who is not afraid to beg for him not to leave. A perfect dedication to an ex partner who you want back. The kind of ballad to hear over a wedding anniversary dinner or something like that just to remember how far you have both come.

12.The Break up Song

I love the song’s simplicity. It’s just a good vocal arrangement and the piano. Not much left to do or say as it’s over is all about it. The perfect break up song when you know that it’s completely over and the differences are irreconcilable. Sigh.

13.Butterflies

Neo-soul, incarnated. You can feel the Floetry in this track! I especially connect with this one because I am the queen of crushes! You know when you have a crush on someone, just the thought of them gives you butterflies.

BONUS: Marsha has since been nominated for two Grammy’s. Watch a video of her live performance at Grey Goose’s Rising Icons. Enjoy! 

GLASS…

Like broken glass is my heart since you left, shattered. I keep a lot of things to remind me of you but they are just clatter, maybe it’s time to let it go. Maybe it’s time I let you go. Like a shopkeeper who hoards but never sells, is my love for you precious. Every time I listen to Marsha Ambrosius, I think of you, so foolish but at the same time am so serious like a finders seekers rules!

Like a clear glass is my love for you, sincere and see through. Even when I don’t hear from you for so long, I still remain true and hopeful. My main aim of writing you this poem is to let you know that you may be billions of miles away but I am a poet dedicated at swaying you by writing you millions of words just to let you know that I am still insanely in love with you …

Like exquisite glass I am fragile. I glide though carefully hoping to slide through back into your heart. I sigh from the fact that you were once terribly in love with me while I could afford an ounce of doubt in you. I might have made some decisions hurriedly, in my defense it is in these times that we get carried away easily but babe don’t leave our love buried out in the cold.

Like an ART restore me from the broken glass. Release me of the hurt and in turn I will forever play your token of appreciation. I have taken the tears I have cried into consideration, I see them as having been a river into your heart’s admiration. Like a homeless child I shiver in your absence, this is my plea for an invite into your heart’s presence again…

Dear Mr. Man,

I am breaking up with you because it’s no longer working for me. You are like a dog always barking at me while I am the crazy bitch always shouting at you! You are the one always doubting me and my motives while I am the one who was always active in the relationship, quite the daunting task. Like a man behind a mask, I don’t know who you are any more, like any normal girl i cant trust you any more ….

I am not changing my mind this time because I am tired of arguments ranging from “he said, she said.” That night my heart sailed away when you hit me for no reason while you are the one who was wrong. It hit me because I read the emails she sent you, I bet you didn’t know that I had your Gmail, well what do you know females can wail but also investigate very well ….

I am not taking back my love from you, keep it. When it’s cold at night and you can’t sleep without me, sample how deep I meant to you, for example try find someone else to be with, oh hell she won’t please you like I did! She won’t release you from your stresses like I did! Most definitely it will not be what you envisioned, instead she will imprison your heart not like I did in love, but in mistrust ….

I am giving you good loving one last time before I get with the leaving program. So tonight have this diagram in your head, that I will be giving it good to you. I wanna be mean to you but I will also miss you when am gone, so before I set on this journey alone, honey I mean to have this last celebration so in anticipation am taking a shower, will be expecting you in an hour….

I am sitting here crying because I love you, I keep trying to be with you but you never change instead you keep prying into my life, instead of fixing yours. I can’t keep mixing Love and Hurt so although you don’t want to, just let me go. I am nervous because this is going to be our last night together, anyway of course I will wear your favourite lingerie in respect of our camaraderie ….

See you when you get here!



The L Word

Post Co-written by my soul sister,  Wanjeri of www.wanjeri.com

Love should be like pizza, it’s all about sharing!  If you are in a business of caring you must throw a piece at your partner. If you wanna show some generosity share it with the gardener too! Out of curiosity feed your lover a piece of the delicacy, in intimacy have them feed you back! Feel the need to share together, see the seed of Love grow to maturity entirely in purity!

Love should be like the sea, vast! It’s the mast that sails your boat to stay afloat. It’s a must that if you drown , let it be your soul saviour. Do not frown, it’s not a bad thing to fall in it, just answer the call or dial SOS. It runs deep and there lies so much life in it, if you are keen you can derive so much pleasure in it, a Love that has no measure!

Love is like a blanket, warm and cozy! It’s the rosy life, no need for a life jacket. It covers your whole body from cold, when you are under the covers there lies no hurt or harm. It never gets old; into its loving arms you can always fold and cuddle. It takes two to tangle, that way it makes you unravel the mystery of Love leaving the rest as mere history!

Love should be like Tiramisu, just enough! After a rough day, you just wanna have a scoop of it, just by a look at it; you should want to have it! It’s an avenue to satisfaction not a venue for dissatisfaction. The biggest fraction of its pleasure is derived from simplicity. Learn to arrive at the Love function with the capacity of quality, not quantity!

Love should be like music, a universal language! No baggage but a special package. The receiver knows no deceiver but only one thing, that he is a believer! It’s well crafted words floods your heart with happiness and nothing less! It’s not about a perfect dance but an instance of taking the chance with a Loved one to last a lifetime. It doesn’t cost a dime or matter how you look, you just don’t give a damn!

BONUS! “True love is about your partner’s happiness, Fake Love only wants your partner.” Paulo Coelho

The art of Art writing

I had a very very interesting day today! Well, thanks to one Gor Soudan, I got an invite to an art writers workshop at the Kuona Trust offices! Sounds wordy huh? I know, I feel so superior right now LOL nway am kidding… The workshop was facilitated by New York -based writer, editor, curator & art blogger Marina Cashdan, trust me you can go ahead and google her! She is really a super cool woman whose life revolves around art and art and did I say art?

I am no art writer but yes I do write stuff that actually get published   However, that’s not to say that art is not a fascination that has always haunted me, the good kind! I always find pleasure in viewing art pieces/ exhibitions, because every time I see overly artistic/ strange things or a certain abstract art, I marvel at what the artist who created it must have been thinking, what could have inspired them? I marvel at how they find a lot of intensity in the simplest of art, like just a picture of a sunset but a whole load of stories to tell behind it.

I have then concluded that because I have the ability to appreciate art and to write all the same, why not merge the two? Its however not as easy as it may sound because like any other form of writing, art has its inherent rules. You have to know the art, must have seen quite a diverse lot and actually be able to differentiate between the materials used and the different messages probably passed in different forms of art.

In summary, I learnt that art writing is very subjective. You can’t actually state that the art is X or Y. Art can never be black or white. However, you must state that you see it as X or Y. Do you get the difference? As an art writer you must be able to clearly pass the message that it’s not definitive of how you see it, moreover describe the feelings the art invokes in you, relate them to the outside world, learn more about the artist’s profile, where they live, when they were born, what sort of materials they use in their art and why? Merge all that to create a story that’s wholesome. I know it sounds so complicated yet so simple.

I think the biggest challenge for an art writer is to actually be able to communicate through to different audiences whether or not they are art enthusiasts. A lot of art writers have a tendency of making their written pieces an art by itself making the reader get lost in the texts even before looking at the actual art. A good art writer does not engage so much into the art jargon but instead breaks it down for the reader to comprehend and see the art through the writer’s eyes. If by any chance the reader fails to agree with the writer, the better as that would make them actually get out there and go see the art for themselves.

After the session, I felt inspired to actually walk around the Kuona Trust workshops to visit the various artists at their work places & get a gist of what goes on through a writer’s mind & boy wasn’t that a good idea! I literally had a field day! Among other artists,  I met Cyrus Kabiru, a shy but overly talented artist dressed in a funky old grey overall that sort of depicts a scenario of ,”Twende Kazi!” Cyrus refused to tell of his age but one thing that would definitely remain ageless is his eye wear antics that BTW have themes and are just awesome! If I were a musician I would hire all his shades for the funkiest video shoot to ever hail from this side of the Sahara!

As I walk into a different workshop, Yassir Ali, a Sudanese freelance artist is sitting by his messy and artistic table taking a smoke. “Shall I come in?” Of course, he says with a smile so inviting. Having fled from Sudan in 1995, he has since found a home in Kenya. Ali is now married with kids and says that art is more than a career to him. It doesn’t only pay all his bills but satisfies his heart’s love, to paint. Most of his paintings are the Nubian culture inspired. He tells me that creating an art starts with an inspiration, mostly developed from a sketch that he later transforms into a huge mural or otherwise. To see his work, here is: Yassir\’s website

Among the artists who were at the earlier session Mary Collis and her lovely friend whose name I never got said I would be a beautiful piece of art if they drew me   Her friend had actually made a sketch of me from the session, I thought that was very artistic of her. I think they are co painters, wonder if there is such a term.. Nway so we all exchanged contacts and they will contact me for a drawing/painting session, can’t wait! In the mean time, yours truly is the latest addition to the Footnotes E.A project, the only East African arts online publication!  Holla! This year, I am not only taking my print career to another level but also spicing it up by adding art ..

BONUS: Kuona Trust is a non-profit organization founded in 1995 to serve visual arts and has since worked with over 1,500 artists giving them skills and opportunities to advance themselves while at the same time increasing the profiles and role of the visual arts in Kenya.

Thank you Gor Soudan for giving me an opportunity to learn and prove my worth

Dear Stranger,

Hey,

I don’t know you but can I have just another day with you? I don’t mean to bother or be rude, I just want a chance to be with a fly brother. I don’t mind gifts and trips but all I want is to dine with you, so I can be sure that this is no mistake but a chance to take your hand into mine. See how well it fits, just one more time …

I don’t know you but I feel like you are the one to acquit me from this case, not of a crime but that I wanna commit to you. I admit that am addicted to your smile, moreover my mind gets twisted when I look into your eyes, it’s sort of like a place where I turn to when I am conflicted in these feelings I have for you …

I don’t know you but like glue am stuck to your magical presence. It’s not something tangible but I feel like I can almost touch it. I lost a lot of myself in the past trying to be someone I wasn’t, luckily all that has passed and now I have learnt not to take the fast lane but the soul plane, the way into the heart …

I don’t know you but I wanna sing you a love song just because you asked me to, and of course am hoping you would come my way. P.s I am the worst singer ever but trust me my lyrics will linger in your head, take you back to be basics of dating. I will probably be out of key but that’s just to tell you how much I have been thinking of you lately …

I don’t know you stranger but I just wrote you a letter. If you don’t agree to this, I could either feign insanity or fail in the attempt to get to know you. I think at the least I will have dreamt about you away from the comfort of my bed. I will have made an effort towards getting ahead to know you. Luckily I will have left unhurt, unscathed & strange enough unloved all the same …

The 12 year old Kerugoya boy ….



You should be reading the newspaper everyday but on April Fool’s day you should particularly not miss a copy just so you can test your brain, see if you can tell which stories are good pranks! Well, at least I do that for the kicks …

However, In a twist of events page 8 of the Daily Nation briefs had a headline that caught my eye, “Boy held in hospital due to 10,820 bill” The story went on that the boy who had been detained in Kerugoya district hospital had missed his terminal exams (no pun intended) In addition, the hospital superintendent could not be reached for comment. Wait, I shed a tear. This wasn’t a joke. Can you understand this situation? I still can’t understand how a little boy can be detained in hospital over a 10 K bill and thus miss going to school … 12 year olds should be busy watching WWF, adoring Ben10, playing football and mchongwanos if not at school kicking ass at solving math problems!

I quickly had an idea that if I could chomoa 3k, get 4 of my friends to chomoa 2K each, we could all bail that kid out of his misery by the next day that was on a Saturday! (I love my ambition) First things first, I called the Nation hotline hoping to get any contacts that would help me get to the kid. Kudos to the quick response, within a minute the gentleman behind the phone had already given me the contacts of one George Munene John, the Kerugoya Nation correspondent who had done the story. That was effortless! (The hookup)

I called Munene who was very receptive, well explained that I ran into his story in the newspaper and felt that my friends and I could assist the kido. I wanted the number to the boy’s mother, unfortunately both his parents ran off (who does that? smh) The boy now lives with his granny who has no cell phone, so the only way I was going to help the boy was via Munene. We both agreed that he would go to the hospital over lunch time and check if the boy was still there and just confirm that the bill is still at 10,820. I mean, you don’t wanna be raising money for an already released person.. Turned out the kid was still there.

I quickly called/txt a few friends, let’s just say: April Fool’s is the last day you wanna be asking friends to send you money for a 12-year-old boy who has been detained in Kerugoya hospital! It was a good ice breaker to laugh at their responses, they hardly believed me! I think only Anto did at first! Nway if I was joking about such a thing, I would have the worst sense of humour ever! Or the best, depending on how you look at it … By 3 pm I had almost all the cash I needed, thanks to the quick response from my friends. If I didn’t get the rest of the top up by Saturday morning, I would just have topped it up myself..

I usually have weekly staff meetings at the office every Fridays at 4 pm, which I DETEST like Akon, nway that’s another blog post for another day! During the meeting, I see Munene calling me! I thought to myself, “What now?” So I sent him a txt that I would call him after the meeting, I got a reply from him saying, “The hospital panicked and released the boy just a few minutes ago …” At that moment, I really felt a whole load of burden off my heart and shoulder. Before that I wasn’t going to sleep in peace until the boy would be released from hospital. I had prior talked to my boss to get the day off on Sato so I would go see the kid! So when I told him that the boy had been released and that I want going to go after all, he said, “You really wanted to go, I think you should still go..”

That Friday night, I worked till quite late. All that while still thinking of whether I should still go see the boy or not. At night when I txt Chim about the developments telling him that I wouldn’t travel after all, he txt back, “I think you should still go” My sister Jacque also txt and said, “You should still go” Saturday morning around 7 am, got a call from best friend Bunny. She was just asking if I had already set out, and then I remembered hadn’t told her that plans had changed. It happens that sometimes in life, we are just afraid to take a leap! We always wait for that little glimpse of hope just to do something, sometimes we need more than just one sign so I told Bunny, “I have been thinking about that boy since yesterday, do you really think I should still go?” Her answer was YES! Too many signs, so I hopped out of bed and into the shower and off to Kerugoya and javing alone! I was really excited!

It however didn’t feel like I was alone, my friends kept tweeting @ me, texting and calling & nway I ideally went because of the power they bestowed upon me! (Singing: Solidaaaaarity forrrrrever LOL) Got the mat at Tea Room, hapo tu karibu na commercial. Is it only me who suffocates in mats going to shags? Wah! It was a 2 hour drive down, trust me I counted down to the last bit! Munene was out on an assignment so he gave my number to a man called Kennedy, who asked me to alight at Kutus. He was so kind to come get me too. Well, not like he had a choice I didn’t know where I was heading. That’s When Ken arrived, I established that he was the boy’s neighbor. He was also the one who got the journalist to write the story. He said that he had tried to do everything possible, he even got the chief to write a letter to the hospital and the doctors still refused to release the boy. It was until the newspaper article that made the uproar public, that the Ministry of Health called the hospital and demanded for the kid to be released. Within no time, we were both on a motorbike heading to the village to see the boy and granny. Excuse me, I was not about to start walking on the dusty village roads I have to say, my motorbike was pimped heh we were on another level! Ebu check that bigass radio! And it was playing 2Pac, dear mama

When I finally got to the village, I saw the granny and the boy (who was in crutches) sitting outside the thatched house, sort of like waiting for someone. Please note: Not me per say, they just had that look like they were waiting for anyone to come fix them. SAD. Granny couldn’t speak Eng or Swa so Ken played a very good interpreter. He explained to her that I was the girl who was gonna bail the grandson from hospital but since he had been released I had just come to see him, after all.. P.s that’s Ken in the pix!

I took some time to talk to the boy, who FYI has a name: Martin Munene. I was sad that he is in class 6 yet he can’t speak English. I was very happy that he was healthy and that strange enough he didn’t seem troubled. I was shocked that the hospital had detained him from as far ago as January! He had missed a whole term from school yet last term he had emerged number 2 out of a class of 46, so clearly this is sharp boy! He just needs to keep with the schooling, and a very bright future awaits him!

He had fallen from a mango tree right behind the granny’s house because mangoes are sometimes all they have to eat. The wound was severe, they had even put a piece of metal inside his leg. It was around 2.45pm God knows I was hungry for any edible thing and thirsty as hell for a coke but these people hadn’t had anything since tea in the morning. The granny also takes care of her other 4-year-old, grandson who is either disabled or had autism. I couldn’t really tell. Well, I am no doctor, but a mere social scientist (Haha always wanted to say that) However, it doesn’t take a doctor to tell that the disabled or autistic kid has been lying on the chair for 4 years and not getting the special need that he requires, I could see that he was deformed. Something needs to be done or otherwise the boy will be 14 and completely helpless, more stress for granny!

Granny told me that Martin had only one pair of school shorts and a shirt. He has never had a school sweater or shoes though he had on some slippers. SAD. When he went to the hospital after the accident, the doctor tore through his school shorts, so now that he was out he still couldn’t go to school with no uniform. Granny said that she would need 1,600/= to purchase a new pair of school uniform for Martin, complete with shoes! Thank God I didn’t shop for her like I had contemplated earlier. I would have bought them blue band, peanut butter and wet wipes: Things that are completely non existent in their world…

I had returned some of the money I got from my friends because I hadn’t known that I would still visit Kerugoya. So nway I gave granny all the money I had, to buy uniform and food to last them at least a month or so. She has a farm right behind the house but she can’t cultivate because of the drought plus there’s no water in the village. They only have a meal when she goes out for kibaruas and gets money for food. SAD.

If I can buy a necklace worth 2,680/= or have dinner worth 2,650/= it wouldn’t be going out of my way helping a kido and the granny with almost the same if not double the amount. This was a joint effort, without my friends I wouldn’t have done it, without Munene’s story, no one would have known about Martin, the 12-year-old boy. It would be heart wrenching to know about all the people out there who need help, thank God I bumped into little Martin and thought I could help.

Just remembered, on Saturday night when I got back from Kerugoya, got home showered and while heading to Wamathai/ Kudishnyao around 8 pm I saw Ken from Keruguya calling me. Thought to myself, “What now?” But he was saying thank you and wishing me goodnight. That was soooooo cute, that in Kerugoya they wish each other goodnight at 8 pm, that’s when Nairobi night awakens Just yesterday, I called Ken to ask if they had bought Martin the uniform. So happy to report that they had, he said that they even bought him socks Yaaay!

I think it’s great that Martin is now going to school. We could give granny a couple of loose thousands every month but it will just last her so long, if you know what am saying. I am looking into a long-term solution. Granny needs a water pump so she can sustain her agriculture, in addition she can sell water to the community members and at least make some cash for food and stuff. She also needs an autism organization or something of the sort to help with the other kid. I am now calling out to all my friends or any well-wisher, how do we go about this? It’s a good thing that I am now very good friends with Munene and whatever we decide on he will publish it in the newspaper. Currently searching for organizations that empower communities through projects and of course that would help with the special kid. Any tips are welcomed. I will be setting a date for a brainstorming session so y’all better have your phones on!

Special shout out to: The Daily Nation, Munene, Anto, Bunny, Chim, Wanjeri, Marcus, Robert Alai, JB, Wamathai, Bruna and Nick Ndeda! We did it, part 1

BONUS! I had quite an adventure and all but in summary, nothing beats the feeling in my heart when I left cucu and Martin smiling. It kinda felt like I made people who would otherwise not be smiling, smile

The LITU pleasures you bring …

I don’t always say this but just so you know I love your many ways. Like the sun’s beautiful rays last on me, you amaze me! Out of the haze, I adore the simple things that you do, like taking pictures of my dimple… I mean who does that?  When you open the door for me, it makes me feel special. I like how you are gentle when we make out on the bathroom floor. I go mental thinking about all the things I wanna do to you, it’s how the taste of your kiss is, it’s how idle I get when I miss you, it’s how we diss each other then rekindle the flame, it’s the scented candle you got me for my birthday, it’s how you handle me at the end of the day when I comeback from work. I love how you cuddle with me on the couch till I fall asleep ….

I love when you let me sleep on your side of the bed, how you let me slip into your shirt. On the flip side, you love when I let you take off my skirt .… When you sip my milkshake and refuse to give it back, we fight. I might end up getting mad for real but at the end of the day, you take me into your arms then I forgive you. I give you a hard time helping me decide on what to wear but deep inside I appreciate your time and consideration. You never lie, or so I think so baby I give you acclamation! When we are walking in the rain it’s warm because you hold me close, it feels like you take away all my pain when I close my eyes to kiss you. In that moment I know I made the right choice when I choose you. Like a garment, I know you were tailor-made and meant for me ….

When you are away, you send me that text that simply says: Good night. In a way it gives me an insight of the person you are. You let me marvel at your simplicity, at the same time letting me unravel the mystery that lies behind your eccentricity. You are the reason why I am your diamond in the rough, I smile in the midst of a tough day knowing very well that I look forward to the salmon you cook me for dinner. What’s bigger? You reward me with your gift of listening, I award you the best man as you lift my spirits up, you shift me from a place of discomfort albeit the task. You know I love flowers so you didn’t ask but got me a vase to keep them! You know I love showers so in this case you let us spend hours in it, you even help me mask my face ….

When I cry, you don’t think am a baby but you let me take it out on you. It’s how you treat me on a daily basis, you never leave me but you see through me, you appreciate the things I write you, in a way I speak to you through the poetry, you sway my thoughts when you play me Floetry, it’s an array of bliss that we both enjoy music. It’s the joy that we are in sync in so many ways. It’s the movies we love to watch, it’s the smoothies we love to catch over our conversations, it’s the scotch we love to snatch over our sensational night activities. It’s the pillow fights after the steamy sex, it’s watching Camp Lazlo with you when am low, it’s relishing the creamy white forest you got me. I mean, am not even a sweet tooth but truth is: For your little pleasures, anything baby!



Inflation…

I wish the inflation could affect a portion of your heart, so it could make you love me double. I wish you would have trouble finding me, so I would be precious. Not like a commodity but in reality you would require me like a basic need. I wish you would not retire after a long day without me. If you did, I wish you would aspire to be with me.

The shopkeeper would be cupid, they would be lucid enough to hoard me. I wish you could see that I am a keeper so you would buy me at any price just to hold me. You would then be surprised that I should have been priceless!  Nevertheless, I wish that you would appreciate me, whether or not the market depreciated or retaliated.

I wish that during the shortage of good love, you would have me. Maybe that way we would be together till old age. Like a good product we would be cool, timeless and priceless. It kills me that in my everyday endeavors I think of you hoping that you would see me. I was just shopping & thinking of the current inflation situation, wonder how I started relating it to you ….

Letter to my Dad.

Dear Dad,

I am writing you this letter because I want to free myself of the fear of talking about you, talking to you. Thought that you should also know that I am no longer afraid of the huge mad cow with untrimmed horns that would start to chase after kids for no apparent reason, Dad that was around 16 years ago! Glad to report that I have now grown up and thus less afraid of cows, I however still have fears that are not necessarily bigger or lesser since you left. Every day I wonder how my life would have been with you around, it’s been a collective struggle without you but mum and I have been very close. She would have used your support, more importantly your shoulder to lean on but I have to say congrats for having chosen her as your wife. She is by far the strongest woman who ever walked this earth. She hasn’t changed much apart from the part where she recently turned 60. She is still a hot chic, still dresses well. She still got that sparkle in her eye when she smiles, still as hardworking, retired but still farming, she still got that sexy phone voice, ok Dad will do you another blog post on mum vibes.

On the flipside, a lot has changed since you left, gosh where do I start? I grew up so fast, everyone did. Bonn stayed in India for a very long time, after his graduation he came back to Kenya. Between us, I think he can speak fluent Hindu but he never wants to for some strange reason. He got married, he recently got blessed with an adorable daughter called Cate. Pollyne is still as tough as she used to be when you left, it’s really helped her in this tough world, I look up to her. She has a lovely daughter named after you, Francy, who is now 11. Guess what? She took after your light skin Emma ended up studying hotel management, she is still a neat freak, oh she also moved to Miami where she manages a hotel resort (You must be a proud Dad huh?) She got married to a good white man, they have two lovely daughters, Laika Rose and Zuri. Jackie is still a-ka softie, remember Freddy? Your good friend Obiero’s son? He (Freddy) used to be in the same primary school with Jackie, well they ended up together. They now have a cute litu son holistically named after you, Francis Owoko Ong’etch. He is soooo cute and worships Ben 10 (a new toon that has taken the kid world by storm) Well, I still don’t have a baby seeing everyone in the family went the recreational way but Dad I have a degree in Journalism! I graduated from University last December, man I know you would have been proud of me, mum was sooooo happy! P.s thanks for the shares you hoarded years back to help clear my school fees, they really came handy at the very end. And I looked so cool in my  graduation gown, I made sure I asked mum not to bring those things for the xmas tree, she is cool people so she didn’t

I was only 8 or so when you left so I don’t remember much of our relationship but it’s funny how livid  I remember your hilarious pranks, it’s no wonder that to date I love playing pranks, just like you. I remember that you had wired our bedrooms with speakers connected to the microphone in your bedroom. You would then come home late from your escapades and start to sing to us from your room, Dad that was annoying! But I miss it, I miss you Remember when cousins would visit, early morning you would wake up everyone around the house via your proverbial radio then call Alicia and I to join you and mum in bed? You would then order the big girls Sharon and Jackie (who were only like 13 years or so) to bring us milk in bed? Alicia and I still remember the royal treatment, we talk about it to this day, at that time we felt like we were princesses and we deserved such kind of treatment. Its 20 years later but not too late to say that we appreciate! I remember how I was always strategically sitting next to the house  phone, like a lioness eyeing its prey. I was waiting for it to ring so I could answer the calls. It was very appraising if not gratifying to say “Hello” into an actual phone that wasn’t a call booth then.  I remember you always pinching me asking, “Who told you that this is your phone?” Dad, what you didn’t realize then was that I was just a curious girl who happened to also be chatter box, I was eager to get a chance just to chat, well I am still that same girl kabisa! As a matter of fact, I am now a TV host/ reporter/radio reporter/ writer/ In summary, if I am not chatting and writing am trying to communicate constructively  Mum is glad, I hope I make you proud.

I however still want to know so much about you, like how you met my mother. Well, she already gave her story, it sounded like a fairytale how a lot of things were against you guys, like responsibilities bestowed upon you as you were the first born of the soccer team, the distance and need for you to impress her bourgeoisie parents, am glad that in the end you left a legacy that says that you were a good man. It was so bonnie & Clyde how mum kicked some rich politicians niece’s ass and got in trouble with the law but you stood right by her till thanks to Jomo Kenyatta’s sudden death the case got withdrawn. Tough Love! I saw pictures of your Volkswagen and motorbike, you was really cool people! Mum now drives a pickup Peugeot 504, it helps a lot with the farm work. P.s it’s the first automobile I ever drove Remember Mwaura, the mechanic? Well, he still fixes mum’s pickup, he’s the one who taught me how to drive that valuable junk that I suspect is older than I am while mum was away in Nigeria, that was about 5 years ago.

I love colour as much as the life you guys gave me so I strive to colour my life. Mum says you really loved to unwind while listening to music, same here! I love varied genres, from Dobet Gnahore, Laura Izibor to Franco (Heard you loved him!) I love dogs, I heard you did too! A year after you left, I had a cat that I adored, I accidentally left it at granny’s (Your ma) while visiting, about a year later heard it fell in a pit latrine, still heartbroken. I also love to read books, I found your library, have read quite a number from your collection. I really enjoyed reading the Trial of Jomo Kenyata. I am now reading Facing Mount Kenya and a new release that I recently got, The Politics of Betrayal. It’s a 2011 publication, sort of a sequel to all the previous political books, you would enjoy its style that’s constantly quoting from the earlier political publications like Not yet Uhuru et al.. while at the same time trying to compare and contrast the current socio-economic situation to the previous year’s scenario.

Nway, one day while coming from work, I met uncle Owino right outside the Norfolk hotel. So we went inside and ended up having a hearty chat about you over a cup of coffee and several bitings. Oh FYI he is now the deputy police spokesperson in the country, yup you would be very proud of him. He told me a lot about you, like how you coerced him into getting into the police force against his will. How you schooled him and took him in after his parents passed on, that was so kind of you. Sometimes I meet kids in such circumstances and wanna help, at least I now know where I get it from. Uncle Owino was tearing while talking about you, he says that if it wasn’t for you he wouldn’t have been where he is today, Dad= WIN! He told me how you and mum were the first to introduce him to beer after he completed form 6, surely Dad! He told me how much you loved mum and that you would always do just about anything for her, how sweet! He said a lot of things about you, that you loved to have a good laugh with friends, trips and visiting different places, adventure and to help people where you could. Guess what? That’s a photocopy of my life!

“In all the years I have lived, I have never met a man of your Dad’s caliber or charisma, you sure did miss to meet a great man”, said Uncle Owino with a distant gaze as if he was trying to re-live the moments he shared with you! That broke my heart but wait, I met you already!  I now figure that I shouldn’t be afraid of talking about you, to you and even writing to you. I share not only a birthday with you but a lot more Dad, I now  realize that you vicariously live in me. I am writing you a letter but in the reality  of a shrinks’ head, in pursuit of emancipation, I just wrote myself a letter.

I might be all grown up now but am still your litu girl, still trying to impress you, still fussing for your attention, still hoping to make you proud, still keen on your blessings, still in consideration of your preferences before making decisions, still dependent on you Dad. Rest in peace.

Love,  Anyiko.

(p.s started using the name you gave me, my friends love it, thanks

MusicInTheMagiq

I bet you were watching TV one day and saw this fantastic video with a guy seemingly trying to cajole a chic he met on the streets into giving him her number so they could just be buddies, and asked yourself, ”Ok, who’s that kid?” B.U.D.D.Y was one of Musiq Soulchild’s most acclaimed singles to date!

I had recognized the genious in him even before that, (LOL I sound like a talent scout) Nway seriously, I believe that the best of song lyrics are the simplest, those that make you see your story in them. “I aint’ no hood, no crook, no robber, I just want a part of your heart I can bother …” Ahhh … love that song, please feel free to check out the lyrics, right here —> B.U.D.D.Y lyrics Since then, he has mostly won my heart with the single, ”Beautiful”, which made it in my top biggest songs (great great songs that sound timeless and have some serious intensity that even soul can’t define) in the last 2 years. Among other songs that made it in my list was Melanie Fiona with,” It kills me”, another one was “Blame it on me,” Chrisette Michele, think you now get the drift…

Musiq has many nice albums, but MusiqInTheMagic just stole my heart. I have an internal belief that the albums that you get to learn to love, are the ones you fall most deepest in love with. I am always quite wary of those that you proverbially fall in love with at first listen. This one is one of them, thus I certainly hope to keep it up!

MusiqInTheMagic Is the neo-soul heart throb’s 6^th studio album, just dropped in May 3^rd , 3 years since his last album. Listening to this one, you can tell that he actually did some serious studio late nights, it’s sounds are as personal as a diary. It’s a mirror of a relationship’s life from the good and great to the bad and worse if not the absurd. It’s a mix of neo-soul and contemporary R&B that will definitely leave you feeling refreshed by the new sound, It’s the place where your love for the music will meet his magical X- factor.

1.Anything 03.51

Certified club banger! Very funky beat playing host into the 12 track- album. Jam to this one in the club, while cleaning the house, cooking, driving, even when you wanna get a breather at work! Pop those headphones and act a fool! He sings to his girl: Assuring her that she can tell/ ask him anything, as long as she can promise that she will do the same! Swizz Beats in a rap never lets down, now does he ever? Here is the vid —- > 

2.Single 04.04

Life’s ironic twist, that when you are single, you wish to be hooked. When you are with somebody, then you start to miss when you were single, sometimes you are single but not really, because you find that you can’t move on with somebody new. He sings about one of these scenarios, that he met a beautiful girl whom he wishes he would have met when he was single. That’s because he is with another girl … So he tells the new girl, ”It’s nice to meet you but I gotta go… ” This one is on my replay. Really love this new wholesome R&B feel, lyrics wise and all kinds, fantastic song!

3. Say I do 03.10

Neo-soul redefined. This is a good relationship/marriage song. When everything is so good, it gets to a time when you need to move on to the next step, that point when you get to say, “I DO” That’s basically what the song is about. I think it’s just beautiful, I mean at one point, every good thing has to elevate to its ultimate nirvana!  It’s the type of song that would make you say, fuck it! Let’s get married

4.Love contract 04.13

This one is a love song with an 80’s feel, a bit jumpy but in a good way! It sounds like something John Legend would effortlessly do… A song about a dude who’s been up and about, cheated and sneaked out of the house, but he finally settles down for this girl because she’s the only one who loves him in that special way, so he is accepting the Love Contract that he has been running away from. If there was a Kiswahili saying to epitomize this song’s love message, it would be: Mwenda tezi na omo marejeo ni ngamani. (Now who knew that after high school I could actually find a place to use that methali WIN!

5.Silver & Gold 03.24

I LOVE this one, another one of my favourites! Very sick beat, that electric guitar and cello combi- WIN! Apart from that, the Soulchild’s vocals shine in this one. Not forgetting his songwriting skills, he serenades to his beloved that his love will never get old, it’s better than silver & gold. Now that’s a priceless statement. If I were a dude, swear I would have used this one on a shorty, just not sure if it would come out as romantic or retarded

7.Back to where 03.38

My bestestestestest song in the album! Replay replay wait. Have I already said replay replay material? Sometimes you try to convince yourself that you have no feelings for someone. Maybe that should be a red flag, why must you convince yourself if you really aren’t still in love with them? Sometimes we seek so much advice from friends as well as alternative media while all that while all we needed to do was to consult our inner selves, only then we would realize that we poses the power of treating the ones we love how they deserve, so they could be with us. In a nutshell, that’s what the song is about! I particularly love the bridge: You and the sky must be talking, coz every time you are near me girl, it rains… (I think that’s metaphorically & semantically soooo CUTE! Please forgive the poet in me P.s, yes I do realize that I reviewed this song just like Dr. Chris Hart would, such a shame if not sad that those who think they articulate these sort of issues, are themselves the most dysfunctional …

8.Do we have to? 03.26

She is always yelling, asking why he doesn’t reply to her texts, she is always worried about what the other people will say while she never takes the time to find out how he feels about her. The crooner sings that their relationships’ unnecessary dramas prevent him from loving her when he wants to, even at night, sometimes he just wants to be with the girl he fell in love with…. He says that at some point there is no need to fight for love because being in love is already hard enough… There you have it: Make love, Not war! Very nice song. Perfect makeup song!

9. Be Friends 03.42

This is a bitter sweet song. If Antony Hamilton did it, it would be a perfect sequel to “Charlene” Nway Musiq sings about the things he does to get through the day without her, stare at her pictures in his phone, replay some of the voice messages she left before the breakup ETC. Worse still, when she kissed him, when she touched him, it felt  like she loved him. For those reasons he says that it’s too bad but he doesn’t wanna be friends with her because he had already started loving her… Awwwww ….

10.YES! 03.41

Gotta love neo-soul Gosh this is a favourite too! Replay material. People don’t just bring you up to let you down, love that line! As much as she might be second guessing his love and stuff, he sings that she doesn’t have to ask, the answer is: YES! Lovely. I want someone to dedicate this to me …. YES,  i do   Dudes, when your girl thinks that she is too thin or too fat or not good enough for that job et al this is the ultimate dedication to her. Let her know that she is all that & a bag of chips Here is the official music video —–> 

11.Medicine 03.57

Certified baby making jam! He promises to do everything to change how she is feeling inside. He sees that she can hardly breathe from the hard day, so it’s time to turn the music down low, for her to go to him for some medicine. Serious sexy jam, after a long day, dinner & shower, cuddling nini nini, play this one right into the night extra-curricular activities!

BONUS:

From a tender age people nicknamed him, ”That Music guy”, that was inspiration enough behind the origin of the singer’s stage name. Read an interview on him via Bossip a while ago where he said that, if he could be given a chance to be anything other than himself, Music would be it …. The DEEP guy doesn’t only write from the heart but literally how he says it. He is famed for having grammatically incorrect album and song titles. His first album was titled – Aijuswanaseing, the 2rd- Juslisen, the 4th-Luvanmusiq and of course the 6^th- MusicInTheMagiq. I think his reason for this is rather obvious: that music knows no grammar or language shiznit. So what are you waiting for? CHOMA that album already!

That Time

Been okay since we broke up, well, I  don’t smoke any more, still looking good, Mary Kay products or not. As a byproduct of thoughts of you, wrote you this blog post. I remember when I used to have the hots for you. It was September when we met, right after my birthday. We were silly, getting wet in the rain, that day getting left by the train, letting our love reign was our motto for a very long time. Every day was like we won a lotto, in every way our relationship was like a casino, wish we made litu  bambinos’ when we had the chance to.

You must be wondering why I am saying all this to you now, I feel like I have been wandering on the same shores for a long time. I watched so many shows to try salvage what was left of us but all that was a lie. Like garbage I tried to trash you, push you on the left. I did everything in a rush, even hid all the pictures we had taken, I even did move on quickly despite the lecturers from friends. His name is Quincy, a very good man. I began seeing him a month after we separated. I was frustrated and he came to my rescue. Like a painting without hue, my life was tasteless then.

It is very sad that I would write you this three years after I left you, I think it’s bad enough that I might be too late to reach you. See I have no business calling your phone, this is beyond a conversation, I am aimless, don’t know where to start, well right now I am at the gas station. Ironic that I would fill my car’s tank while my heart’s equivalent is empty. I am ambivalent because I am with someone else but I still think of you. I sink in cupid’s case because I fell in love with you first. I feel stupid that I would be the last see this.

I want to be with Quincy but  I don’t want to be needy of something else. He helps me a lot but I don’t need that anymore, I miss being opened for the door, your scent that I used to adore, the bathroom floor sex, the bedroom mess, the stolen kitchen counter kisses, the golden moments, can we patch all the broken promises? Like a bounty hunter, am searching for you, I realize that I have been for a while. I am breaking up with Quincy and letting you know that it’s you I need. It’s indeed been long overdue. What will you do? Shatter my fragile heart? I know that I am like clutter to you but hey can you go back to THAT TIME when we were in love?

Samuel Wanjiru (The Psychology in-depth)

Normal 24 year olds in Kenya are up to a lot! A majority are busy hustling in the back streets of Nairobi, Nyeri, Nakuru, oh hell from wherever corner of the country they might be. Some are in the deepest of panya-routes in the informal settlements like Kibera trying to make at least 70 bob per day so they can afford to have a decent ugali & mboga meal in pursuit of kusukuma wiki! Some are in universities and colleges, trying to excel in their studies so they can literally hit the tarmac road in search for jobs and with it a secure future as the society has defined the circle of life. Some rather lucky or hardworking lot have white collar jobs, at least with that they are able to earn some decent salary to sustain expenditures, needs and allow some entertainment here and there. There is however another group that’s engulfed in societal evils like drug abuse, indulgence in criminal activities, sexual and reproductive health complications, from HIV infections, maternal deaths, FGM to STD’s vulnerability.

24 year old Samuel Wanjiru came first. Not only in the world of marathons but in the world of 20 year olds among many in Kenya. How many Kenyans in their 20’s have broken such world records and with that managed to become instant heroes/ billionaires? Let’s not forget with it demands strenuous activity, diligence and discipline. It’s definitely not a walk in the park, on the contrary I hear it’s months of training in the high altitudes of Eldoret among other undisclosed locations in the world.

From a distance Samuel’s seemed like the perfect picture story. A record-breaking talented good-looking young man, billions of money in the bank, a hero’s welcome well stocked with Mursik (traditional Kalenjin brewed milk) on arrival at the JKIA airport, a bunch of pretty litu girls showering him with bouquets of rose flowers, well arranged in between lilies and carnations (even though he might have not noticed the mix), a wife by his side, the traditional skin Kalenjin regalia with a bow and arrow, just to mention a few. Back in Nyahururu were his big cars, palatial home with servants. Why can’t I have my own servant? LOL! What else would you need if you were Samuel Wanjiru? I don’t think I would need anything, eeeer ok other than a private DJ to throw parties in my BIGASS house, well I would also hire a few males swtrippers for the weekly ladies hen nights…. Mhhh…

Some say that money can’t buy love, while others rival that saying; those who have it must know where to shop. Did you ever sit and think about it, it might have been the case that where to shop was metaphorical…  It was obvious that paradise was troubled in December 2010 when Samuel was arrested and detained in Nyahururu police station for allegedly threatening his wife and servant’s life and procession of an illegal firearm. Why would he have a rifle? If you ask me, I think he was paranoid, I wonder why. That gun procession was a red flag! I think that at that time, he should have sort some psychiatric help ASAP! I am certain that he would have been more than able to pay Dr. Frank Njenga anything.

Its rather sad that Wanjiru died, and in very mysterious circumstances. In the wee morning hours of May 15^th 2011, he fell off his balcony and finally succumbed to the injuries. Following the dramatic events between him, his wife and mistress, the case has since become the home of speculation as different camps have cited either suicide OR homicide. I cite a means to an end. What’s yours? Money, Lust, Happiness, Wealth, Power, Friendship, Charity? When Samuel was alive he practically made his means of living through running, it’s life’s ironic twist that his means of demise was while jumping the balcony. It is far much ironic that the celebrated son of Kenya would turn to be a laughing stock soon after his death as the social internet world flooded with jokes ridiculing his death. I would think that such a young blood and hardworking sports-person who had at many times carried high the Kenyan flag around the world, would have a hero’s send off similar to how he was received while alive.

What is wrong with Kenyans? That they would find something to joke about after such a sad blow to the Kenya sports arena and the country at large? I wish that if people had nothing good to say they would at least look at their lives and Wanjiru’s in comparison and contrast so as to learn something. That hard work sure does pay off! Talent should be recognized and nurtured. I love a quote that says “If you want to feel rich, just count the things you have that money can’t buy” It can’t buy you honesty. That’s why he had a wife and was still with a mistress in bed. It can’t buy sanity. That’s why he underestimated the distance between his balcony and the ground. It can’t buy life. That’s why no money would keep him alive after the injuries he sustained. Anyone would like to have everything Samuel Wanjiru had, a good life. But was it really that good?

No one really knows of the intent behind Samuel’s unprecedented fall but I know one thing that I am thankful for the life I have. You should be content with yours. The difference between Samuel and the array of 20 year olds or any other person (after all age is nothing but a number) is simple: he has set an example looking at his achievements, he was far ahead of even half of most of his counterparts achievements. Thats why the idiots who indulged in the Samuel Wanjiru tasteless jokes should be ashamed of their pathetic sense of humour! Since his death, the additional difference is that: the rest have lives to live, he doesn’t. So how about you get working at whatever you do because you have a chance to live another day, a chance to right your wrongs and yes you have a right to be wrong, its life. Next time you are caught between a rock and a hard place, look at your life. It’s far greater than any achievement or the world. So try relax:  breath in and out, whatever you do, do not jump!

R.I.P Samuel Kamau Wanjiru (10 November 1986 – 15 May 2011)

The girl who got away …

I lifted this story word for word from my Cosmo-May Edition. I wanted to share it with you because it’s short & sweet. It made me realize that you can run, but you can’t escape from certain things (Enrique’s voice)

START:

It’s easy to forget that guys also suffer the brutal heartbreak of losing the one- After all, they are usually a lot less vocal about it. Matt McGoldrick writes about the woman he can’t quite forget.

Falling in love at work was not on the cards, but even on the first day that Astrid walked into the office, I knew I wasn’t going to be able to stop it. Still, I tried. The last thing I needed was to be distracted by a smart, beautiful and potentially dangerous woman.

Oh, I was friendly enough but, unlike most of the other guys, I made sure there was No Hitting On. Later, Astrid told me this had driven her crazy. She joked about the futility of resistance. We became friends. We both read a lot. I liked Murakami and Ishiguro. She kept on going about Nabokov, but I was too busy trying not to think about how she could smell of naartjies and coconut at the same time, to notice much else.

One evening we were well oiled and arguing about Yeats. “I have spread my dreams under your feet: tread softly because you tread on my dreams”. I didn’t care for that line. She thought it romantic. I tried not to roll my eyes. Perhaps I arched an eyebrow. How this led to the bedroom, I couldn’t tell you. But seconds later, there we were. And hours later. And days. Halcyon days. We cooked, read and laughed together. She introduced me to her family. She met my folks; they liked her.

A few months down the line I told Astrid I loved her. She told me she was sleeping with our boss. He was 20 years older than us. At the time I was so upset that I hadn’t noticed that my heart had just been trampled on. Pride, I guess. I cashed in my chips and went travelling. That was a few years ago. I hear they are married with a couple of kids now.

I’m on the other side of the world. Which isn’t quite far enough —– I still smell coconuts sometimes —– but it’ll have to do.

A page in her DIARY…

What is wrong with you? You keep me waiting all night long while you are out with your friends. Last week you were about starting a new. I knew that you were bluffing because you have said that so many times. We are the laughing-stock in the hood. In a crude manner we go arguing everywhere. The man I used to know wouldn’t do that. You used to love me in everything I wore, now all of a sudden you hate my hats, my pants, my guts, this war between us hurts me. That’s why I tore our wedding certificate, it means nothing when I have been waiting for you to act right. I spoke to the advocate and letting go of you is hard, I have tried getting rid of you but you always come back, crying like a baby. You keep lying to me, maybe I shouldn’t have believed you the first time.

Love don’t cost a dime but you take all my money. It’s funny because when we got together, you  were the provider, now you divide us and I think it’s better if we separated. I hate it when you make me desperate, who are those damn bitches calling your cell?  You call our fights technical hitches, I think these are permanent glitches. No determinant that will set us free so please let me be, more importantly let me see you act your age. I can’t be with a man whose priorities are messed up, a majority of my friends keep telling me that I should leave you. See, you keep selling me that silly idea that we are married, but how come you always get carried away not to remember that? Our anniversary is in December, you always forget that, you have become my adversary. You promise to makeup but instead we still end up breaking up.

Waking up without you by my side is normal, you don’t give me love no more. I don’t like to be alone especially when am at home, freshly made bread but no one to eat it with. I wanna get ahead of this relationship. Like an airstrip, I am ready to let the plane take off so don’t blame me for anything. You have already caused me too much pain so please let me go. I am planning to get out of town, for good so don’t come running after me this time. It’s not a crime to be wrong but you are always on the defense. I don’t sit on the fence because I want to but I thought that I would have saved you. Well I thought wrong, you are safe alone. Tom, I am tired of this storm brewing between us, please receive the divorce papers.

Estranged Black Woman.

 

Fear Vs Love

I am afraid OF Love …. What is it? Like electricity it supplies for basic maintenance but never to infinity so I hide behind the menace because I don’t wanna run low. When its good, it glows so bright anyone can tell that you are smitten but what happens when the light dims out at the end of the tunnel? Like a homeless kitten you are left alone in search of a new home, where to start?

I am afraid TO Love …. Last time it broke my heart but am lucky I got out unscathed. I don’t like speaking about it, let alone writing around it. Like ungrateful fools are many, un-cool pretenders wasteful of the heart’s contents, it’s always hard to tell of their intent, pretentious,  obnoxious or even outrageous in the end what matters is if they knew what lies deep in me. Like an arson I want to burn all the bad memories so I can start afresh, is it a crime?

I am afraid to HAVE Loved …. I didn’t get it back in return. May be that wasn’t my turn or it just wasn’t the right tunnel through which I passed. I must have been very stupid to have poured out my feelings, now all I keep hearing is my mind telling me to stop every time my heart’s clock starts to race. Like an athlete I want to embark on a thorough training, problem is it keeps raining so am wondering, could I emerge victorious?

I am FRAIL not to Love …. It’s a beautiful thing that only resembles the rainbow. It’s an ensemble of life’s little pleasures that beneath it lies no measures. Like a dirty canvas it’s underneath awaiting the painter’s hands to do justice, anyone deserves a taste of it. I observe that just like a painting without hue is its absence inside of you and me. Like a craving we need to have it, let’s not be selfish like the fat kid hoarding his cake, always holding back, we can let loose, can’t we?

your NAME!

It’s been sometime like 3 years since we came to an end, all that while in my head everything was ok. It started out by one thing reminding me of you, the Olay products you used to buy me, then there were too many, I got lazy counting. Now am rewinding the movies we used to love, at the same time wondering what am doing jamming to the groovy songs we used to unwind to… May be am undoing a mistake so am wandering hoping you could find me. Fine, I take it you are the same person so you could still fire me up like you used to.

It’s been a hustle finding another guy as good but trust me I did. It’s been self blinding hiding what I used to feel for you, you sure did have a lasting effect. Like luster you are still the special characteristic that leaves me having thoughts of you. It’s futuristic to think of what we could have been, now that I have seen how the past failed us. Nway, I figure that some things last it’s why I sent you this mail.

It’s so good to see that you have moved on with somebody new. It’s sort of like you cleaned up your boot and started rolling with a fresh crew. It’s cool, mine was a similar scenario just that of late everything seems to go back to my stereo. When am listening to the radio the song is always about us. It’s been a long day so just like the casualties I will pass with the pleasantries and just ask you a few questions …

Do your thoughts of me ever become sensual? Well, you don’t have to answer this if it’s too personal but do your hots for me reside still or like a capsized boat is the situation? In continuation do you remember our sexual escapades? But most importantly that December when we first met while on vacation? I am ashamed that sometimes when I am with my man, I call your name. Un-ashamed that this time I am calling you because I want you back as my man …

 

SPEAK!!

Speak now … because I am at the peak of the mountain. Not Longonot, but I seek to fight my heightened insecurities. Hear me not this last time and forever will it be; as this might be the end. Despite the infidelities I still endeavor to trust you.

You never say what’s on your mind, you never knew that I hide behind closed doors wishing you would open up. Inside I am tired of missing what I never had; so in line I am risking it all. I am calling giving you an ultimatum. It’s my turn to shut up, but see you need to speak … NOW.

 

The Proposal …

Hey are you still single? I was hoping that we could mingle one of these fine days, in addition also make this very simple and comfortable. I know this really nice place where they serve great wine and fantastic food, I think it’s a good plan for relaxation after a long day when vacation is unachievable. We can exchange silly conversations in pursuit of hiding our inner emotions, for a change we can forget about suiting up and just slide through the current motion …

Hey are you still single? I was hoping that I could take you to a walk inside the park. Not Uhuru, but my heart. There are a lot of things that I can’t tell you so I hope you are ready for the sightseeing expedition. I hope that we can keep a communication tradition despite the scenarios that we may encounter, in relation we should seal a deal that no matter what we bump into later, we must always have a rendition of these good times …

Hey are you still single? I was hoping that we could spend a day together. We could grab a cup of coffee seeing the weather has been gloomy of late. I know a hidden café where no one will bother us, it’s small and cozy just what you might fancy. Their great cookies and smoothies will haunt us the good kind, if you wish it can be where we hide in secret. Later on I could whisk you to my crib so we can watch House all night or better yet ignite a few flames alright …

Hey are you still single? I was hoping that I could tag you along to the movies. I know you don’t like Indian flicks but I just wanna drag you along because I don’t wanna watch it alone. We could grab some popcorn and forget about the world for a pop second. I just wanna hold your hands in the dark, forget about the film and instead hear you whisper into my ears. I just wanna be the one you have as a back-up plan, forget about your fears it’s time to get out your feelings …

Hey are you still single? I was hoping that we could spend this lifetime together. That’s rather ambitious of me but forever is a long time to be solo, don’t you think? Like Enrique Iglesias I can be your hero, so long as you will share the strife through the ride. If you care to try we can get better in time. I wanna be your rare diamond, and in relation you will the great Salmon that I salvaged from the ocean. That’s the premonition I had when I saw you … Now, can I take you out?

Dear crush,

While it’s hard for me to leave and let go all at once, I heard that you moved on in a rush after our short-lived romance … I can’t believe am still wearing the hush puppies you bought me, same way am still hearing the voices of you within me.

I have left everything behind but since you and I are no longer talking, I started stalking you, the good kind. I have since acquired new taste for the food you used to like, I have also inquired about the goods you used to dislike.

I realize that we were good while we lasted, same way I am left with nothing in the hood but your luster. I now appreciate the things I learnt about you, somehow I wanted to initiate a hunt to our new beginning but my feeling is;

Dear crush, though desperate for your sugar rush, lets keep with the separate ways …

The Painter ..

I am in love with a painter, we met at an art exhibition. A week later he took me to an expedition into his studio. Not literally but he stood by my side. Besides everything, he understood the language of my heart …

I am in love with a painter, he writes not letters. He engraves in wood, even though he is hood, he lights me up. Some people call him crude but even when he is rude, I know who he is, selfless.  They say that he is not enough for me, but they don’t know that less is more …

I am in love with a painter, he is a master of the canvas. More so, He is well versed when it comes to my desires. He inspires me to play with colours, not oil based but of the shades of life. I used to hide but now am out feeling like a priceless piece of art …

Jevanjee boy ..

I have heard many “normal” people talk ill of Jevanjee gardens. Strategically located in the middle of Nairobi’s robust central business district, it must have been placed there to provide the much-needed hideout for relaxation amidst the stress levels razing around the city life. One day while eavesdropping, i got to know that a  lot of town dwellers call it a dangerous zone, a dungeon where thugs and rapists hide. I don’t hide here, I reside here. This is my home, I guess it automatically makes me queer that I find solace here.

I am not a thug nor a rapist but I steal occasionally. In the hard knock street life you got nothing apart from your reflex action. You have to take that which doesn’t belong to you to survive through the man eat man circle of life. Just like a tale of the hustle, stealing is accompanied with a great deal of risk. Only last week Omosh succumbed to the brutal horror of mob justice. He was caught pick pocketing from a beldam’s handbag on Biashara street. For close to thirty minutes, normal transactions at the rather assiduous trade area came to a standstill as the angry mob pounced on him with big boulders from the nearby construction site. The fat women who sell juicy fruit salads for the construction workers were on the same camp with the Muslim women who peddle “mabuyu” near the mosque. In a bid to waver the crowd’s intent the females had all their arms high up in the air while crying out loud, “Woiiiii asamehewe!” Their pleas fell on deaf ears as the angry gathering yelled and kicked Omosh as if he had stolen from every one of them. Only the police would have saved his life, that’s if they had come to the scene and scared off the wanainchi by shooting bullets into the clear skies. This is the kind of metropolis where the echoing sound of gun shots usually disperses a crowd faster than any word of mouth. The police were however very late, they always are! When they got to the smoky vicinity, all that was left was the ashes of what used to be Omosh. The masses had taken the matter into their own hands. They hurriedly took an old tyre from the Indian vehicle spare parts shop and put it around Omosh’ body. They set him ablaze.

Inside Jevanjee is my favourite bench that I like to sit on. It’s my definition of magic because at night it transforms into a bed, my bed. I have spent a lot of sleepless nights on this surface, a problem most probably caused by its shape and make. I am too tall for its length and it’s too cold for my health, these damn scrap metals! Sometimes, the nightmares of the pot-bellied Italian man chasing me from the back of his pizzeria leave me tossing and turning. One of the best nights I have spent on this bench was when I once cuddled up with Shiko till the break of dawn. I could hardly let go to the warmth her feminine bosom provided to my chest. She was one of us, she still is even though she left. She was beautiful, I think I had feelings for her. I also think that I am a shy boy.

I have however never hesitated to grab half-eaten food from motorists with their car windows open in slow traffic, I have never felt guilty of wearing a foreign jacket. People always come to the park and forget their paraphernalia, we normally inherit them in a heartbeat. Around this location, my bravery is way above average. I am surprised that I never had the balls to tell Shiko that I loved her. I was also afraid to tell her because I had nothing to offer. Love is no spoken language in these dark and cruel alleys. In a real world, men who love women have gifts and trips to offer them if not fancy dates, things that I only dream of. Sometimes when i miss Shiko so much, I start to have illusions of her. I must have been the one person who cared most for her, after all she had no real home or family. She was one day found dead on Waiyaki way. Raped and killed.

It had been a long day, It was going to be yet another lonely night without Omosh. I was sad but perturbed much that the stars were brighter than usual, as if the universe was trying to light me up. I wished I had told Omosh that morning before his unprecedented departure that he was the only brother I had, the only friend I had left. I wish he knew that if I was given another chance to be with him, I would let him cover himself with the tattered piece of cloth we had both salvaged at the Ngara  dump site. Not a fortnight went by without us fighting over its fair share; for it’s the closest we had ever been to a blanket. I am somehow glad that every morning after our disputes, we always woke up to a new beginning, after all who needs a cloak during the day? To make hay, it’s the clock that matters. I shed a tear right after I said an invocation for Omosh.

The prayer made me think of Pastor Kamau. He comes to the gardens every morning from eleven to four o’clock. Adorning his expensive suits and cheap perfumes, I care less about his image or prayers, for all I know he always interrupts my version of  death to the world. My sweet sleep is always cut short by the clergyman’s blaring sound system and the out of key choir of at least five people always dressed in bright purple or blinding fuchsia. Some days he leaves as late as nightfall thanks to two different but very possible scenarios; when the garden is packed by passersby wanting to give their lives to the Lord, especially over the weekends or when kids visiting the city on educational school trips are incidentally stranded in the garden while waiting on their school bus to come pick them. Just like the rest of his church brethren, he pisses me off! It’s been close to five years since I forcefully started hearing his word, as he likes to term it. My life is still as pathetic. The word could not save my friends, Shiko and Omosh. Only the good Samaritans give me food if I am lucky, the word has never fed me, I wonder if it will save me when my time comes. Pastor also likes to be called “Mchungaji”. I find that rather bizarre because it’s a nickname. I hate them almost as much as when people call me a “chokora”. I have a name and that’s not it …

To be continued …

She doesn’t speak but seeks …

Tall, dark & handsome, that doesn’t have to be you, just as long as you are some man. She has no clue where you are but if you are that dude, then your super glue will find her, stick to her even click with her where necessary. She doesn’t want to be an adversary but a companion to you. Like a camera she wants to pan you through, if you are keen near her, she will keep you cool, when you endear to have her, she will serve you good, when you endeavour to hug her she will savour even the hood in you.

The perfect man, that doesn’t have to be you. Don’t buy her a dozen roses, only one will be enough. Don’t tell her about your tonnes of choices, only yes will be enough. In turn she will treat you like a King or better yet Prince “Akeem.” She will make you laugh at the silliest of jokes, she will take you through the deepest of hopes, trick you with that hoax but at the end of the day, she will be the reason why you wanna get ahead. No matter the season, she will put a crown on your head and be the reason why you butter your bread.

The brave man, that doesn’t have to be you. She is also as scared, all you need to do is spare her your fears. Hold her hands till late at night, fold your arms around her when she cries, notice her effort when she tries, promise her only if you will comply, listen to her even when she is high, reply to her texts even when the time is nigh. Make sure you pass her test, show her that you are that guy, make slow love to her, take her to her favourite shows, let her flavor it by rewarding you however she pleases. Kiss her, miss her, if she is hoarding anything she will stop holding & eventually open up to you.

Mr. Know It All. That doesn’t have to be you. She will teach you how to love, in return reach and meet her half way through. She wants a man who is true to himself, a man who is selfless, she hunts for a man who respects God. In retrospect, a man who seeks truce after a fight, a man who doesn’t use his might but his wit. Know your music & she will blow your mind by fusing her muse with it. When she gains or is in pain she will write you poems, you are right she is unique. You are right, it might be the case that you both make a classic antique, that is yet to be. Better yet, she seeks for you …

 

He doesn’t speak but seeks…

Fine ass babe. That doesn’t have to be you just as long as you will last past the haze. You will need to find him and set his heart ablaze because he believes that you will bind him in your goodness. You will be his queen and in return he will be your highness despite your shyness. Like a movie scene, he will be your director. If you are a budding actress, he will be flooding you with scripts, even letters. If you can encrypt his information then it will be the formation of your love’s foundation. Like a nation blessed with richness will be your relationship, full of enrichment & endearment.

The perfect woman. That doesn’t have to be you. Don’t pretend to be the best cook, just intend to be his best hookup to a good meal. Don’t bend your beliefs because of him, he is looking for an honest woman, one who heals after a wound. If you are in earnest, he will love you through and through. If you are true to him, he will turn your blue into sunny days. Give him his due and he will turn your lime into honey. You will find that being behind him will be better than any amount of money. You will search far and wide but no one will drive you as wild like him, make you unwind easy like he does.

An angel. That doesn’t have to be you. He is looking for a beautiful spirit. A bountiful harvest that will leave him feeling like he had the merit. He loves a little nasty once in a while, not forgetting a constant classy will be a worthwhile prerequisite. Be his exquisite rock and he will render you constant visits on a roll. Splash him insistently with your spleandour, he will stash your fears and in remainder be your serenader. He will love you so readily and tender, in return serve him steadily no matter the day of the calendar.

Gabrielle Union. That doesn’t have to be you just as long as you are real. Like holy communion he needs to partake you for a reason. No matter the season, he will have a meaning for your presence. He is looking for a woman who isn’t wooed by presents but one who is intelligent and sensible. You must be able to care for him, prepare his meals, dare to question his deeds, satisfy his needs, gratify his actions, quantify his reactions, qualify to do all his transactions, sanction his doubts. When he is in trouble, your smile will bring him above the rubble. You are right, you can both handle each other well. As for now however, he seeks for you …

 

Nostalgia, Ultra. Frank Ocean

Recently bumped into ‘Nostalgia Ultra’ making me  find it perfectly appropriate to tag Frank Ocean as among the emerging champions of contemporary R&B and funk. This is his debut self released mixtape released in February 2011. Out of 10, I give it a whopping 8.8 just because I only wished some of the songs had a rap or two.

Nostalgia brings the inherent oomph & soul back into the new R&B arena. Frank croons using his sweet vocals about the entire life of relationships to social issues and even about spirituality. He evokes deep sad emotions, anger, all this not stopping him from showing us his raunchy side. One of the reasons why I absolutely love Ocean is well, Ocean’s 11 was one helluva movie, nway seriously you don’t have to be a poet to be a singer but you can tell that Frank is a poet who sings. 14 tracks, only 9 actual tracks.

2. Strawberry Swing 3.55

Quite a kick-ass start into the album. I love this one,it’s beautiful.He kills his rendition of the Coldplay’s song too hard, I could hardly remember that they ever did that song. Nothing like good music re-done well.

3. Novacane 5.03

Quite upbeat! Novacane is a strong pain-killer. Love the song title, the beats and the storyline. He met a porn star (who had a dream of becoming a dentist) It was the perfect though accidental rendezvous. They share a smoke, she tells him to shut up & not let the high go to waste. He can’t feel shit but the good feeling of loving while numb …  Kanye West would love this song. Here is the un-censored vid   also check this cover with a rap, I LOVE IT —–(Rap Novacane Cover)

4. We all try 2.52

The first Ocean song I heard , fell in love with its spiritual borders. He sings about his belief in men despite the fact that they are wicked. He believes the body is a temple and a woman has the right to choose but he begs her not to abort. He doesn’t believe that the American flag is planted on the moon. Doesn’t that make you think of the first 16 minutes of Transformers 3?  All the same, very cool short song.

6. Songs for women 4.13

Quite upbeat! Love this song very muchos. He sings about his lifelong quest of finding out why he started to sing. He admits that he has sung to get at women. One day his girl forgot about him & started blasting “Drake & Trey” songs in her car [Clever line] Now he no longer sings for women because she broke his heart. Rather weird that he would mention Trey & Drake in the song because it sounds like either of them if not Kid Cudi would effortlessly rock this jam. Good stuff.

10. Swim good 4.17

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. Hear it and check The Video now! Found several versions of it’s covers on YouTube but I really loved this acoustic one, check it out

11. Dust 2.31

This is the mother of quiet musings. “Who is that talking in my library?”, he asks.  He won’t put them out because what would his place of writing books be without the muse? He wishes he could erase some of the pages he wrote but he keeps writing, loving and living as when the ink dries and the pages turn to dust so will we. He couldn’t ask her to stop laughing in his library because it would be nothing special without her smile. When he fell in love with this girl, she left everything for him and in turn set his books in flames. He quit writing but kept living and loving. After all, when the ink dries and the pages turn into dust, so will we…. TOO.  DAMN. DEEP.

12.American wedding is a beautiful masterpiece. Check out Yasmin’s cover 

14. Nature feels 3.14– modern day -baby making-Jodeci- Silk-Colour Me Bad- song. This one is for nothing but sex.

Frank Ocean has that Kanye West confidence, Drake voice, and Trey ‘gotta make it alright’ freshness. All that and he still holds his own. All the fuss and it’s just a self-released mixtape. If this guy gets some serious label, he is good to join th next decade’s top-selling R&B/Funk singers.

BONUS:  The 24-year-old song writer/musician was one of the Americans evacuated from their native during hurricane Katrina. Now Get ultra with the mixtape Nostalgia (condom ad huh?) Nway seriously all the songs will be worth your time. Heck how is this a mixtape? Then I cant wait for his album!

Our short story

We met in a serene setting on a Thursday night. We were both in our early twenties. He was with his girlfriend, I was with my homeboy. When our eyes met, so did a long-term search that came to an end. He kept staring into my eyes, I knew he was the one.

We kissed on our first date. He said his girlfriend had nothing on me. I told him nothing at all, I was smitten. We went on a couple of dates, family gatherings and trips. One thing led to another, it felt good to have a companion, we joked a lot, laughed together, fought sometimes and even talked about the future.

One morning I woke up feeling like I wanted more, it just wasn’t enough. I went to church and prayed to God. The next day after breakfast I fell sick. That night over dinner he proposed to me. The next day I realized I hadn’t had my periods for too long. I was pregnant.

We had a beautiful ceremony. I still look at pictures of my cute belly in the pretty wedding dress. I still remember seeing his hopeful face when I walked down the aisle. Clean shaven in a tuxedo never looked so damn good. The entire village came out. We couldn’t wait to be alone. The honeymoon was adventurous, a holiday destination in Samburu.

We have been married for 22 years now. Our only kid, Bijoux moved out last week. Among other things, we miss her pathetic pies, little pranks, constant ramblings and sneaking into the house late at night. Her childhood years remain sentimental. Parenting was hard but it’s harder to deal with her absence.

We are back to square one, stuck together. We are constantly reminiscing on the previous years, not forgetting to appreciate the far that we have come. Fate has somehow forced us to start all over again. We still breakup but we always makeup. In general I am starting to learn new things about him. He says that I have recently acquired new tastes, he knows me too well. I  have realized that despite our daughter, given another chance, I would still marry him.

This girl:

Like a gypsy, she has me under her spell. I smell her sweet perfume everywhere I go. I love her playful demeanor that I would personally exhume if she buried it, can never forgo. Before she leaves for work, she hurriedly must kiss me, I love how she quickly tucks her pretty hands behind my back, always messing with me. I love that she never gets petty when we disagree, she acts like her university degree … I think if she were a breed she would be a high pedigree.

Like ink, she is the constant of my life’s biro, for instance I roll with her at all times. When I can’t write, she is always right by my side inspiring me and in an instant it all starts to flow. I am constantly aspiring to be like her, always hopeful and cheerful. When things go wrong, she is purposely going on about how I have to remain optimistic. She is like a mystery, a never-dying river, leaving me in dire will to demystify her.

Like a good book, I can’t put her down. When I do, I lay her on the bed for nothing but good loving. It’s like having to read over a good story, it’s always worth it. When am hurting, she is always trying to take the pain away, every time I get distracted and sway, I remember when I was hunting for a good girl, I never knew that she would have to come with the full package to turn the fool in me into a love trackage.

Like a train, she demands compulsory stopovers. She loves it smooth and I made a cool discovery that being with her is not mandatory but it’s a luxury she granted me. I am trained to love her because she is trustworthy, it drives me insane how motherly she gets in spite of the simplicity she intends. She tends to me diligently with no trickery so when they ask me why I wanna put a ring on her finger, it’s because I fancy her consistency, humility, nobility, dignity and our compatibility that nothing can hinder.

Dude, I am under her spell!

he is my radio …

On MONDAY, he left me a note with a quote saying. “make hay when the sun still shines” that just made me smile. It reminded me of how lucky I am to have such a man who does not demand of me but commands my attention. With me, his intentions are always ratified. I am purified by his never ending compassion, I envy his passion when he embarks on any mission as he is always diligent. He is intelligent, always playing cool even when am wrong because he knows that i will eventually long for his explanations which he always gives me exponentially.

On TUESDAY, he brought me breakfast in bed. It’s really not the coffee but his steadfast commitment that I admire. It’s his unique quagmire that gives me the pleasure to never give into any incitement against him. With him, I want no haste but I wanna take my time. In line with that thought, I am in this for the long term, he is hot and all but I wanna see him age gracefully, I wanna turn every page of our story daily, I want him to stun the world by his goodness, shun the cold shoulder of its cruelty and in turn make that our novelty so that we can be an inspiration and an admiration to many.

On WEDNESDAY, he took me out on a date just because it was ladies night. It was his mandate to treat me like a queen and yes he did! He helped me sheen my hair then he held me close by the mirror whispering sweet nothings, just a part of his demeanour. He wanted to rip apart my sexy dress but like the gentleman he is, he waited till after out soiree at the Chinese restaurant. He always guides his restraint, never too much, never too little. When am brittle like coal, he treats me delicately like his doll, when the rough days have taken a toll on me, just his call turns me into gold. A state of happiness that can never grow old.

On THURSDAY, he stayed home with me because I wasn’t feeling too well. That’s the thing, he doesn’t own me, but he always acts like he owes me. In many ways I adore the attention he gives me, I am in realization that his candor is nothing like the gifts of this earth, his kiss is nothing but a gateway to my heart, missing him would be a hazard to my health, he appreciates all sorts of music even Mozart. In stealth, I anticipate to follow his footsteps, when I am hollow inside he feeds me with his positivity, he is selfless, just what I need. Indeed, he is not only into the finer things in life but he also tries to find where they lie.

On FRIDAY, he brought me carnations. My favourite flowers, every day with him is a revelation that I made the right choice. The height of our relations is not determined by hours but by the simple things he does for me. He tickles me just to take a picture of my dimple, he triggers my emotions just by his touch of me, he intrigues my devotions just by his actions. He rigs not to be with me but he has his sole right to share with me, I dare his complicity but he always tries new things. He made love to me on top on the washing machine, he is like caffeine, my addiction. When there is friction between us, he always is the bigger person, putting out the inner arson between us.

On SATURDAY, he took me to the park. It was serene just like the impact he has made into my life. I have seen a lot of birds but never seen one like the kookaburra we saw on that day. Same way, I have seen a lot of lads, they however left me in a hurry am glad the special one came along. I long for the day that I will be his wife so i can take the life-long stride with him. Being without him would be like an ocean without tides. Doesn’t matter where life takes me, I have already identified that I wanna ride with him, like music he is always ready to amplify my feelings for him, he has simplified my strife as now i know that I have a shoulder to lean on. I don’t have to show off to anyone as he remains my significant someone.

On SUNDAY, he took me to church even though I had trouble waking up. He never judges me the previous night when am taking shots, that’s because he is a man of different sorts of understanding. He also loves the crazy me, he went bungee jumping just because I insisted, he sent a telegraph across the world to his sister just because I suggested. He is interested in everything I do and say, you can call us the perfect accomplices. We are like a good dish, tasty and worthwhile. He is into how sassy I get, while at the same time sitting by the patio tuned into my classy radio. Not literally but metaphorically.

So when they ask me what frequency I listen to, it would have to be his (Love-Playing-Every-Day-of-the-Week

10 QUOTES from (Love in the Time of Cholera)

If you love reading books, you haven’t read anything yet till “Love in The Time of Cholera” If you don’t love reading books “Love in The Time of Cholera” will turn your taste buds upside down, inside out and backside front, so watch out!

I never shed a tear while reading a book, well until recently… It’s astonishing that what made me cry was not the riveting tale of the different kinds of love and struggles narrated over an entire century but Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s power of giving a breath of life and reference to each and EVERY detail, memory, person, thing and feeling.

The rare beauty of the writer’s evocative literature style supersedes the book’s powerful love story but don’t get me wrong, it is that love of the “crowned goddess” that inspired this amazing tale of the weak while at the same time, brave hearted … Here are some of  my favourite quotes from the book, enjoy!

1. “They were not capable of living for even an instant without the other and the capacity diminished as their age increased.”

2. Wisdom comes to us when it can no longer do any good.

3. “The girl raised her eyes to see who was passing by the window and that casual glance was the beginning of a cataclysm of love that still had not ended half a century later.”

4. “On Christmas eve he wandered like a sleepwalker until dawn, watching the fiesta through his tears, dazed by the hallucination that it was he and not God who had been born that night.”

5. “All that was needed was shrewd questioning, first of the patient and then of his mother to conclude once again that the symptoms of love were the same as those of Cholera. The doctor prescribed infusion of linden blossoms to calm the nerves and suggested a change of air so he could find consolation in distance but the man longed for just the opposite, to enjoy his martyrdom.”

6. One comes into the world with a predetermined allotment of lays, and whoever does not use them for whatever reason, one’s own or someone else’, willing or unwillingly, loses them forever.

7. ”From that time, she would still feel a belated longing for a letter that never arrived.”

8. “Worldly goods: security, order, happiness, contiguous numbers that, once they were added together, might resemble love, almost be love. But they were not love, and these doubts increased her confusion, because she was also not convinced that love was really what she most needed to live.”

9. The problem with marriage is it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning after breakfast.

10. Love, no matter else it might be, is a natural talent. You are either born knowing how or you never know.

I believe that friendship in the same measurements as love is about re-igniting that flame that burns deep within an individual so thank you Wanjeri for the book, and for awakening the ardent reader in me, much love sis

Leave & I will feel ..

I am declaring a state of emergency because I don’t love you anymore. The more I try to keep up with you, the more you keep stressing me. If I can’t have you leave, believe me I will be the one to go. My bags are packed already, my hands are tied up, my house is untidy but I am still ready to start over.

I am demanding for a memorandum of understanding because you never listen instead you keep with your cunning maneuvers. I am sick of mornings of your hangovers, I stick to my mourning as if I already lost you while you were with me. You are not the man I knew, it’s as if you are a ghost.

I am confirming if we have any other business because in all seriousness I don’t ever wanna hear from you. You will probably drink a beer tonight but after the high make sure you don’t call me. I heard enough of your lies and at this juncture nothing you can do will stop me from pursuing my future.

I am regretting the nuptials. I will keep the initials, wish I knew then what I was getting into. You can keep the house, I would love to live in a setting that reminds me of when we used to be ”us” so am going to reside at the old town where we first met. It’s where I don’t get agitated, it’s located inside of me so just leave & I will feel again.

This man:

Like a wizard, he has me under his bizarre ways. I love how he sips on his coffee, how he skips on his pals only to meet me, how he leads making me follow. After a long day, he lets me un-button his shirt, if I am on the wrong he first listens to me before correcting me, he never scolds me, in fact when it is cold, he is never forgetting to hold me closer, the weather never mattered. Our combination is heightened by his generosity, when I leave my jacket behind, he gives me his sweater, its sweeter that he cares about these litu-things.

Like chilies, he is the spice to my food, always leaving me with a good taste. He is like a meal cooked in no haste as he tastes of nothing but good ingredients. When I am greedy he is always asking me to count my blessings. “Some people out there are needy but you are blessed, “he says. He stays with me throughout the year, so when they say that there’s been a drought, I don’t understand. He is like a good year’s supply, always implies what an ideal man is made of, it’s like a deal that’s hard to break.

Like a good poem, I never get enough of him. He makes me laugh at his silly jokes, I marvel at the litu-notes  he jots me daily. I adore him like crazy because he turned my hazy vision into a clear oblivion, no one else before him matters. It’s like with him I am promised of reaching my potential even the stars, I am rich for starters just because just like words, he brings new pleasure by the day. There’s no measure to the way he has made me feel like a no. 1 best seller.

Like the rain, he demands for spontaneity. In reality his affection takes control of my attention. He is the remedy to half my maladies, I am fully aware of his healing power. Every fortnight he gets me a flower for no reason but just so to make me smile. He is my light as I adore his honesty, he is not always right but wise, he never sways in his promises and I love that. So when they ask me why I accepted to his proposal, it’s because I fancy how he rolls, how he is versatile, I am into his lifestyle, his hairstyle, how he slides, how we ride and our entire camaraderie that nothing can hinder.

Hell, i’d be damned if i wasn’t into him!

4 kinds of men … Or is it puppies?

People wonder why a nice kawaida girl would be single. It’s simply because of some of the men who are out there busy spoiling the broth for the good ones. Think about it, these men are as cute as puppies. They are adorable at the first instance but after several days and dates they start pooping everywhere and making a nuisance of themselves. This makes you wonder if you should still keep them and if the puppy will eventually grow into a dog- the good kind

1. Mr. I can’t be your friend if I can’t date you.

This man wants to be in a relationship with you, you like him, even appreciate him and his honesty but unfortunately he just doesn’t cut it for you. However, you still want him to be in your life as he would make a good friend. He must be the guy who came up with the notion that men and women can’t be friends as he is settling for all or nothing.

• This isn’t right, just because you can’t be with someone doesn’t mean they aren’t good for you. Not dating them isn’t a pass to push them out of your life as both of you lose out on a lot. Every individual has unique qualities that you will never get to experience if you aren’t in each other’s lives.

2. Mr. I don’t want to date you & I don’t want to be your friend, I just want the benefits.

You like this man for so many reasons. However, he wants nothing but to drop his hands in the cookie jar. As his mischievous game progresses, so does your confusion in trying to decipher his mixed signals. The fact is he will never change as you both want different things, you see the babies, he sees the ladies! He always has a woman on his arm and he genuinely likes them all for different reasons. He might not even know it but he is the serial-dater!

• Either you settle for his stray ways or ship out as this man only wants one thing … If you stay in this too long, you will end up feeling used and because of his “kigeugeu” ways, sadly your relationship will never take off.

3. Mr. I know I can’t date you but I will take anything from you.

This is the nice guy. He treats you like a queen, he is a gentleman, you always have a great time together. There is just one small thing (and not his “nene”); no fizzle! He knows that you don’t feel the same as he does for you but your presence as his friend is his constant sign and hope that one day you will be his woman. He works around your schedule, if you want to talk, he will give you an ear. If you need to cry, he will give you a shoulder, if you want to go out, he will be your date even chaperone, but for you, that’s it! Deep down you believe that one day when you don’t want to die alone, all factors remaining constant he will still be there for you.

• This is a situation that most girls are in and they tend to exploit the dude or vice versa. Partly because they are probably with Mr. I don’t want to date you & I don’t want to be your friend, I just want the benefits. And we all know how that goes. Other times, the ladies just can’t see that the guy REALLY likes them, it’s hard to see through them because these guys will feign anything, even friendship just so they never disclose their feelings in fear of losing you. This guy would rather have you as a friend than ever having to pressure you into a relationship.
• But word of caution , take time to assess your feelings lest one day you will wake up and find that this person is gone. Remember one man’s trash is another’s treasure.

4. Mr. I know I am the shit but I won’t commit

This guy is strange. He has everything seemingly going on for him, handsome, good job, sociable, charming and he’s got game (and we are not talking about Basketball  He is not kidding when he says that he has feelings for you, only they are not going anywhere past him proclaiming so. You want to start something serious as you have seen a good thing but unbeknownst to you, he is the eternal bachelor!

• You can tell that there is a step missing in your relationship’s advancement. The more you push the agenda, the more he pulls away. Once you realize that this guy likes you but not enough to change his principles, the bitterness starts to settle in because you had invested emotionally. This is the moment to walk away with your dignity intact.

• This is the only scenario where the stupid breakup line “It’s not you, it’s me” actually applies. Believe it, it wasn’t you, it was him and it’s his loss. Keep your head up as it wasn’t all in vain, he was a good man who just couldn’t settle down now find another one who will.

PARTING SHOT

Do you remember the puppy analogy? Ask any dog-person, breeding them to maturity is always a task. Similarly, relationships are difficult and complex. They take time, patience and sometimes they just don’t work out! Be keen as these types of guys will definitely come your way, at the end of the day make a decision that is right for you. So which one of the above are you? Whichever the case, treat your partner right!

Post co- written by my sis,  Wanjeri a lot of fun we had at the contribution table

The Still Livin’ Mixtape- Jahaziel

Jahaziel is a Hip hop gospel rapper who hails from the UK. I only previously heard of him in a song collaboration with Daniel Bedingfield. Somehow thanks to someone, I ended up in possession of his killer mixtape titled, “The Still Livin’ Mixtape”. Released on May 2011, its rich content is alive owing to the diversity of its 17 tracks, 14 out of them conspicuously being collaborations with various artists including Mali Music (Check them out too).

If you dig Hip hop, lyrical punches and funk, this mixtape is perfect for you irrespective of whether you believe in the word or not. It’s message has been uniquely packaged in songs about ordinary stories of life’s challenges intertwined in prayer and praise to God. Jahaziel embraces his Jamaican roots when he throws in a reggae song ’Deliver me’ in the midst of the head bopping Hip hop.

‘Be not deceived’ is somewhat a short story in a song. The moral of it being an emphasis on the need to be wary of the world’s dangerous pleasures like greed, lust and money for ”what a man sows he will reap, the same way he will eat what he grows”.

 ‘Come home remix’ sounds as fresh as a track off Lupe Fiasco’s ‘Lasers’. The song is a tale of a man  sliding from his belief. In spite of his dark life he discovers that there is still a mansion for him next to where the Lord lives. Lost in his spiritual poverty, he asks God of how that would be possible and He answers him, “Christ paid your mortgage”. DEEP!

If you are attentive, you will notice how Jahaziel’s British accent sips through the songs, very sexy! (Not too sure if that description is fit for this kind of post I loved all the rap verses in ‘Regenerated- a monster collabo! “I can set it off with the obvious line and say that I’ve been transformed something like Optimus prime but far from this rhyme is my gospel design to give God the optimum shine…”  SWEET! The consistency of the well executed lyrical semantics of the mixtape will blow your mind!

I am unable to review all the tracks because I am either spoilt for choice or Jahaziel’s litu-message of vote of thanks in the mixtape did it for me! It’s poetic, definitive of honesty and plain inspirational. I copy pasted the below except from the mixtape, word for word. His words are so beautiful leaving me with nothing to say other than, Il faut partager!

Thank You

I’ll keep it short and sweet

Thanks goes first, foremost and utmost to Almighty God – you already know – without whom life would be lifeless. Thank you for showing me more love than I could ever understand let alone reciprocate, in sending your Son to suffer my sinners death and give me His righteous life for eternity.

Thank you to Nadine my wife and Azaliah my daughter – having both a queen and a princess truly makes me feel like a king! I love you both dearly and may I never be a better rapper than I am a Christian husband and father.

 BONUS: The mixtape comes after his debut album, ‘Ready to Live’ which I am yet to get my hands and ears on as I wait on the release of his sophomore album later this year. Feels like I began to know him from the middle going in and outwards. No matter your style, I am recommending this mixtape. Click here The Interview of Jahaziel via snowdroponline.com

In the Chocolate City …

The year I celebrated my 10^th birthday must be the perfect connotation to “bitter sweet”. It also has to be the most memorable in the twenty-two years I have lived. Contrary to the usual disregard for the day I was born, for the first time mother brought me a gift. It was a brown little edible thing that looked like mud. She said that it was chocolate, and that it was intended for only special occasions. My taste buds marveled at its massive sweetness though that didn’t last as long as my status elevation among the village kids. All the little rascals from our slum area wanted to have a piece. I tried to hide the little left in one of my gumboots but hours later it had all melted and gone to waste. It was one of those terribly hot afternoons. I was naive then, didn’t even know about the relationship between chocolate and heat. Mother’s gesture really made me feel special as the other ‘blessed’ children I used to see on Mama Shiku’s little black and white Great-Wall television while passing by her kiosk. I hardly ever saw the complete Cadbury’s chocolate TV advertisements as Mama Shiku would always chase kids anytime they came near her ugly banda.(structure) ”Tokeni hapo ama mtu mmoja ataenda nyumbani akilia!,” she would always put out a warning prior to unleashing the wrath of her multi-purpose broom on us!

That same year, mama started suffering from severe chest problems. She kept on blaming the crack on the wall near the door that supposedly let in the cruel cold wind. The landlord had promised to have it fixed probably since the day I was born as that conspicuous hole was one of the first things I reckon to have hit my eyes as a toddler. After a week in a hospital in the big city, we were sent word that she passed on from an ailment called Pneumonia. I was sad, even sadder that I never got a chance to go visit her during her admission. I wanted to see how a real hospital would look like. Dad on the other hand was a chain smoker. “That nasty habit took his lungs,” said the expressionless man who was filling in for the clinic assistant. That’s the day my Dad never came out of the dilapidated local clinic walking.

I still smell tobacco around me. It’s no longer suffocating me; rather it gives me a vivid remembrance of my father. I feel like my parents demise was the work of the devil. The neighbours said that my father was bewitched. The village witchdoctor said that the gods needed to be appeased. My dad’s siblings blamed it on my mother saying that she was never the right choice for a wife. Everything happened too fast. One day we were a family happily bundled up in a minute shanty in Kibera. The next day my sister Njeri and I were left orphans sitting on the thin mattress on the floor. We were angry at the world’s ill fate but looking back, we were hungrier than anything! Mother wasn’t going to come back home with Kahorora, the stray vegetable that flourished near the sewer busts. It was the cheapest meal and ironically the sweetest when thrown in a boiling pot of mashed potatoes.

After our parent’s unprecedented departure, our four-walled shanty was suddenly grandiose. It felt bigger but not necessarily better. If anything, I was bitter at my evil aunt Koi who left the man she was living with down the lane to apparently come take care of us. For years, rumours that she was being battered severally by that man constantly flew around just as often as the common flying –toilets of Kibera. Down here, there are no systems whatsoever. The sewers are broken and the few available toilets are literally full of shit! We recycle plastic papers though not like the factories. We simply use them to help ourselves then thrown them up the air hoping that they will fly away as far as possible. People get away with crime just as easy as stealing a mandazi from Mama Oti’s open air frying pan by the road. Irrespective of your shanty’s padlock size, your door is prone to being broken into. Tribe is not a token of appreciation, you either live with your people or risk the tribal and brutal hands of the enemies.

Many times Mum had begged her sister to leave the unnecessary trouble of living with a man who made a pittance of money from chan’gaa (an illicit drink) brewing. Mummy had asked Aunt Koi to come squat with us but she never took up the offer. I thought she moved in faster after the loss out of her empathy for Njeri and I but ironically, she was coming to make us her slaves! Aunty only carried with her, a sack of dirty clothes which she forced us to wash on that same day despite the fact that it had been raining cats and dogs outside. It took the clothes about two days to dry out on the dirty picket fence by the nearby swamp that borders Kibera and the civilized Lang’ata estate. I used to day-dream staring at the other side of the swamp infested by mosquitoes wishing that one day I would get into the six storey apartments just to see if the world looked any different from up there.

After Njeri left for Mombasa to live with our uncle Ken, the shanty was suddenly the only thing I had left. I spent hours and days staring at the same old newspapers haphazardly stuck on the wall. At the far corner was the only family picture we took on the day that Muniu, the slum photographer was giving every family a free sample to his new Polaroid camera that a tourist from Tokyo had given him as a souvenir. Sometimes I am hoping that the newspaper writings would change but just like the reality of my parents gone, they never do. I got tired of tossing and turning in the cold nights waiting on Aunty to come home with food. Instead she would come home with different men almost every night, their similarity being the dead stench of vomit and cheap alcohol. She would kick me out of the shanty to get her desired space. Crying silently outside I would hear her crying inside in the pitiful pleasure of the moment,”mungu wangu, woi gai fafa, woi hapo tu …” What a dirty woman she was!

I got dirty myself, as I started doing vibaruas (odd jobs) at the age of seventeen. That way, i was poor but not too much to sleep hungry. Omosh Kinde, a childhood friend introduced me to Mzee Kasri. Mzee was renown as Kibera’s jack of all trades. He owned about a hundred mkokoteni’s (hand-carts), quite a number of shanties for rent and the famous Arusha Dishes, the slum’s famous eating joint that served the best Swahili dishes. Kasri would spend an entire day traversing through the depths of the slum ensuring that all his businesses ran smoothly. His diligence was to envy, it still remains a mystery how  he manages to keep his Islamic dress as white as snow. Mzee is the one who bailed me out of custody when i was held at the Lang’ata police station following an ugly dispute between Aunty and I. One morning I woke up feeling all grown up. In a bid to stand on my own, I asked her to leave and never come back. Instead, she dared to insult my dead parents, “Siendi! Na wewe utakufa na mdudu kama wazazi wako!”  … I am just sorry that I put my hands on a woman and especially my aunt but I am not sorry that this is who I’ve become.

It’s been raining heavily of late. Sometimes I just sit by my little window and ignore my solitude as I stare at the rain’s beautiful dancing motion. It ironically wrecks Kibera even further leaving everything covered in the reddish-brown messy mud! That always make me think about my first chocolate experience. I once read a newspaper headline that referred to Kibera as Africa’s largest and worst slum settlement. What a contrast because to me, this is the city of chocolate  Forget about what you heard, I am yet to tell you of all the real tales …

To be continued …

Will you finally celebrate Wangari Maathai?

She will always be the woman of steel who had balls for fifty men! Just when Kenya was experiencing the first cases of breaking democratic virginity in 1989, she was the only living being who stood up against former dictatorial president Moi when he wanted to sanction the building of a sixty-two-storey skyscraper on Uhuru park. Now one of the few famed recreational parks in African cities, I can bet you ninety five percent of those couples stealing afternoon kisses and hugs to themselves on the park’s green grass and boats floating over the litu-lake in the midst of Nairobi’s madness probably have no idea that if it wasn’t for Prof Wangari, all that land would now be sat on by a building of bustling business.

You have heard it before, that there is nothing like the wrath of a scorned woman. In 1992, she led women in a graphic protest, stripping to show the government of Kenya how desperate the mothers were to have their sons jailed as political prisoners released. These are the kind of things that made the former president tag her as ‘crazy.’ In 1993, the prisoners including renown Kenyan activist Koigi wa Wamwere, were finally released.

That ‘crazy’ Prof was also on a trailblazing mission to free the Kenyan environment of selfish land-grabbing individuals. Like the persistence of global warming, she was on the path to a permanently allow for environment conservation and the planting of trees. Watch the documentary, ‘Kikulacho,’ you will be more astounded than sad at the staggering percentages of Kenyan land that has been grabbed. Guess what? Kenya is still battling with the evil curse of land grabbing but this woman did her part in the fight. She founded Africa’s Green Belt Movement in 1977 which has since planted million of trees and dedicated it’s work to environmental conservation.

A feminist, environmentalist and in addition she was also a politician who served as a member of parliament representing Tetu constituency between the periods of 2002-2007. She is also a pioneer as she paved way for the rest of us ‘females’ having been the first East African woman to receive a Ph.D., when she was granted a doctorate of Anatomy.

The professor was also the first African woman to be awarded with the 2004 Peace Noble Laureate for her environmental work, that sort of brought controversy to how peace and environment is co-related. If your memory hasn’t failed you, you must remember the 1992 Molo clashes that were aggravated by misappropriation and loose granting of title deeds. In the words of one of her wise quotes, “If you destroy nature, nature will destroy you.”

Forget about Fareed’s rude awakening, my sister took the crown this morning,”Rosey! Wangari Maathai is dead, just got the news from my Facebook!” In a mix of sadness and confusion we ran to the remote to peruse through local TV stations. KBC had a lady discussing ‘World Tourism day’, when is that anyway? KTN had a presenter stuttering all through interviewing two guests on the topic of ‘Home schooling,’ interesting topic but couldn’t it wait? Citizen had Jimmy Gathu announcing to the audience that the Power breakfast was still waiting to host Ferdinand Waititu who was stuck in traffic on his way to their studios. Why do I want to see the SI-unit of running battles on my TV on the morning that honourable Wangari has passed away? It was until around 9.45 AM when K24 ran a repeat of an interview Jeff had done with Prof Wangari earlier on Capital Talk. NTV then started showing re-runs of all the stories they had done of her in the past. They didn’t have a guest in the studio so they brought in Ageyo, the genius to shed some light on the life and times of Prof Wangari. Exactly what I would have done to the programming if I was the editor in chief. Same way if I had the power I would want to watch the sky’s horizon every morning from the Eifel tower. But hey, I am just Rosey.

While the local TV stations gave scanty information on the events that led to Prof’s departure, CNN and BBC world had a mini-feature on her. The internet was bursting crazy with international news on Prof Wangari. My sister and I got more of the information from twitter where she (Prof Maathai) was already an international TT.

All the TV stations in Kenya should have been running clips of her life and times in between their morning schedule with a sense of habitual behaviours of morning audiences. On any morning, a normal individual would first check the news via their Facebook and Twitter, then go to the TV. What good is the latter if half of the things it’s showing are of no national importance to Kenya, in this case the loss of Prof? The president’s condolence came in the afternoon, really?

It’s an issue of precedence. All I can say is that only fools fail to celebrate their hero in their native, dead or alive. I stop to rant. I hope that Prof Wangari is granted  a state funeral. As the world at large mourns the loss of a noble peace laureate, can we at least all come together as Kenyans? Lets celebrate the life of a mother, a woman of steel, scholar, environmentalist, activist, not just by chilling at Uhuru Park but can each of us plant a tree in her  honour?

BONUS: One of the best documentaries I ever watched will remain to be, ‘For Our Land,’ made by the amazing kenyan filmmakers Wanuri Kahiu and Judy Kibinge. It is a detailed account of the struggles and triumphs of Prof Wangari. The documentary cashes in the power of talking heads, Prof herself opens up in front of the camera. Her closest alliances also talk a lot about her,  shedding a lot of light behind her driving force for the love of nature. Can all local stations get it and broadcast it now?

Yet to read her book, ‘Unbowed.’ Here is a link to some of the quotes from the book and  a chance to join other Kenya’s in a mission to honour her soon…. \’A Kenyan Girl\’s BLOG

You lost in the battle with cancer but Prof Wangari Maathai,  I salute you. Your will and the work of your hands will be remembered much longer after Uhuru Park. Rest In Peace.

12 QUOTES FROM ‘100 Years of Solitude’

Considered to be among the best books ever written, God bless Gabriel Garcia Marquez for writing ‘100 Years of Solitude.’ It’s no wonder he was awarded the Nobel Prize in literature in 1982.

I really loved the book and how it had so many stories that eventually streamline into one long story. This book is about the struggles that a family’s lineage encountered over a century, the most profound being solitude.

I particularly fancied it’s dark magic. The correct literary word for that style is ‘Magical Realism.’ Look it up. In fact Gabriel has since been considered as having been the father of the literary ‘Magical Realism.’ This style allows for characters and events to live on past their deaths without any prior explanations from the writer.

This book will give you an idea of the importance of a people’s history. It will make you realize how important the past is as it determines the present. It will make you cherish the present as it determines the future generations. If you have a brave heart, trust me when I say that you will appreciate this enchanting tale. If you aren’t brave enough, this is what will make your heart solid. Here are my best quotes from the book, enjoy!

1. The best friend a person has is one who has just died.

2. ‘‘She had fallen asleep without putting out the candle and had awakened surrounded by flames… Since then the grandmother carried her from town to town, putting her to bed for twenty cents in order to make value of the burned house. According to the girl’s calculations, she still had ten years of seventy men per night ….  He felt the irresistible need to love her and protect her. At dawn, worn out by insomnia and fever, he made the calm decision to marry her in order to free her from the despotism of her grandmother and to enjoy all the nights of satisfaction that she would give the seventy men. But at 10 o’clock in the morning, the girl had left town…”

3. The secret of a good old age is simply an honourable pact with solitude.

4. To a neighbour woman who brought her a set of candles so that she could light up the picture of her lost lover with them, she said with an enigmatic security: “The only candle that will make him come is always lighted”

5. “Her heart froze with terror as she connected her daughter’s evening baths with Mauricio Babilonia. She asked the mayor to station a guard in the backyard because she had the impression that hens were being stolen. That night the guard brought down Mauricio Babilonia as he was lifting up the tiles to get into the bathroom where Meme was waiting for him, naked and trembling with love … A bullet lodged in his spinal column reduced him to bed for the rest of his life. He died of old age in solitude, without a moan, without a protest, without a single moment of betrayal, tormented by memories that did not give him a moment’s peace, and ostracized as a chicken thief.”

6. The anxiety of falling in love cannot find repose except in bed.

7. “Aureliano thought without saying so that the evil was not in the world but in some hidden place in the mysterious heart of Petra … Intrigued by that enigma, he dug so deeply into her sentiments so that in search of interest he found love, because by trying to make her love him he ended up falling in love with her.” (Oh this is so Beautiful, I love it

8. “Madly in love after so many years of sterile complicity, they enjoyed the miracle of loving each other as much at the table as in bed, and they grew to be so happy that even when they were two worn-out old people they kept on blooming like little children and playing together like dogs.”

9. One minute of reconciliation is worth more than a whole life of friendship.

10. “The body of the twins were placed in identical coffins, and then it could be seen that once more in death they had become as identical as they had been until adolescence … In the tumult of the last moment, the sad drunkards who carried them out of the house got the coffins mixed up and buried them in the wrong graves …”

11. “He replaced the curtain and the canopy of the bed with new velvet … At six in the morning they came out naked from the bedroom, drained the pool and filled it with champagne. They jumped in en-masse, swimming like birds flying in the sky … He remained wrapped up in himself … The children had become tired and gone in a troupe to the bedroom, where they tore down the curtains to dry themselves, and in the disorder they broke the rock crystal mirror … an destroyed the canopy of the bed in the tumult of lying down. When Arcadio came from the bathroom he found them sleeping in a naked heap in the shipwrecked bedroom. Inflamed, not so much because of the damage as because of the disgust and pity that he felt for himself in the emptiness of the saturnalia, he armed himself with an ecclesiastical cat-o’nine-tails that he kept in the bottom of his trunk … He drove the children out of the house, howling like a mad man and whipping them without mercy as a person would not even have done to a pack of coyotes. He was done in, with an attack of asthma that lasted for several days and that gave him the look of a man on his deathbed.”

12. “Gaston was a pilot … On weekends he would pick her up where she lived … They began to love each other at an altitude of fifteen hundred feet in the Sunday air of the moors, and they felt all the closer together as the beings on earth grew more and more minute … He wasn’t only a fierce lover, with endless wisdom and imagination, but he was also, perhaps, the first man in the history of species who had made an emergency landing and had come close to killing himself and his sweetheart simple to make love in a field of violets.”

Can’t get enough of Gabriel’s beautiful ability of manoeuvring words. It’s now fourty-four years since its first publication, do I really have to insist any further on why you should read this book? If  I were you, I would read it now if not in six years. the gist will be for those who will read it when it’s fifty and subsequently a hundred years old  As for me, am moving on to his other book, ‘The Story of a Shipwrecked Sailor.’ Which I am yet to purchase.

BONUS: Sujata Bhatt is a famed Indian poet. His sentiments on One Hundred Years of Solitude, “ I don’t think any book has shaped world literature to the extent that the internet has in the past 25 years.  I believe that the last book that has had a significant impact on world literature was One Hundred Years of Solitude.” Quote via, http://www.wasafiri.org/index.asp

Notes we can play …

Can I be your muse? Let me amuse you when you are sad. Use me to get a tad more inspiration when you are down. Let me be your admiration when you touchdown at home. Let our combination be a culmination to be renown all over town and beyond. Let me be your comfort station where your train stops. Rain or shine, let me be hot for you but not too much to cool your vexations.  I might be shy but, indeed you will help me be all the things you need.

Can I be your music? Like the notes of a song, let us be intrinsic. Let me be your antidote when you need a remedy. Like a melody, I will use my euphony to blow your mind. You are the kind of man who deserves nothing less of these musical hues. Like the colours of the wind let my composition take you away. Like I am gone with your painting, let it be your ambition to find me. Like I am the masterpiece let it be your ultimate mission to have me.

Can I be your precinct? Not of a building but can our hearts be in-sync? Like a healing we can start afresh. Nothing demeaning let this not be about flesh but spirituality. Let not sex take over the sensuality but love-making. Let this not be about individuality but companionship. Like a ship wreck we will conquer the test of time. Heck we will be like a dime. I will occur in your accounts, not the bank but in your everyday plans.

Can I be your ink? Let me write deep into your heart. Let me inscribe this prose inside of you. Like a rose let me describe myself to you. Let my art flourish in true. So our friendship will pass the test of time. Even though I cry, I am laden as a thorn. Ready for the hardships. Let my petals soothe you. Like metals, let our alchemy be a smooth sail through. Like an academy we will have our own accolades. After the barter trade, we shall be left with only one thing, ‘notes to play.. ‘

So are you game?

Dear Fear,

Hey. Hello fear. Sometimes you are so near it freaks me out. At night when I pray you disappear but then when I don’t you reappear. You grip my heart, you strip me of my art, you rip me apart but I am still intact, just so you know. When I am low, you attack. When I am alone you distract me but by the larger part I am still me. Always will be, so leave.

Hello fear. You make me suppress my gifts. It’s like it surprises you that I am an empress. If I don’t express my needs then how will I get ahead of the rest? If I fail to pass your test, then you win. If I don’t chase you away from my nest, who will? If I say that I wasn’t afraid then I would be lying. The same way I can’t keep hiding from you, while dying inside. You no longer reside in me, so leave.

Hello fear. Let go of me so I can live in peace. But it’s not that easy, is it? If I believe in me then why do you still persist? If I resist to confront you now, then maybe you will keep insisting. You can’t be in front of me, so get back. Like a dog you keep barking at me, while I am the log which keeps lacking the strength to combat you. I now fight you, so leave.

Hello fear. You try to cripple me by causing ripples in my life. When I lost in the battle of love, it made me stronger. I moved onwards then I heard your rattle in the face of losing my job. I panicked but I surfaced with a lot, experience. Your appearance persisted as my friend jumped the hurdle unto heaven. I lost my mind but eleven months later, everything combined I found peace, so leave.

Hello fear. You are forceful but there is a stronger being, God. It’s all cool because I live through Him. You must have no clue that He protects me. That He is the connector to all things. That He is the forgiver to all the sins. That He Is the giver of life. You can’t see through this because you are blind, just leave my life’s stride. It might be a long and weary ride, but it’s one I am willing to take on, without you.

Hello fear, goodbye.

Introducing Bez with SUPERSUN

Bez has an air of coolness around him. About 5’10” tall, he’s rocking a grey fedora, wayfarer glasses, a white tee, an African beaded chain and slightly cropped up denim trousers leaving his argyle brown and turquoise socks peeping from the shoes. While in action during his first stage-performance and visit to Kenya, he transcends into a sweet-voiced guitar playing musician. This is exactly what I will settle for if I don’t get married to a tall, dark & handsome man

I first stumbled on Bez music via a fellow music junkie (some drugs are actually good). I thought that Bez was just another one of those cool American kids, for real. Well, after I heard ‘Zuciya Daya’ a little research led me to discovering that Bez is actually from Nigeria. One of those impressive eureka moments! I was lured into knowing him better when I got to understand the message in the song ‘Zuciya Daya.’

Most recently, I was hit by great news that Bez would be visiting the country for a jam-session (a series of random-acoustic gigs displaying budding and talented artists organized by Blackman and Sara) I couldn’t wait to buy myself a copy of ‘Super Sun’, Bez debut album released on July 24^th 2011. Experiencing a taste of acoustic-Bez was really great! Not to mention, when his drummist played, even the statues at the MJ center did the Kemboi dance .. Walalala! Nway I am glad to share this review of ‘Super Sun.’ with you all;

1. Super sun 4.15

Contemporary R&B fused in a little jazz. Life is definitely about ‘ups and downs.’ This song is an assertion that despite the struggles one day you will be at your brightest. It basically tells you not to be afraid of stretching into your ultimate limit. Quite the inspirational entry into the album!

2. Over you 3.49

This one has a modern ’Earth, Wind & Fire’ feel fused in a John Legend ‘Green light’ feel. Here Bez obviously flaunts his musical versatility. He sings to his jilted lover, asking for his keys to the car and the house, because he is now over her.

3. Zuciya Daya 5.07

Love this joint. It’s one of those feel-good tracks. Mellow and soulful. At the concert he (Bez) explained that in Hausa, his native language, the closest translation to ‘zuciya daya’ is doing something whole heartedly. It’s a serenade to a beloved saying, “Irrespective of all the problems that our relationship may encounter we should both be happy. But only if we do it whole heartedly. Someone teach me Hausa and see how I will start to pick bros, I KID Or maybe not.

5. Say 4.24

Ready is an important word. It means; to prepare mentally and physically for something. If you are in sync with your life, then you know that you have to be ready for a lot of things that life throws your way. Challenges, love, new appointments, sex, growth, relationships, heartbreak, sudden loss, windfall, the list is endless. Bez sings to a beloved asking her to SAY that she’ll be ready and waiting for him. Happily, she sings back saying, “I will be ready for you!” Definitely replay material- Neosoul redefined! The kind of song that makes you ask yourself, “I am ready?”

10. Stop pretending 4.09

Love love love this one! This is an acoustic song about a guy who was dating three different girls. He sings to them all, asking each one of them why they keep feigning that they don’t want him. Lost in their games, and their images on his mirror while shaving he leaves them all … Left me wondering, why was he dating THREE different women?

11. More you 4.27

If I had a list of my ‘Top 65 Best Songs ‘in the world, this one would still make it into Top 40. Love it too much I would freaking do a different post just to review it solo  If songs had distant relatives this one would be related to Maxwell’s ‘Playing possum’ and Sade’s ‘The safest place.’ It’s such a beautiful acoustic song. I really loved the violins. Like ‘Lazizi’ it’s guitar work makes the song. The message in this song is jumbled. At the concert Bez described the state of wanting more from the person you love because of the pleasure that never depletes. Love this song because it describes the state of humanity. We never get satisfied. We always strive for more which p.s isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

‘Super sun’ is made up of 12 tracks, 2 live covers and one remix. You NEED this album for those chilled-out days. It’s cool to hear such a contemporary-sort-of-John-Legend mellow sound coming from Africa. Bez, the world is yours! Special S/O to cool-peeps Blackman & Sara.

BONUS: While speaking to Black Roses Bez revealed his ultimate definition of Music. “It’s an expression of my feelings. I am very spiritual, in that whatever I sing about is inspired by God. He uses me to speak to my listeners via the music. It’s my tool,” said Bez.

For more info visit www.bezidakula.com

Photo courtesy of http://www.japho1.blogspot.com/

Too DEEP?

If your thoughts are in too deep that you can’t speak, what’s the need anyway? Just look at me in the eyes, let your pupils say what your heart feels. Let them dilate to the tempo of your heart’s beats per minute. That way I can’t hear you but I can see what you feel … Or are you afraid that I am too deep? Give me the palms of your hand and I promise I will read you through.

If it’s true that you are looking to grow old with somebody, I should let you know that I am that somebody. Hold my hand and don’t let go, or wait! Are your thoughts in too deep that you can’t speak? Kiss me you fool or you will never know how good it feels. I saw you in my dreams wandering by the sea like a lost soul. If you are drowning in your silence, let my lips resuscitate you.

 

“Love even in Protest”, sings Eric Wainaina!

There is a building at the well-groomed Kifaru gardens disguised as a house. Inside lies a recording studio, a music cum book library and even picturesque collections of Eric Wainaina’s musical journey. This was the venue for the listening party of his third album titled ‘Love and Protest.’ On that cold night, bonfires lit up the garden’s surrounding. Inside the ‘house’ was a different kind of fire fuelled by three special rooms separated by distinct sounds and tags on each door labeled, ‘Love’, ’Protest’ and ’Groovy’.

Up and about the partitions, guests sampled songs from ‘Love and Protest.’ Notable were groovy tracks like ‘Orutu special,’ a song bordering between the benga genre-fused with the orutu (a traditional Luo one stringed fiddle), this one made us (Wanjeri and I) dance at the first listen. The song ‘Mariana’ was harmonious and sweet sounding akin to the echo of saying that name. Ok, say ‘Mariana’… shhhhhh, hear the echo? Certainly a certified feel-good jam! (alliteration naaaayo! #ReasonsWhyIownThisBlog

Do you remember when the Wainaina-Factor shun corruption using the simple yet brilliant hit song ‘Nchi ya kitu kidogo’? Well the muse behind all that seems to be intact as if frozen by time and now ready to melt again. At the center of his compositions are messages gunning for reform. That Wainaina- Factor has now given birth to the song ‘Revolution’ which was written to give a voice to the disempowered. “There is a Che Guevara saying that goes, ‘All rebellion comes from a place of Love’. Like the rest of Kenyans, I was saddened by the post-election violence. In trying to make sense of the sad occurrence I realized that people protest where there is no love, and that said; protest is just part of patriotism. At the end of the day, after voting we are still one despite the different tribes,” said Eric.

‘The road’ is a song collaboration between friends. Eric and Senegalese world star Baaba Maal who enriched ‘Love and Protest’ by adding distinct sounds of mbalaax, a stamp of a Senegalese music style. “From the look of things Eric isn’t going anywhere. In fact, he seems to be all over the place of late,” that would be Africa’s testimony is she would talk. Eric most recently graced the Umoja festival in Maputo. Just weeks before that he was among a lineup of African musicians performing at the Arts Alive festival in Johannesburg, S.A. In a fateful twist that came to be Eric’s opportune moment to meet Nigerian born songbird Asa, who was also present at the festival. “Love and Protest was actually ready in 2008 but when I heard Asa, her sounds gave me  a whole new inspiration, enough to have stalled the album till now. Meeting her this year was amazing and I hope to work with her on a song in the near future,” asserted the multi award-winning singer, actor and playwright.

So, why don’t I usually get loads of such exclusive invites to listening parties? Kenyan musicians, iko nini? I warmed up to the whole idea and loved the execution, I enjoyed it! Eric backed by Aaron Rimbui on the keyboard and The Mapinduzi Band even gave us a live performance at the ‘house,’ Shukran to y’all! S/O to Nanjira.

BONUS: Love and Protest is Eric’s first self-produced album. It covers elements of reggae, benga and R & B. Eric & The Best Band in Africa launched the 14-track album in DEC 2011. I got my copy, get yours! For more information please visit ericwainaina.com

She is a WRITER …

She is not just a writer but a fighter. She will put down her tools of trade to protect you. On your birthday she will walk around town just to get you that gift. On a bad day she will be the one to lift your spirits up. When you’ve had a good day, you will want to share with her. That’s because she is a rare kind of ear. She listens with her heart. Then she writes with an art christen by a certain grace.

She is not just a writer but a fighter. She will be next to you even when you are a dog. That’s because besides the ‘mess’, God knows that she still sees the man inside you. Like a beautiful prose she will serve you delicacies at home. Unlike a lone lover she will have various specialties for you. Take for example, she is like a poem. Ready to give you little measures of her goodness set to leave you breathless.

She is not just a writer but a fighter. She will read you like a good book, cook you good food, $#@! you real good, fix your hood, tuck you in bed, all that and still keep her cool. See she is like a good storyline, she keeps building up on her profile. The plot will get thicker if you will underline the most important phrases. She is not a phase or a face for that matter so watch the thin line. She is the writer and you are the library. Let her stock the books!

A woman’s prayer …

She wants a strong man, but more importantly she needs one who will be hands-on while building a home. She doesn’t want to be alone in the house so she prays for a companion. In accord he should feel blessed under the union, and not oppressed by anything. He shouldn’t live by any code other than marriage.  A woman wants a man who will encourage her when she is down. When she is depressed, he will pick her up, lift her spirits up because he knows that she is an empress. It’s true that sometimes she is a mess, but she still prays for a good man.

She wants a friend, but more importantly she needs one who will lend her some empathy. She will be looking for a listening heart when she is hurt. She wants a friend whose dreams keep dancing close to hers. A friendship that is guided by the deep enhancing light of telepathy. A path into the sixth-sense, one that is blind to all humanity other than two acquaintances. A woman wants a friend who will help her pick up pieces of life, and bind them to complete the jigsaw despite the strife. It’s true that she hides a lot of things, but she still prays for a good friend.

She wants a child, but more importantly she needs one who doesn’t lie. She is hoping to have an honest child, in addition one who is respectful. One who will cherish the nest under which a family’s tradition is built.  A woman wishes for a beautiful child who will grow into a responsible and dutiful adult. One who will make their dreams possible through the hustle and flow of life. When she is old, low and stressed by the bustle of the city, the child will be her support system. She might seem uninterested but she prays. A woman is a stem off that branch of life, so how can she not pray for a child?

She wants salvation, not from the funny armies. She needs God. Like a nation, she needs His blessings and direction. She is looking for a relationship with the Almighty. She pleads for one that will leave her in reparation for any sin committed. She doesn’t want to be omitted when the heaven’s doors finally open. So she lets God do the tally, but in the mean time she intends to live a daily Christian life. The wrath of a woman has made her hate, even slide from her faith but that only means that she is human. She still prays for forgiveness.

She wants to protect Mother Earth, but more importantly she needs to connect with her. She feels the wind on her skin; this leads her to speak to the desert. It says that the world is an art that only she can understand, because she brings life into the standstill. She prays for a safer world, one that is guided by peace and equality, one that is led by wise men of tranquility and no discrimination. A woman prays for a world free of criminals but liberals. She is just a citizen with no power, but she still prays for a nation that will empower all mankind.

MEN on ‘MKZ’ language need simple schooling

Kenyan Facebook was über cool till one day decentralization took place. The cool kids moved onto twitter and the un-cool ones subsequently took over Facebook. It’s alright for people to move on, I mean MySpace is so 5 years ago, same with wearing the made in China high waist-cotton-trousers. However it wasn’t graceful for the kids who took over FB to turn an urban fable into a shagzmodoz phenomenon, hence it’s new pet name, Mukuru kwa Zuckerberg (MKZ). The new personality came with a lot of changes but the most outstanding had to be the MKZ Language.

It’s a breath of fresh air having to give that fly ass brother your number. You are waiting for that call. At least on that text message. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Then, it finally comes, the text! “Hae supuu, itwas gewd 2c u, xaxa wen kan we mit agen? Is lyk u fell 4fm heven.” Now these are the kind of things that render instant headaches! It beats me how such a fly, big, all strong and handsome man can write like that. I mean, if you can’t write to save your life, how can I trust you to save mine? This is my story set about a year ago. I don’t usually pursue on conversations that began on the MKZ Language platform but because this ‘strong tall, dark & handsome man’ was the brother to a friend (who FYI could text in correct English- ama baba alitembea?) I hoped that something would change overnight. Nothing did. After about 96 hours of gruesome texting, I was caught between having to ask him just why he wrote like that and most importantly who taught him to write like that because it had turned me off long before! However, I didn’t have to as our vibes just cooled down easily like the heat on ash after a fire.

His brother, my friend, then told me he said I was too much of a ‘Barbie’ for him, the English and all. Guys, If you are going to stop chasing after a girl because she writes grammatically correct, then you are a certified loser!

Looking for a man who can write is rather petty because you essentially want a man who can provide love, support, advice, care and respect et al but stop right there, MKZ Language enters the dating game as well as the professional world. I have seen a couple of emails in it. I was once going to some dude’s office to pick some tapes and he sent me a text saying ‘Get me a pack of DVDs at D Stalls’. I spent approximately 20 minutes looking for the shop called D stalls. Nobody seemed to know where that shop was located. On calling the dude, he said, “No, I meant THE stalls, any stalls around the office”. So I went on to ask him why he couldn’t have text with ‘THE’ stalls and he said, “Because these days people text how they speak.” Dude please, who says D stalls? Maybe Vybz Cartel, if you ask me.

Nway what good is a man who will embarrass me if he has to write a joint letter/email or just documents on our behalf? Worse still, having to re-read your texts three times to comprehend the message kills the gist of the intended excitement by the sender, so no need. I will not even go into reading Facebook and Twitter messages in the MKZ Language, I just ignore. Well, I have concluded that a man on MKZ Language needs simple schooling. I have only three steps:

1. Do not write the likes of xaxa, hae or bae to mean sasa, hi or bye.

Only imbeciles mean to use short form but in the end use a wrong form of the same number of words. Why are you saving on words anyway? You need to subscribe to the Safaricom unlimited text messages, it’s only 10 bob a day. Texting via Airtel is a bob. There is whatsapp and BBM services so what is your problem? Well twitter 140 characters is a problem, this calls for genius. Or just what are you up to?

2. Why divide your attention?

Colour is a good thing. It can also be a confusing thing when you try to add it the wrong way. When you add the MKZ Language into your general communication, do not expect to be taken seriously in a professional save social platform. Having to think of writing gewd, instead of good obviously had to take away your attention. What you fail to realize is that when the recipient opens that text message, their attention is divided as well. Instead of the text being the messenger, it becomes the subject.  You are however allowed to use other unorthodox languages only if you are the inventor, for who knows? You might be granted some bonus points for creativity!

3. Base your communication on the basic need.

It’s the FB era. What your friend writes is deemed as cool. You don’t want to be left behind as the fashion train takes off. However, if you care jack about communication look at the BASIC need. Otherwise, many probably want to show off those annoying short hand words, for whatever reason i will never know. But if you want to just say goodnight, write it like that. What is gwednit or gu9t?

I think it’s perfectly alright to exploit short hand through the use of certain abbreviations like FYI, SMH, LQTM, LOL ETC. My four-year old nephew just learnt how to write. Sweet litu-man, I am yet to receive his letters … Hope they are good. So guys, just so you know; a real woman wants a real man but he first has to learn how to write grammatically correct i.e. if he hasn’t already

7 Reasons to love your JOB like your man

1. The Search

Looking for a good man is just like searching for a good job. It has to satisfy you, keep you busy, provide for you and make you happy. Fundamentally if you leave either of the two, a good experience should be the ultimate by-product. It starts with the chase towards that interview which is just like going on a first date with a suitor. After applying for that job, and implying that you want John, you hope to have a chance for a sit down to expound on why you are best suited for the job. You wait on that email or phone call. You are nervous and anticipating. You even have a tentative outfit to wear for that meeting, and date. When you actually get that phone call to confirm on the interview, just like when he calls, you get butterflies. You don’t want to miss on that opportunity so they ask, “Is 3 P.M good for you?”You are supposed to pick up your niece from school or maybe you have that salon appointment but no, you make it sound like it’s cool, and that you haven’t been waiting for this phone call the most in the recent past. “That’s perfect timing, I will be there”, you confirm.

2. The Date is set

Just like before setting out on a date, you first have to get the right outfit to wear to the interview. You don’t want to look too flashy, too casual or too uptight. You want to mix it all up and leave the employer just like your suitor, wishing to see a tad more of where that came from. You look good, now you have to smell good. One of the longest moments in life thus causing perspiration is waiting to be called next into the interviewing room, same way waiting on that guy to show up. FYI, a man who is going to keep you waiting should be deducted at least some 10 points with immediate effect. Always carry your deo, body splash or perfume in your bag. No man will settle for a woman who smells like boiled ‘murenda’. Same way no employer will let a person with such an odor sit in their office, let alone at a desk near theirs.

You are now at the interview; it feels just like being on a date. Your first hope is to impress. Second hope is that you become the chosen one. You don’t want to go through a dozen job applications and interviews to get the right one, you just hope to be lucky to get that one job. Same way, you don’t want to spend a lifetime going on dates with frogs hoping to stumble on a prince; you just want to get that prince, even if it means settling down with the frog.

3. The interview

You have cleaned up nicely. It’s time to speak. You better have brushed your teeth. Bad breath sucks for any conversation, even worse when you might get kissed. Just like a date, at the interview; you find that measuring what comes out of your mouth is paramount. If you ever suffered from verbal diarrhea, this is the worst place to lose control over your bowels, so to say. At both scenarios; you don’t need to say something that won’t necessarily augment on your resume. In other words, don’t volunteer to give irrelevant information. Your employer will care that you are quite the ‘sporty type’ only if you are being interviewed to be a tour guide. On the other hand, if your date is a bouncer or the dude from the movie 127 Hours, then he will care that you rock sports. The vibes about having gone topless at the Maasai Mara, then the one about sleeping in Naivasha’s Hell Gate’s gorge, keep them to yourself. One day when you are best buddies with your boss and you are having drinks, you will unleash them then. As for your date, if you clinch on that lay, these will serve as interesting topics for pillow talk.

4. Grace period

After the date, and the interview; it’s the long await. Is the employer going to call? Is the suitor going to call? Sleepless nights and countless days, a bundle of nerves later and you are still staring at your phone. You finally get that call. “We would love to have you work with us!” He called and said that he really enjoyed the time he spent with you and would definitely love to see you again. Anyone know what time it is? *Swizz Beatz voice* It’s exactly Kemboi-dance o’clock

5. Months into the new Job / Relationship

You are getting used to the new environment. Same way, you are getting accustomed to having your man around. You are getting trained on how things are done at the new office, you have a new routine, probably a whole new set of duties. Same with your man, he is not like the rest. I mean, that’s why you settled in with him. There is a way he likes his things done, and to be done; to say the least. You get with the program.

6. Blending into the new Job/ Relationship

The ‘new office’ is now just your office. When you envy other offices or look for other jobs, they are like potential mistresses. You get that strong feeling that you are cheating. You have settled down with your prince. Sex is good, communication is even better. Talk is cheap so most times you are both busy doing stuff for each other. Your eye however can’t stop from appreciating other fly brothers. They want to flirt with you, sometimes you want to do the same, actually you do it once in a while; no sooner do you indulge than you get that guilty feeling that you are cheating.

7. Job/ Relationship satisfaction

Sometimes it’s not just working for you at the office, so you keep your ears on the ground and eyes high up like a hawk hoping to see a new venture. Other times everything is cool you just feel like you wouldn’t mind an additional freelance gig, so you go ahead and indulge in the side hustles. Same way, your relationship is on a plateau.  Your man’s loving is consistent and you need a rocky motion, so you lose concentration. All of a sudden all the men around your life look like Biko Adema and Michael Early. Your man isn’t satisfying you like he used to. If he is, sometimes you just want to taste other waters to gauge if they are as fresh. So you either take a chill pill or take on into that affair.

Summary.

Love your job like your man for they are painstakingly similar from Day 1. If by any chance you pass the 7 steps; do not cheat for it takes a lot of calculation. If you intend to grow old with that fly brother or frog (If that’s all you found), advance your relationship so one day it becomes a lifelong commitment. If you intend to grow into your job, aim for the stars as the sky might fall.

The lone poodle.

Most poodles from Runda, Ridgeways and such high-end residential areas have custom-made backyards, just to facilitate their need to exercise and run around. When they have to get out of their plush compounds, I am almost as certain as the sun will set that no big dog or monster would eat them. They walk majestically on the smooth terrain of roads, unaware of the meaning of potholes, mud and water puddles. Back in the house, these poodles must probably drink milk for breakfast,  eat biscuits and juice for brunch and then have bacon and steak for dinner.

I spotted a poodle in Harambee estate this morning. She wasn’t ordinary but still just what you would expect. She was miniature, the cutest walking creature and white in colour. Her litu-paws stood out as they constantly missed on the estimated count of how far she needed to jump across the dirty puddle of water. Out of every three jumps, she missed two. She was out-of-place as it was all muddy and no leafs in this suburb. She however seemed to be in her element because none of this stopped her from running wild as if searching for her lost soul. She must have not known that her colour white is a symbol of innocence and purity because she was running aimlessly blind to the dirt.

My sister was the first to see the poodle and she shrieked, “Look at that poodle! It should be in the house!” We were picking her friend who lived around the area where the poodle was. On asking about the poodle’s whereabouts, she said that it had no home and that it spent all its days just larking about.

I have been thinking about that poodle all day. I can’t understand how such a gem, the second most intelligent breed of  a dog could be homeless. It reminds me of a lot of things. I see a street child who should be off that hard-knock life. I see that beautiful woman who doesn’t deserve a battering husband. I also see that person who has given up on hope. If we look deep inside of us, we will find that we all have a poodle inside of us, running around wild waiting to be rescued. When we are faced with difficulties and harsh environments, we fail to walk with our heads up high. The poodle didn’t care that she was in the unkempt alleys of Harambee estate … Just like an unattended flower, she still blossomed. And just like the poodle, we all should too

How I fell in love with Paa Ya Paa …

It’s not only an art centre but at its centre is tranquility. The sun is blazing on the late afternoon when I arrive at the Paa Ya Paa on a motorbike that saves me the walk from the junction off Kiambu road. The silence is convivial, the birds are singing and the banana trees are flaunting their leaves.

Paa Ya Paa’s co-founder and director Mzee Elimo Njau receives me like his daughter. He hugs and welcomes me to a seat at the patio whose spectacle is unusual. On the floor is a lineup of little wooden sculptors of crocodiles and men. The women are carrying pots and the men are holding rungus. In between the assemble are three black cats standing and that mutual intimacy makes them all seem alive. Oblivious to the heat, Mzee brings me tea and sweet bananas. “It’s herbal and good for you, everything around here is authentic,” he tells me. The tea is really sweet, devoid of milk, I can taste lemon grass, honey, ginger and everything-nice.

When Philda Njau, Mzee’s wife of American decent who is also the international arts program coordinator at Paa Ya Paa arrives, she leads me to the main gallery. “Sit and have your tea here, look at the art pieces,” she warmly invites me.  I slowly walk around. Pure serenity. I already dread departure time even before the start of the interview. At the fore front of the gallery is a mural of Jesus surrounded by the 12 disciples. Among numerous art depictions I see Maina Gikonyo’s portrait of Dedan Kimathi, some graffiti and Chandvi Shah’s painting of beautiful butterflies lost in colour. I marvel at Louis Duval’s painting of a woman cooking from an African pot. In 1997 the Paa Ya Paa art centre was destroyed by an inferno in an electrical freak accident. Dubbed ‘In Love With Africa’, this is the gallery’s debut exhibition since it’s notable renovation. Mzee and Philda join me at the grandiose glass table, Philda bringing me chocolate brownies and soda. I am still drinking my tea. I am spoilt.

At the heart of the gallery is a roofless partition with a eucalyptus tree rooted in the middle. “Colonialists brought in the eucalyptus tree from Australia because it needed water and so the Kenyan soil fed it. It’s years later and to date the trees and soil have never quarreled. Just like the tree, art is sacred. At Paa Ya Paa we reflect the African personality regardless of colonialism, tribalism, traditions and civilization,” says Mzee.

Founded in 1965, Paa Ya Paa is the oldest indigenous art gallery in Kenya. It’s a modern-day miracle that in just 14 years, the centre re-built on its status despite the loss of art work collected over many decades. “Art is not a building but an indigenous spirit which brings to life the omnipotence of God as He is the spirit that never dies. It’s what saved us,” says Elimo an accomplished painter, sculptor and muralist.

The adjacent gallery has the sign ‘In Love With Africa’ at the entrance. Inside are portraits of African presidents by Boyd Oyier. At the front is Kibacia Gatu’s beautifully beaded collage of Wangari Maathai labeled ’The African mother.’ This room exalts African personalities.

The ruin section of Paa Ya Paa is out of this world! Take my word when I say that the fire artistically burned down the gallery. The wall, floor and doors debris are striking, especially when accessorized with the art pieces. “After the renovation, we wanted to hold a meaningful exhibition. Africa came to mind and when we called out, over 50 artists with over 140 art pieces answered,” says Philda Njau with a satisfactory beam.

The late James Kangwana was among a group of art lovers, writers and artists from allover Africa who founded the gallery whose age is nearly clocking half a century. He is the one who named the centre, Paa Ya Paa; a witty wordplay to mean an antelope rises. Antelopes have long legs and can run fast. In the long stride Paa Ya Paa is taking it easy. Wonder if James knew that one day, the centre would burn down to re-live it’s name.

Mzee and Philda later invited me into their home for dinner. Mzee even suggested that I should sleep over. I felt at home and wanted to; just that I would have no change of clothes for the next morning to work. Only last week Mzee called to ask why they hadn’t heard from me in a while. “You know we love you,” he said

“Kenyans appreciate art. They just don’t know that it’s in daily life. It’s how you arrange your flowers, your clothes, it’s the general order. While it’s true that art is abstract, it lives through your eyes in two forms; the tangible and intangible. At the end, art is about receiving and living. You are as much as an artist just by appreciating a piece of art. Same way you are a composer if you can value the music,” wise words from one of the fathers of East African culture & art Mzee Njau. As my love for Africa got re-acquainted, I fell hard in the acquainting of my love for Paa Ya Paa.

BONUS: AfricanColours ask Elimo Njau four questions

2011 goodness

An awesome year it was so I decided to segregate my highlights into the things I adore most; living, loving and writing.

Living

I obviously lived to see this day, so thank you God. I also thank family, friends and Grapevine fans for the support. In 2011 i met a brilliant Kerugoya kido, sigh. Read on him right here the-12-year-old-kerugoya-boy-%E2%80%A6

Hiking trip to Hell’s gate national park was adventurous. Riding a bike through the rough 8km terrain is no walk through an ordinary park. I fell off the bike a couple of times, some people tried to convince me to give up. I didn’t, and eventually made it to the gorge ready for another damning walk. It felt like life’s journey. People will discourage you but if you are tough, you should make it through. Speaking of which reading Lance Armstrong’s book titled ‘My Journey back To Life’- It’s not about the bike, redefined my understanding of self determination.

I also got my first modeling gig with True Love in their October issue fashion spread. The shoot dubbed ‘Spring date’ was a colourful impression in celebration of True Love’s 7th anniversary. Will post a picture or two as soon as I get them from super photographer Emmanuel Jambo. Thank you Sunny for everything. 

As for the reason why i write, it soothes me but THIS made my year —> blog-posts-that-speak-to-me-a-womans-prayer Stella, Black Roses is honoured to have been of inspiration.

Loving

Grapevine was really a fun ride, it was my second year at hosting and reporting at the show. We got a nomination for Kenya’s best entertainment show by Kalasha awards. Through the year, I conducted crazy interviews including EVE, Cecile and Elaine. And also the prestigious lead writer/ and executive producer of the Bold and The Beautiful, Richard Bradley Bell, bliss.

I grew up loving oldskul music, especially R&B. So when I got the chance to have a one-on-one with international R&B singer Donell Jones, I just felt like it was God send. It wasn’t an omg-donell-remove-your-pants moment (that was Fally Ipupa who i also got to interview). With Donell it was more like, God bless you for still holding it down for so gone is Montell Jordan, Case and most 90’s music groups. Read here the story I filed for UP Mag 505-a-toast-and-a-dance-donell-jones-in-nairobi

Music? Discovering Frank Ocean and Jahaziel was by far the best thing my ears and heart experienced in 2011. Thank you Raul and Masha respectively for that. A review on Jahaziel here the-still-livin%E2%80%99-mixtape-jahaziel

Books? ‘Love in the time of cholera’ was a beautiful read, thank you Wanjeri. 10 Quotes from the book here  10-quotes-from-love-in-the-time-of-cholera  I absolutely loved Khaled Hosseini’s ‘Kite Runner’. General best read goes to a feature titled ‘Best time to be alive’ from Intelligent Life magazine. Of all the places, this was my best  best-time-early-childhood

Thanks Octopizzo for introducing me deep into Kibera and Arusha, the slum’s Swahili food café with Ugandan chefs. Nakwambia, the true East- African bashment crew.

Thank you Wamathai for allowing me to host Wamathai december edition, together with Robert. It was a pleasure not peeing in my pants and seeing a successful end to the gig.

As for normal relationships, that didn’t happen. Not to say that I didn’t try sampling some fish off the proverbial ocean. I am still looking for a tall, dark and handsome man, who wears Neyo-fedoras and sings like Bez or Charlie Wilson. See, that’s why I am single

Writing

Arise (A definitive international style magazine on African art and culture) took me in as one of their freelance contributors from E. Africa, thank you Carinya. Here is my debut story for Arise, an interview with Winyo. P.S in my regard Winyo is the best musician from Kenya. Read the story here 101464

Also got a job promotion at Kenyan magazines UP (Urban Perspective) and Kenya Concierge. From a contributor, I became the staff writer at both Yaaay, to me! I felt best at ‘Music behind bars’, God bless you Insect and Natalie for the noble cause. Read on it here 453-freedom-through-sound

In the short time I have been blogging and writing professionally, in terms of hospitality and wisdom; Mzee Elimo and Philda Njau of the Paa Ya Paa art centre are at the top. Follow this link to read on my love affair with Paa Ya Paa how-i-fell-in-love-with-paa-ya-paa

Bonus pix, at Kinanda festival with Kev, Sweetawa, Wanjeri and Nanjira. Reumac took the pix, thank you.

2011 taught me a lot. At the front, how to dust myself, if I don’t succeed or get misunderstood. I look forward to 2012 mostly because I have no choice, how can I look back? I have had visions in the past, I always either surpass them or achieve different ones altogether. So as 2012 takes off, I delve in like a blind bird. No resolutions. I am ready to soar into the unknown.

‘Make way’ for Sara Mitaru’s debut single

Black roses makes way for Sara Mitaru in a celebration of the blog’s 100^th post and the first single-song review. Listen now! Complete with lyrics saramitaru.bandcamp.com.

This is Sara’s debut single, and only a week old. Make way is fresh and young. However its osmosis effect spreads by the day having already made a twitter TT and several high flying spots on radio. We are at a crucial moment when something’s got to give, even if it means less of ‘mikono juu ya hewa’ songs.

Kenya’s 2011 was a year marred by a crippled economy but a flipside of a sporty entertainment industry. Irrespective of societal roles, all Kenyans are needed to converge in messages that will emit positivity. Sara is doing her part and the longevity factor of ‘Make way’ can be felt.

They say we’re independent but they won’t set us free, they say we are sovereign but we are shackled and chained … But there’s a man down, head down with no food on his plate… Make way for the people today, make way liberation will say.

I want to storm into parliament and sing this line to all the politicians. That’ll probably get me arrested. So I want every youth to hear it and know that voting is either paving way for change or conformity. It oozes optimism for the dejected citizen in the world. It’s simply a case of ‘love at first listen’.

The song is a beautiful island. It has no country’s particular musical stamp, giving it more of a world-music feel. The instrumentals in the first 30 seconds are alluring, a fusion of the piano, bass guitar and various strings. About 45 seconds later, Sara’s singing is a marriage of sorts…with the band. The strong beat will leave you bobbing your head if not tapping your feet.

Sara sings about a lot of things, from love, maziwa lala-yes, the plight of children and women to emancipation. Her debut album will be out in 2012, potentially the most befitting gift anyone could get me in this century.

She is also appointed as a UN messenger of truth and an advocate of the UN MDGs. In modesty she speaks of her conviction, “It’s not the title but the ability to sing freedom songs in different spaces where voices will be heard.”

Sara is powerful. Her voice is peanut butter smooth, and sweet, enriched with husky bits. If a secret society kidnapped you and left you in the dark (not that you’d notice) you still wouldn’t miss the voice. Never mind that some of you haven’t heard her music before.

Written and produced by Blackman, Sara’s producer, ‘Make way’ is a fit freedom song. I see my mother jamming to it at the same measure with the thirsty man sitting under a tree in Uhuru park. It would make a great soundtrack to a movie. Heck it would make a good anthem for Kenyans.

BONUS: Follow this link for a FREE Make way download SARAMITARU

Of his colour, music & paint …

I am in love with an artist. He is colour before my eyes. In front of his, I am fallen manna. I am a gift that sits pretty. I am the muse that lifts his spirits. He is needy of a piece of art- me; so yes, I am amused. He is never petty but keen on me- his inspiration. See I feel at peace when he stares into my eyes in adoration. It’s as if I am naked in a garden of exploration. Not of Eden but of a lake of plenty. Not water but of hefty love.

I am in love with an artist. He is music to my ears. And to his, I am the intrinsic song that never ends. As I play his well written notes, he finds joy in my deep well of hidden lyrics. See, he is seasoned in his field, I can tell by the sound of his melody, soothing. It’s as if I am bound by his entirety, cooling. In reality it feels like a beautiful rhapsody that only he can mould and uphold.

I am in love with an artist. To me, he is a painter. To him, I am the canvas. On some nights he puts the brush down and recites me a verse. His might- lies in colours so he uses them sparingly, no rush. They are not made of oil but love, sometimes I blush.  Oh … He is patient, so whatever time he never gives hurriedly. I am his precondition so I never leave undoubtedly. We are some kind of addition to art. Inside my heart it feels like we are an ocean connected by emotions. Silent, peaceful and deep.

The bird & itself.

It’s great living here but I miss my other self. I love my cage but I miss my other home. The cage is big and neat. Someone always comes to clean up, plus I am tidy so I hardly make it too dirty. He is my owner, a good man. I knew he is a man because in my previous life, I was a woman. I sing a lot but he doesn’t understand my songs though sometimes he stares at me like he does comprehend. I wish I could talk. If I did, I would ask him his name.

The man bought me at a carnival. I don’t remember how I got there. The last memory I have before that was being a woman. I was in a hospital. Can’t quite recall my name but I remember my husband’s, he was Tim. I remember the look on his eyes when the doctor said that I wouldn’t make it. “Don’t leave me,” the last thing I heard him say. I felt the same towards him just that words couldn’t come out of my mouth. That was the last of my-self, in that form.

The man took me out to the fields only once and let me fly away. The world was so beautiful from up there. All the people looked small and harmless. The sea was one big blue and the farms were in pattern. I felt free- like if I flew far away, I would find my other self. I didn’t, though I met Tim. I flew past a cemetery and I saw him laying flowers on a headstone. He was crying so I flew over to his shoulder. He did not even twitch or look at me. “Silly bird”, he must have thought. I felt his pain, he was mourning over my past self. If I could talk I would let him know that I was there with him, I never really left.

I just want to fly away so I can see the world’s beauty and Tim, again. I did come back to my cage. I stay in too long, I can tell- the man doesn’t want me to get lost in the world. I am now sure that even if I got lost, I will never meet my other self. I finally realize that now I am just a bird. I long for the day when the man will set me free, for I will not run …

A mystery into Lord Egerton’s castle …

From Molo, it’s a scenic 30 minutes drive that my family and I enjoy. We arrive at ‘the place where the suitor missed the target’. Not my words but the tag line on the brochure I pick at the gate on my way into the Lord Egerton castle. I am wowed at my first sight of a castle; grandiose and whimsical. In a split second I imagine seeing a beautiful damsel in distress with flowing hair peeping from the medieval sight of the parapet, wishful thinking. This magnificent 53 room castle lying a few meters off the Nakuru- Eldoret highway about fifteen kilometers from Nakuru town was built by Lord Maurice Egerton Tatton, the fourth and last Baron Egerton of Tatton  (1874 – 1958).

Robert Onyiego is a bubbly elderly man in his 80′s. He was the castle’s manager and also the favourite of Egerton’s mere ten Luo servants, he tells me. “Lord Egerton loved a Luo man’s work ethic and we did not ask him any questions,” says Robert who two decades later has become the castle’s caretaker and tour guide.

Lord Egerton was a smart man. An aviator, photographer and filmmaker who loved architecture. He was among the first white settlers to conquer the Kenyan white highlands. He finally settled in Ngata farm where he owned an extensive farm and prairies that stretched all the way from Rongai to Nakuru. If you were a man owning such acres of land in the first quarter of the 20th century, you wouldn’t only be stinking rich but freaking eligible! If you owned that kind of land now, ditto and at any one time I can bet that any sane woman would fall for that package, i am wrong.

Lord Egerton was a strange man. He was meticulous to the letter, possibly a tyrant and above all, lonely. Like most of us, he wanted nothing but love. Robert looks grim as he narrates perhaps the only true and modern East African bitter-sweet-fairy-cum-love tale. An Austrian woman came to Kenya from overseas to visit Egerton, her fiancée. At that time Egerton was living in a thatch-like six bed roomed dwelling that echoed his love for African culture. To the lady not only were his quarters unimpressive, but they reflected on his entire bid to marry her. “I can’t live in a house the size of a plane!” she said. Marriage talks failed flat on Lord Egerton. The lady went back to London and soon got married to another man.

Egerton’s spirit was broken, enough to build a wall inside his heart, and a castle surrounding his existence. “Contrary to popular theory that after being jilted by his lover, Egerton built the castle to re-impress her; he actually build the castle to appease only one thing, his solitude,” says Robert. Among the things banned from the castle’s ward was live chicken and dogs because his former lover had compared his house to a chicken’s hut and a dogs kennel. However, Egerton’s Achilles heel was women. “He gave us orders never to mention even the word ‘female’ in his castle and its extensive 100 acre ward. Accompanying one to the castle was unfathomable,” says Robert.

Thanks to Egerton’s absence, I walk freely up the flight of stairs leading into the castle. On the left of its ground floor is a dilapidated yet classic ball room that closely resembles the one from the Titanic, yup. Now empty and only home to a broken piano and the architectural prowess, Robert shows us a corner near a large window where Egerton would sit under a golden curtain as orchestras and seasoned musicians from abroad played him symphonies. “He loved music so he invited artists from far and wide. This floor had coloured carpets with gold plating and the shelves by the windows all had clocks and cutlery made of gold,” reminisces Robert.

The walk through the 4 storey castle feels like a time travel into chivalry. The man had mastered his delectable traits, I can tell by the large wine cellar situated in the basement. The castle has many bathrooms which all had electrical machines to warm the towel and dry the hair; at least four to himself, the rest for male kids, guests and the ladies, despite the irony that no woman took a shower in there during his tenure. There’s a large safe, two food stores; one was for imported foods and the other for local products. “The kitchen had a mini slaughter-house. The chef would have to shower and perfume himself before cooking Lord a meal. A doctor would drive from Nakuru twice a day to come inspect his food,” says Robert.

It also surprises me that all the rooms are numbered. Lord Egerton’s bedroom door number is 20 and locked. “It still has some of his personal effects, “Robert explains. “All 53 rooms were numbered because we had a lot of businesses running around here, it was easier that way to avoid getting lost,” he adds.

The love story goes on as narrated by Robert. Together with Egerton’s close links they tried to find him another woman so that one day she would inherit his vast property, a realistic but sad reason if you ask me. They found him an American black woman. Still wary of his feelings Egerton went into a thorough background check on her. He found that she had been married with kids in Australia. Poor Egerton, his last hope shattered.

The luxurious castle was built between 1930 and 1940. “It’s stones and zinc tiles were shipped from Europe and Asia, the builders specifically 100 Red Indians from America,” says Robert.

It’s the castle where Lord Egerton lived in loneliness or found fortress (heck- who really knows?) with his servants till 1958 when he succumbed to what Robert described as lung complications. This was after having flown twenty five doctors into the country to fix him. It’s sad that they couldn’t even save his life. He was buried in Nakuru. All his gold and movable wealth was sent to his family in London. His last surviving sibling died the same year as him. The castle is now an art just two decades shy of a century in age, also a tourist attraction of international repute. It is now under the stewardship of the Egerton University which Lord Egerton himself also established.

I am curious if Lord would turn in his grave if he knew that women were today visiting his castle let alone getting married on its picturesque lawn. “I haven’t thought much about that as Lord is long gone,” Robert is taken aback. “I miss his lifestyle, he bought us many gifts; I remember he got me a motor bike, three suits and ties,” says Mzee Onyiego who is now putting on a ragged trench coat and a hideous hat.

I learn that if anyone looks down on you, you should go on and prove them wrong by building yourself a castle! Well, metaphorically It’s about making the best out of every situation. But for it to be at the expense of your closure is wanting … I am still mystified after my safari into the Lord’s castle of love.

6 responses to Lord Egerton’s castle Reply

Kimani Mburu stumbled upon my post on the Lord Egerton’s castle. He sent back by far the longest reply I have ever received. I loved his mind, life policy and interpretation of the whole Egerton saga so I asked him if I could blog his reply as a new post, he agreed Below is Mburu’s castle encounter, a reply to my post. After a slight edit this is black roses FIRST GUEST POST. In the end are six responses from me to him. 

Wonderful read Anyix.

My cousin Kim, my brother Múgo and I visited our late grandfather Kímani at the KARI Research Institute in Njoro sometime in the late 90′s. I must have been around twelve, Kim was even younger. On the second day of our visit, our teenage aunties Shiro and Hiúko took us on a tour to Egerton Castle. The castle we saw was quite different from what you describe …

It was decrepit and in a terrible state of neglect but we were understandably excited. It was overgrown with weeds and there was no one about, save for a boy of about thirteen who showed us around. The flower beds and gardens were unkempt. The lawn was still impressive though. The rooms were filthy and long-deserted, begging for a coat of paint. I remember the ball room with the broken piano. I tried to push the piano around on its rusted casters. I marveled at the strength of whoever it was that moved it there (probably Mister Robert).

There were so many bathrooms with heavy metallic bath tubs and ornate taps and things. Some doors were locked too. In the manner of children, we settled quickly into a game of hide and seek. I guarantee you, that was my childhood’s best game ever. We hid in every corner, to emerge upon discovery, gloriously draped in cobwebs. There is no corner we did not visit, we even went up among the trusses in the roof, and the space there was cavernous and dark, save for arrows of light shooting down from holes in the shingles. We could even see clusters (hordes, flocks, herds, bunches) of bats dangling from the roof beams, oblivious to our presence.

We marveled at everything with childish wonderment. I remember the grand sweeping staircase at the entrance, with the lions (they couldn’t have been sphinxes, their noses were intact) standing on guard. I may not have been very perceptive then, but I recall being impressed by one; the sizes of the rooms. And two; the richness of the fittings, odds and ends. The doors were also exceptionally heavy, and the creaked suitably, like you’d expect them to in an old house.

We got separated several times, and all the shouting and hollering would not help, for the sound would just bounce and echo through the empty halls, that was great! For all its spooky appearance at the time, Egerton Castle was far from scary. Coming at a time when we read The Famous Five, The Secret Seven (and thought Enid Blyton was a man), Hardy Boy’s and all. This was a most thrilling adventure that found itself in many compositions and inshas, without a need for too many embellishments.

I can’t remember many of the details you mention here as time has dimmed my memory. And as kids, we obviously spied things through a different lens. We did not have the benefit of a thoroughly versed guide like yours, so I must say the history in your post makes for an interesting read. It is amazing what the men of the British empire could achieve (for all their ills). It’s also a shameful testament, at least to the Kenya of the 90′s that such a wonderful, rich piece of history would lie in ruin. It is a relief to learn that it has been restored. And can they fix the piano too?

From your short account Egerton was an impressive man. These men of olden days always strike me as having been men of profound strength, character and resilience. I imagine that Egerton’s standards and expectations on companionship were the primary cause of his solitude. I admire that. Most men of yore were all round impressive. They fought and died in wars and lived at a time when life was ‘nasty, brutish and short’ (Hobbes). They were men of grit. Men of higher ideals. Thinkers onto themselves. Unlike us today, hedonism among these men’s priorities.

We can safely deduce that despite his obvious wealth, he was not an avaricious man, given that he was before living comfortably in a thatched house. Your characterisation of ‘poor’ Egerton and his ‘shattered’ search for love is so characteristically effeminate I imagine it would bother any woman to see a successful man so unencumbered by the pedestrian preoccupation with companionship. To me, i think he was a man who lived his life to the fullest. His resumé says it all; Frontiersman, farmer, aviator, film maker, photographer, lover of music, educationalist and a man of wealth. This does not strike me as a man who can have ‘his spirit broken’ by a departing Austrian Fräulein. In fact this is the kind of man who can win a woman over if he set his mind to it. Presented with the shoes of his life, I would gladly give up the false security of home and hearth, for this bush-jacket-with-many-pockets life. But it is okay to romanticize. It lends a certain poignant quality to the story. I still think it is probably not true. What if Lord Egerton had settled with the Austrian Fräulein in his thatch house? Would there be a castle to write about?

This man was cast from the same mould as two other Englishmen. Dr. William Geoffrey Griffin, OGH, MBS, OBE and Sir. Wilfred Patrick Thesiger, CBE, DSO,FRAS, FRGS (OMG?). Both these men shunned the matrimonial way in life and dedicated themselves to greater causes. Had they chosen otherwise, I doubt they would have so much alphabet after their names. These men may not have borne offspring, but their names will endure longer than their peers’, even longer after their bones turn to dust.

This trio of Englishmen, Egerton, Griffin and Thesiger were all accomplished outdoors-men. Griffin spent many years surveying the Kenyan wild and a few years as a soldier. He was a big game hunter and a scoutmaster. Thesiger was a world-renowned explorer, an honorary Game warden in Turkana for many years, a decorated soldier too. I think such an intimate connection with nature inured such men against the need to travel other well beaten paths.

The lesson I take away from Egerton’s saga is to define and chart the course of my life the best way I know how, and to take ‘The Road Less Travelled’ (Frost). It is also very possible that Egerton just discovered very early on that ‘bitches be crazy’ and did the smart thing. In another time, in this place, I will endeavour for a life that will take me away from the concrete jungle, down a road less travelled, to a place of solitude, like Egerton’s Ngata Farm and castle, like Griffin’s sojourns across the Kenyan wild, like Thesiger’s Abbysinia, Arabia, Sudan and Turkana. To a bucolic place, with cows and trees. A faithful dog and a butler, a Man Friday of sorts, a kind of My Man Jeeves. I am sure Egerton had a butler.

All this is if life allows me. For a life of solitude is not of necessity a bad thing. There ought to be such a thing as hermetic splendour.

It’s more than a decade since that late evening walk we took from the castle back to Njoro. We were very happy. My bro Múgo is now married, same as aunt Hiúko. We are all much older. I have since grown distant from my aunties. That’s what growing up does to people. Your post brought back a cache of sweet childhood memories, the closest we ever come to time travel.

The musical world of Mutinda

George Mutinda’s songwriting skills have won him a global award. That however doesn’t change much of the humble man– who will talk about such big things only if you ask him. It’s late afternoon on a hot Saturday. I am meeting Mutinda at the French cultural center’s splendid jardin where I am interviewing him for one of my TV shows. Before the start he kindly asks to sing for me. Who can say no to that?

Equipped with only his guitar and voice, he’s got a super power to make a 3-min song sound like it lasted a mere 30 seconds. “Is it over?”, I ask. He laughs and starts to play another one. I can’t really comprehend how he is not mad at me for keeping him waiting for an hour. I also can’t comprehend how I can feel this song’s reminiscent echo despite the fact that I cant understand it’s words sang in Kamba, Mutinda’s native language.

He is singing a song titled ‘Vala vandu’. It means, that place. “It’s about familiar strangers. It could be a person in your country or from any other place in the world. Sometimes you have just an instance with someone and the effect they leave on you usually lasts forever. That’s it. Most times when you look back you realize that you never got the chance to thank them for the inspiration they left you. That’s what this song is about,” he explains and I conclude that this guy is some-kind-of-deep.

He is soft-spoken. When he sings though, there is a certain strength and passion to it. “In Kenya my songs are termed as afro-acoustic. Beyond borders it’s called world music. I like that a lot because world music are songs inspired by African traditional folk. It’s basically music for the ears of a global audience. Most times you can tell of a song’s roots, be it from west or South Africa,” says Mutinda.

The singer/guitarist has toured among other places the Schengen countries and USA, all in pursuit of exporting his African sound. “All my concerts were sold out but I was shocked to make a revelation that people out there don’t know much about the East Africa sound. We need to spread it out more,” he asserts. Is there a unified East African sound? Mutinda says, “The East African sound is diverse, we have many colours that should be spread across the world. Striving to have one sound is like a horse without a tail.” Oh this is a wise guy. Among his local musical influences are KK Kilonzo, Eric Wainaina, Suzzana Owiyo, Abbi and Winyo though his overall inspiration comes from every single one of his daily life’s encounters, he tells me.

In 2005 Mutinda emerged as the top male artist in the inaugural Spotlight on Kenyan Music Competition. In 2009 he performed at the Sauti Za Busara festival in Zanzibar. The same year ’Matopeni’, his debut album was released. The album is very cool, definitely not for the hot heads. The ten tracks are a mix of jazzy rhythms, afro- acoustic sounds with some contemporary vibes, all sang in Kiswahili and Kamba. In 2011 his song ‘Simama’ won in the world music category for best song in the prestigious International Songwriting Competition (ISC) held in USA.

“There was a call for entries and i applied just for the kicks. There were over 15,000 entries from all over Africa so it’s unbelievable that my song made it through into the final sixteen and eventually to the top!”, he exclaims with a satisfactory shine. “That’s huge! Was there a prize?” I excitedly ask him. “There is always a prize,” he calmly informs me. I am happy for Mutinda though when it comes to hoisting our Kenyan flag on the world map I am ashamed that not as many Kenyans know much on people of such caliber. ”The world appreciates art more than Kenya does. Maybe my style appealing more to the world than in Kenya has made me the prophet who is not recognized in his home. Artists also need credibility at home. Athletes run for Kenya and so do we but through music,” he says. Je suis d’accord.

Mutinda also co-founded acoustic nights, a bi-monthly event that gives a live music platform to Kenyan musicians. The event is held at Sippers restaurant. He also performs at Tapas in Village market on a bi-monthly basis. His plans for 2012 is to have more of his live music performances recorded citing a need to maintain the freshness.

I am a big bathroom singing star. And lately i have been considering taking my career to the next level — songwriting! So i want in on Mutinda’s secret even though he knows not of my secret dreams He actually thinks about it to an extent of pulling a few strands of his dreads. “The secret to songwriting is patience and a captivation to thyself. If your song doesn’t resonate with you then it’s not worth any audience,” his advice to all the bathroom and outside-the-bathroom dreamers.

Mutinda is a self-taught musician. He started singing and playing traditional stringed instruments way before his teens. With his first salary he bought himself his first guitar. The rest is history.

BONUS: In the video of ‘Simama’, Mutinda featured the Pamoja Dance Group, an integrated mix of dancers with and without physical disabilities. If that wasn’t beautiful, then i don’t know jack about beauty. For more info check Mutinda’s website

The freedom prayer

I want to be free–to feel the sea when I stand close to it. I want to find closure even when I can’t see the future. I want to believe in myself even when I fall. If I don’t have anything at all, I want to dream at all costs. For what’s it all for if I cant be happy? I want to seek the Lord’s guidance in all my days. That even in my heydays I may remain in serenity and humility. I want to find spirituality and the meaning beneath our individuality. I want to understand sexuality. I want to stand in the rain and feel the pain of the clouds for they cry too. I want to look around and not search for anything for it’s all before my blinded eyes waiting for me to be free.

I want to be free–to be art. For nothing will ever bruise or hurt me. I will be what you perceive me to be. For even I don’t know who I am–I am just human. In my art I want to be conceptual while at the same time contextual. My medium will be inspiration and not you. But if you stir my emotions then so be it, I will give you more. I want to be prolific. I will not be tied down to anything specific but diversity. So I want to sin, with you if you wish. Create and experience a city of hues with you. You might be as lost and unsure as I am but fate will ensure that we are set free.

Even when I am blind, I want to be free–to paint beautiful colours. I want a love that binds me to God. One that lies between me and just one man–his eyes will tell it all. I want to enjoy life, rip its fruits in no haste. I want to taste life’s pleasures like your lips and spicy tea. Chase after the suns rays, enjoy the wines of the great and eat food from your plate. I want a peace of mind. The kind that grants me the bravery to ask for things and not be afraid of getting nothing. For what’s a man, snap!-woman, with nothing if she’s got trust in herself? Probably everything & free

4 Guys give 4 tips to making a man right

“Why are you still single?”–The dreadful formulaic question explored all year round but with an emphasis on the period around Valentine’s Day. Who said February is the month of love? It is Black history month. As a matter of fact, love and Black history are two things that should be celebrated all year–blog post for another day.

Back to matters relationships–most often than not the person inquiring on whether you are single will not be asking you out; neither will they be providing you with a solution. They are just prying. And you don’t like it. No one likes questions with the potential of making them have frightful thoughts of dying alone-and-single. Well, I don’t.

While recently window-shopping with a friend, a simple conversation led him to ask me that damning question. And just like I always carry my lip gloss, I never miss that formulated answer, “Haven’t found the right guy”. To my surprise he hit back and said, “You don’t find a right guy, you make a guy right”—and that ladies and gentlemen, forms the basis of this post.

Think about it, a majority of single women’s scapegoat for singlehood is the search or wait for the right guy.  But how many women are in the business of making guys right? We know that most guys are already taken, hardly by zombie invasions but commitments like mpango wa kandos, marriage and bromance if not the gay world. Question left to ask; of the residue of single men out here is there still a right one? As the only princess of your throne, you’ve got a good queue of frogs to kiss but it can get irksome. So just how do you pick a guy?

Simply wanting the right guy is like a hungry person going into a self-service food joint and expecting to be served by a waiter. There is a minimal possibility that you might get served. It’s however common sense that you should serve yourself even though at times such joints miss signs with instructions. That’s the analogy for grasping on a new relationship with a guy (who might still not be right). Taking the risk is like carrying your own tray of food at the restaurant. If you are hungry, take it. If you drop it, your fault. If you reach your table and have a satisfactory meal, your win.

I figure mid-twenties are almost identical to the vagabond loveless years of early twenties. However they are also times when you can’t keep walking around town hungry looking for a five-course meal while you can grab yourself a quick hotdog that will make you BOP (burp out loud–just invented that acronym) and smile at the dog’s unexpected satisfaction–we are still drifting on the analogy and some additional pun here.

I tasked four of my friends, all male–to provide black roses with pointers on how to make a guy right. All names have been changed to my four male fantasies, cool ey? Before we get into steps to making a guy right; what defines the so-called right guy? Most guys cited that there isn’t really ‘a right guy’ other than the imperfect one who you find to share with even the slightest of compatibility. So here goes (could apply to making her right too):

1. A little acceptance goes a long way

Legit rock stars never convert into country music or anything resembling such opposites. By the same virtue–football, toys and cars will occasionally take precedence over you. If you can comprehend that what a man loves is what he loves, then you wouldn’t keep fighting with Thierry Henry for attention. Same way your man would never complain that you spend too much time gossiping with your girls. Both men and women need some kind of therapy.

“Accepting someone’s inherent flaws and still living with them is love”, said Blair Underwood.

2. Seduction & competence

There must have been a reason why Powerpuff-girls-city of Townsville elected their Mayor for the position. That’s despite the fact that he hardly ever does anything. Well other than calling on his gorgeous and proficient assistant, Miss Bellum. Even without a head (Yes), she is sexy and always gets ahead in practically doing everything for the Mayor. Your man is the mayor. Be the alluring Bellum and don’t forget competency while you are at it. You will love the results.

“A woman has the biggest role in making a man. Women have so much power, if only they knew,” said Terrence Howard.

3. Trust & Play then Pray.

Trust & Play does sound like a condom ad right? On that note good sex will make him stick right on you if not by you. And what is good sex?—blog post for another day. Let’s just say that confidence, humour and the mind should be the underlying factors. A man needs affirmation via your trust. Stop snooping his twitter and text messages, get a life or take a hike. Even better give him space. If you do, even when you are away, on the hike–he will behave When he does wrong scold him like a high pedigree dog, not a mongrel. If he does right, reward him. At the end of it all—pray. God does listen + most men would use a spiritual woman.

“We are not stupid, so don’t tell us this is a gift—just do stuff, we will figure out everything else ourselves,” said Michael Ealy.

4. Respect

It should be treated like a game of boomerang. A man who respects his mother and sisters will probably respect you too and need your respect right back. Money and other worldly possessions will never buy respect so the pilgrimage to the ‘right man’ status starts from the moment you make him understand that he must earn it. In addition respect goes far beyond how to treat a person or a subject matter. It’s how you regard their property, what they treasure, friends, favourite things etc.

“A man who respects you will appreciate your lifestyle, that’s what a woman needs”, posed Biko Adema.

*Parting shot*

Valentine’s Day-event organizers will pop up on a yearly basis running around town helter-skelter trying to make you pity your single self. Even much longer will the damning ‘Why are you still single?’ question persist. If you wish to resist you now have some tips. If you will have found a guy (or a lady) for yourself, celebrate love all year round and let’s hope that they will ‘treat you right’—my new found definition of the right partner

Special thanks to my friends & voices behind Adema, Terrence, Blair & Michael.

Winyo croons of ‘Benga Blues’

Best things in life are free. 98% of that statement is true, see in 2009 I had never heard of Rateng’ band. So a ‘free of charge’ sign on their concert cum album launch poster was what bought me in. At the end of the night I got myself the band’s debut album, ‘Thumology’. Little did i know that simply tucking it into my bag was the start of what would become my insatiable love for their music and certainly a voracious one for the band’s then composer and lead vocalist’s music–Winyo.

Over two years later and he still sounds crispy-good. Now an accomplished singer/songwriter and guitarist, Winyo has had successful international tours and recognition as the only Kenyan & two-time finalist in the Radio France Internationale (RFI) Discoveries Music Awards.

‘Benga Blues’ is Winyo’s solo debut–an album oozing a rich display of his love for Benga. Singing in Luo, Swahili and Kikuyu, you will additionally hear loads of the bass guitar fused in acoustic sounds of Taarab, R&B and Jazz. I am lucky to have gotten a sneak copy of the album from Winyo last year. Trust me, it’s great, smooth and relaxing–my mum loves it! I haven’t seen us jointly enjoy an album like this–well since Sauti Sol, Whitney, Billy Ocean and Skeeter Davis. To all those who don’t comprehend much of Luo, chill out. If you can jam to the likes of Diogal and Lokua Kanza, trust me Winyo is right for you.

1. Odongo 3.24

Upbeat and beautiful acoustic opening to the album. This is a confessional song to a beloved called Odongo. Winyo takes the persona of a woman in love with this man to an obsessive extent of always singing songs of him. Even while brewing tea and fetching water by the river.

2. Nakupenda 6.32

Definitely a favourite. The bare mix of shakers, acoustic drums and piano in verse one creates for an alluring intro. This is again a song to a darling saying, “Look inside you, when you realize that I love you–you will love me back.” Some serious mind-fucking-love right there.

3. Gari Teri 7.00 ( The car will take you)

This is real Benga, also a killer cover to Rateng’ Band’s original. All the guitars seem to be outdoing themselves in this one. Love Winyo’s incessant chants, ‘Romna romna baby’ in Luo means ‘receive me baby.’ This is a wise song dedicated to all ladies, single or hitched. It cautions that one day you will get into a car and leave your home to another one–marriage. Never forget that a home must be built under the foundation of respect and humility, even in the face of shortcomings. The song’s two climaxes render it very danceable at a live gig. Saliva would go all ape on this one–hell i would dance and shout to this on top of a roof top!

5. Nya Chula 7.07

There is a place called Chula so Nya Chula is a lady who hails from this region. This is a song about Nya Chula, a village woman who could not quench her heart’s thirst for money and dreams of moving to Nairobi. Winyo takes the persona of her husband, he sings cajoling her to relax and sit still right next to him. For if she does their home could make babies. Is Winyo a story-teller or what? Really love the part where he sings, “Ngima mi dwaro ohinga” (I can’t sustain the kind of life you want to live). This song is a caution that if and when two people decide to settle down together, their lifestyle demands should merge into one. The song’s climax has a Lingala beat. I can already picture Wanjeri, Marcus and I seriously getting down to this one on the dance floor!

6. Kimani 4.36

If my Kikuyu didn’t fail me, this is a song about a gentleman called Kimani. It’s a cheer-up song urging Kim to keep his head up despite life’s ups and downs, for there will be a better day. Shall I also award this as the first afro-acoustic fantastic Kikuyu song? Not taking any no’s.

8. Yaona Yoo 6.14 (Open way for me)

This is a very beautiful song–my best in the album actually. Not too sure if it’s the shakers fused in the acoustic guitar and soft drums or Winyo’s butterscotch-voice … Everything in this one just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. The song is a dedication to the one who got away saying, ‘I can tell you a secret, everything you do even in laze still pleases me so I sing through your way, stupidly hoping that you will let me through’. Deep stuff and a special song to the ones we never got over.

10. Gikalo 5.27 (They will pass)

My mum particularly loves this one, I think because she has witnessed all these kind of dramas in shagz. This song has stories of a typical village. Brothers fighting over land, women undressing in protest in the open—a taboo, mean gossiping and talk. In the song Winyo takes the persona of the society’s mirror that marvels at how friendships can turn into rivalry. Most of us can attest to this and the un-related fact that Winyo is a rock sitting gracefully on the Kenyan contemporary Benga scene.

With 13 tracks ‘Benga Blues’ is an outstanding album worth your money, time and life’s lessons kitty. It teaches on virtues like humility, kindness, patience and temperance.

The album was released in Europe last year. A Kenyan release is expected sometime this year. I will certainly be there tagging alongside mother. For more info visit www.ketebulmusic.org

BONUS: Read on Ten Mins With Winyo, a feature I filed for ARISE Magazine. And a throwback track–Ukoo Flani MM feat. Winyo 

Get ‘Back To Love,’ sings Anthony Hamilton.

With a voice unshakable and unmistakable, Anthony Hamilton’s singing can make even the blind see. At least his soul. He’s the deeper John Legend. They both share what I love to call the ‘church voice’–a matchless ability of fusing soul and spirituality in their music in a way appealing to both the gospel and secular music industry.

R&B has been drowning and seeking help since the start of the new millennium. Starting 2003 Anthony has been playing his part in the rescue mission. ‘Back To Love’ is his fifth album released in December 2011. I already fell for it head over heels, thanks M and now more than ever am convinced that the last sign of the apocalypse will be the halt of Anthony Hamilton’s animate lyricism and soul.

‘Back To Love’ is a show of his steady commitment to soul music. To consistently come out in honesty as he does and still be accepted and applauded in a decade hungry for trashy Riri and Maybach music-ego rappers is what I adore most about Anthony. A family man married with kids Vs Grammy award winning singer with a clean-cut image–his double stance is suave.

‘Who’s loving you’, is a man’s in-depth chat with the planets in pursuit of finding out why the love of his life is with someone else. Other songs in the album include praise to women, an account of self realization and prayer to God–most of which are packaged in an upbeat tempo. The dozen songs are a great party-or-kick-off-your-shoes-and-relax-your-feet compilation. Babyface co-writes and produces three of which deliver part of the album’s contemporary soul reminiscent of the 90’s musical thunder.

1. Back to love 3.20

R&B and neo soul at its best, this is a beautiful title track entrée. Most of us have experienced stormy relationships. In this song Anthony sings about one that needs God’s intervention for restoration. “How will we get us back to love? I want us to fall in love again,” he sings. Really love that Maxwell jazzy-quiet storm feel in this one. If you still have left the tiniest of hope in falling in love, again–this one is for you.

2. Writing on the wall 3.26

Contemporary R&B bordering on a hip hop beat spiced up with some horns, this one will make you bop your head and do a little jig. A continuation to the first song’s story, it’s a man’s assertion in rising above his fear of not loving. His relationship’s wall is jumbled mostly by people talking so he sings, “I don’t wanna listen, as I am grown and it’s my life.” If you ever had haters who couldn’t stand seeing you happy with someone, this is for you. Fuck what they say, only thing you should hear is your heart.

3. Woo 3.16

Oh this is a hard stepping killer, replay everyday baby! Every ensemble in it makes me believe that the babe Anthony is singing about was sure fly as hell. “I aint’ never seen a girl so bad, it feels so good,” he sings–witty pickup line if you ask me fellas Here I applaud Babyface for honoring the 90’s music feel. With a slightly slower tempo Woo’s spirit is inversely proportional to Earth, Wind & Fire’s ‘I love music.’

4. Pray for me 4.39

Another Babyface classic. I like the story. A man distraught after breaking up with his lady sings a prayer to God asking him to simply bring her back. I hated hearing Babyface in the BGV’s because his identifiable voice suddenly makes it sound like he was featuring in the track. When solely producing records Babyface and JD need to shut their mouths. Great song altogether, there are situations when nothing else is left to say other than a prayer. Really love where Hamilton sings, “If you take me back I will be so good even Oprah would be jealous!”

Other songs include the SEXY Jill Scott-ish-groovy-sounds of ‘Best of me’, a serenade to a beloved marveling at the power of sharing life’s litu pleasures. ‘Never let go’ feat Keri Hilson is a fantastic duo yet a waste of the album’s only chance of a collabo. Keri’s crispy flat voice doesn’t complement Anthony’s. If I had to pick candidates for this spot it would be Melanie Fiona or Beyonce. It’s somewhat awkward that the album’s certified baby making jam ‘I’ll wait for you to fall in love’ has an abstinence theme. Que-ce qui’il ya ici?

12. Life has a way 4.13

This song is a distant relative to ‘Salt’ by Lizz Wright. Smooth jazz marking a beautiful finale and my best song in the album. I appreciated it’s message and soul. Antony takes the persona of a man who just found his life’s meaning. He sings that after thinking he knew it all he still found out that there is more room to grow as, “life humbles you down”. The message in this one is universal and simply an emphasis on always remaining humble, no matter what. I am down for Antony’s work of genius. This album will either help you get back to love or uphold the live-and-love-life policy. Enjoy!

BONUS: Anthony reveals the inspiration behind my favourite song, turns out he has a special spot for it too

Skin Deep

Boy you are a sight, I can’t even lie. Aside from it all, you are sacred. Even in the face of hurt, your heart knows no hatred or anger but adoration and love. Sometimes you are like a river, silent and deep, flowing full of emotion and I am glad, that I have you to keep. While in dire need, I found you. While entirely engrossed in it, like a gift you wrapped me up around you. Like a lift is your love to me, enriching, enticing, elating and surrounding. Around you is simplicity, I don’t strive to impress you. That’s because I am already your empress.

Boy you are some sport, I can’t even keep up. Like a mountain, you are steep and not easy to get across. When I did, I felt a form of achievement because you rewarded me with a rose laden with chivalry and appreciation. You’re like the fountain in my garden that keeps flowing, allowing me to bathe in the waters of serenity. We are hardened by your faithfulness to me and the Almighty, so God bless you babe. We are saddened by fights and incompatibility but we crawl, soon we shall walk, then we could run but not too fast to fall for in the long run, this is not windfall or a fallback, it’s our plan.

Boy you are handsome, I can’t even describe but I will try. Your eyes are the keepers to my secrets. I inscribe prosetry for you because you are the type that appreciates. Your chest is the pillow to my bosom. Your bottom is my up, and my double is your single win. Your kiss is sweeter than honey, your money has nothing on your hugs, you love is deeper than lust, so it lasts all day and night. In many ways, your touch is electrifying, satisfying and gratifying. Between the sheets and streets, you got class. Like a stone cast in the sea, you fall directly into my spot and if I had it all, without you skin deep, it would mean nothing.

Why a black man is like chocolate.

Tall, dark and handsome or short, stout and perky, but still dark–whichever form of African they come in, men are like chocolate. Seemingly hard but malleable, sometimes messy, sticky, sweet and rich or not. In many ways both dark chocolate and black men are quite similar.

Heat melts chocolate. Similarly, any man will practically melt if and when heated up the right way by a lady (preferably a hot one). Various research findings including one done by BBC have cited a sizeable reduction of stress levels following the activity of melting chocolate in the mouth. It’s said that that even beats kissing at reducing stress levels! Good thing, those who don’t fancy chocolate like me can still indulge and benefit from frogs-to-princes induced activities.

A look at plain chocolate or a plain man can either evoke love or dislike (hate is a strong word for skin-choc lovers). Like mud is a naked bar–basic and unattractive. But off the paper and into biting, chances of stumbling upon all types of life’s goodness from wine, nuts, fruits, to any thinkable sweet thing that might fit in, are very high. A man’s nudity, heart, strength or all might turn him into a striking god, a transformation from a dressed-down dull, null and void creature. In summary, to discover what a man/chocolate is made of, you simply have to trust, taste, nibble, and then delve in.

That’s reason why ‘the world’ has blindly ostracized the dark skin of African countries like Sudan as charcoal-ish while brandished that of successful Africans who have become world stars like Mr. Kimora, formerly Djimon Hounsou as a show of light in Hollywood, Nollywood and even classics like ‘Boyz in Da Hood’. Remember the time when youthful/ non-shirtless Cuba Gooding Jr. and Morris Chestnut were synonymous to unopened attractive chocolate covers? Sigh.

I don’t like the non-human version of chocolate so I don’t have the moral/ gastronomical authority of writing on chocolate addiction. However, I have heard of theories and testimonials on how black men can be as addictive as chocolate. White princess Coco reaffirmed the famous quote while speaking on her black ghetto prince Ice-T, “Once you go black, you never go back.”

Most African eyes are veiled and can’t see past the black-fuss. Why should they? Everything in Africa is practically dark anyway, from the streets, people’s deeds, soil and of course the men and women. Black skin however still remains a phenomenon abroad and especially in Europe. Thanks to that, we still have racism and looming sickness in the 21^st century. The latter prompting white women mostly tourists to flood Africa in search of curing the dreaded and deadly ‘jungle fever’ disease, as theorized by my sidekick Chim.

‘Jungle fever’ is a curable ailment that only affects white-skinned women, most times leaving them restless, horny and in need of dark African men (the ones in torn-tattered washed out pants, never-washed Converse and unkempt dreads are usually tastier like extra toppings on the pizza). Black injection in little or large doses is highly recommended, and in all forms.

And true to that prescription–the cured lot usually comprise white women married to black men, or who are with black men parading at African music festivals, weed smoking parties, African traditional ceremonies, crowded markets and slum areas or simply between sheets or somewhere in the streets. This is art, culture and a lifestyle that will never be unraveled, just like the world’s obsession with chocolate.

Chocolate isn’t my thing but when given to me, for pleasure or as a gift; I have no choice but to devour it, a process that takes me days, even weeks to complete. I am glad it takes me just a split second to come up with this thought process. Over a simple conversation while snacking, a friend said to me, ‘Come to think of it, men are like chocolate’. The sound of that statement was sweet enough to make me blog. Did I expound on the topic? I don’t know. But I am certain that it doesn’t matter whether it, she or he is black or white. Just go ahead and enjoy it, and yourself!

Proper nice.

Girl that’s what you are, tight. Your thighs tell it all. It’s how you move not swiftly but gracefully. See it’s how you smile, not just sweetly but angelically. See, I believe in you and everything you do. It’s how you live freely, how you love deeply, how you laugh silly, how you grab me lately, I adore you. I want to open doors for you, anything you love I will do. On the floor you will be my lady. And when the music stops, you will still be mine.

Girl, you are a keeper. I am a leaper and a believer of your love. You are special. And If I have you, I don’t have to think of anything at all but bliss. Your kiss is lethal, making our bond stronger than metal. Missing you makes me go mental, I can’t get rid of you. You lead the way and I follow. Though you sometimes sway, you are always true. It’s what I dig about you. In the desert you will be my sand. And when the storm washes it all away, you will still be mine.

You are a sexy girl. Lately I can’t stop staring at your confidence. Evidence is in how you carry yourself, you never need to defend yourself. Even when you are wrong, you seem right. You make me enjoy light moments when you play with my heart. It’s a joy to see you lay beside me every day. You are the best thing about today. That’s because you shine brighter than the sun, you rock harder than the stone, and when the world ends, you will be my investment. For when they will think I am wasted and nothing, I will still have you proper nice.