Even despite Facebook’s simple tagline, ‘A SOCIAL NETWORK’ some of its users just wont do it for the network but for their own madness capabilities, it drives me insane and that’s why I found these worst 10 of it! Read through!

1.  Love updates
Love updates are so sickening! It’s enough that we can see you’re in a relationship so please bitch don’t push it! Oh I love you so much, ooh he brought me flowers, its good to make the single ones wanna commit suicide at least once in a while, i mean its part of its social function but we gotta check limits. The reason I am anti- love updates is because 6 months later… the lovers start venting on f.b! ‘I can’t believe he dumped me, you think you are the only one  I will ever love, i hate you!’  etc. On Facebook,  even worse than out of it, there’s a thin line between love and hate, so go easy on it.

2. New Facebook
Y’all even started a f.b group, ‘We want the old f.b back!’ Y’all snitched on the new f.b till you got tired. Ok  f.b, we understood that it’s a social network already, so why the hell do I have to see what my mutual friends  are writing on each other’s walls as status updates!? It’s so damn annoying! We already knew it was a small world so f.b just decided to force the f.b world even smaller…

That new shit totally SUCKS, it has really undermined privacy, in fact they should disable their privacy app, snooping  is now compulsory, inevitable, isn’t this networking forcing social alliances? Facebook is not twitter and never will be as much as its swag  jacking ! The update f.b app allows loooong ass updates, that sucks! Short and simple, like twitter always works.

2. Remove friend app
Thank god in life, outside f.b its not just that easy to remove someone from your life by just a click! I mean that app is so mean but i would call it a necessary evil. The thing is sometimes you wanna check up on a friend and then f.b tells you send friend request. It has happened to me! It pricks! Tricky app as most times you can remove people or a person in an irrational state of mind and its irreversible! You can send them a friend request again 🙂 Chances are they will ignore you 😦

If it aint those random friends ama sickos and psychos don’t just remove a friend. Miss black roses would personally be hurt if you did that to her, though she’s indulged in that evil application a couple of times 🙂

3. Inboxes
We would never exhaust the pros and cons of this app! Dudes tryna ingiza her box via f.b inbox, is sooo 2,000 and late, just style up and man up! That’s lame, what if she doesn’t log in or she deactivates her  f.b? Stall huh? yeah, i thought so 🙂

Anyway i prefer a dude who openly wants to ingiza me box via inbox, now some sickos and psychos will just inbox you weird stuff, like ‘good am catholic too, nice boobs, I want you, are you in a relationship with a girl for the attention or what, where do you live’… etc. All those questions should be taken to the police station. Group inboxes!! F.b groups  admins please come slowly! 4 inboxes from the same group between mon and fri is just too much!!

4. Poking
Why the fuck does this friggin’ app exist!? When someone pokes you, you don’t whether it is a sign that they have missed you, or that they want you, are they saying hi jus checking in. F.b has a wall, inbox, comment/like app, why do you just have to poke?

5. Snobs
You claim that you have a f.b profile yet all you do is snob your friends!  They write on your wall, comment on your status but you always snob! WTF!? If you put up a status update that sparked controversy, why wont you cool it down?  And if you didn’t wanna chat with someone, all you had to do was put them in the ka- small chat window and show them that your offline, don’t make someone chat by themself the whole day!!

Ok sometimes you just don’t feel like f.bukin its ok, sometimes you just have a super busy day its ok, sometimes you at work its ok.. just remember to at least return the msgs. even if it’s a week later trust f.b notifications app to alert them 🙂 Am telling you it pays to know that you aint in that shitty network alone 🙂

6. Group invites/ Relationship status

They make me nauseous! Every other morning like 15 of your friends are in relationships, by afternoon half of them are single, then by night fall the other half are married, tomorrow morning they are all in complicated relationships!! It sucks when you were in a serious relationship and it ended then you gotta change to single, people then start calling you, writing  on your wall ati kwani you guys broke up etc.. so much for your personal life!

There are groups called, ‘how big is your penis?’, another one, ‘lets measure your penis’, there are groups for anything and everything under the sun! The create group app has definitely been misused!

8. Name changing
We get the point, that you can edit your account settings woo hoo!!! great. You finally found a place where you can change your name everyday and use it without need for an affidavit of support to show that you are the ALIAS.. Dude! Some of us have thousands of friends on f.b, how the hell are we suppose to keep up with the changes. I go nuts every time I see an update, then am like: now who is this?? By the time I figure out ooh ok its Kevin, he goes again to change his name to K- force!! #CONFUSION

However, some of those names changes rock STONES! Tom Mfyamest, Trackit Migingo, Okoth M-pesa, Trish Babie, Flow Kadenge,  I  like those who change their names to interesting things like that! We gotta spice this bitch up!

9. Misuse of the expression LOL & NKT
It’s nice to use lol and nkt where applicable but then some peeps got this fake memos from fake f.b and were told they gotta use those two in every other comment and update!! You see an update… Is so tired of reading LOL! What’s there to lol about? OR: Had a good day chilling with Susan, nkt! #CONFUSION

Trust LOL for having revolutionized even Australopithecus hawezimake!! LOL to LMAOL to ROTFLMBAO to ROR to KHOL these words have been super used and abused!

10. Comment Busters.
If someone has updated a sad thing like my mum is so sick in hospital, what is there to like about that? Maybe we should propose for a dislike app, i mean not commenting at all isn’t the same with not liking nway some people will just comment haphazardly even when you write in french and they don not understand!! Sometimes updates are rhetorical, then the busters are there so busy commenting! Un necessary comments spoil the gist of updates but then again, busters wouldn’t know anything about gist would they?

BONUS!

This dude sent me a friend request and i just accepted, little did I know that he was one of those psycho dudes! Since the day i clicked on the accept button, the dude was commenting on all my updates, ALL! When I decided to check his profile a couple of days later, his small box on the far left that says, ‘write something little about yourself’,  it had: ‘Loves Anyiko & will marry her!’  The dude had only 30 friends! I mean even Sheldon BIG BANG THEORY has 200 friends on  Facebook. That was my record, fastest time someone was ever removed and blocked from my profile!

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