It happened in 2007 but I remember it like it was yesterday. Plus I always wanted to put it into writing.
Soooo…. my good good friend Smiles was scheduled to leave the country for Germany in a few days. She was not going to leave temporarily but permanently. Ouch! Reason being, she had found love, across the seas and the oceans. Nway she finally was going to leave behind the LDR (Long distance relationship) thing and settle down with her man living in Germany. It was really itching me that I was going to have to let her go. I had become attached because at that time she was living with me and my sis at our house, I kinda had chips fungad her permanently
I wasnt sure about this man she was going to live with, would he change his status later on, would he treat her like the queen she is, i just had so many questions in my mind! Well, before her decision to relocate she had been working at the Mara Sarova and her resignation came as a surprise even to the management. As her name suggests, Smiles has always been a person full of life and smiles, letting her go was like letting go of a beautiful summer day, soooooo.. as a token of appreciation she got a holiday for two at the Mara before her departure and guess who were in the next bus ride there? Me and Smiles wohoooo!
It was completely unplanned, first and foremost, we were soo broke so we had to jav all the way! The shuttle we took from Nairobi, Nyamakima was alright, I must say. Though I saw some funny looking people down there, well… I thought they were funny looking until we got to where we were going…. wait on….We had been instructed by the manager of Sarova to be at Narok at 2.00 p.m, SHARP! This is because there was only one bus that would transport us to Sekenani, the town right before the National park a.k.a where the hotel was! If we missed that bus we would therefore have to cab, and we didn’t have enough money for that! So yeah, it was a matter of life and death!
Of course we were running late already, as woke up late back in Nairobi. Why does your alarm always mess you when you need it the most? We got to Narok at 2.10 p.m.! Hungry and thirsty as hell but first things first, we panted towards the stage to see if we could still catch the bus seeing we were already 10 minutes into the late running! Sooooo…. just as we got to the stage, we saw the bus, sorry, “mini bus, i then reckoned” pull over from the stage, it had a sign, “SEKENANI/ Tanzania” We just hopped in, eastlands style, phew! We could now sit and sigh though we were still starving mad! We couldn’t sit together, as the only seats remaining were singles.
I sat next to an old Maasai man, he was sitting next to the window. Smiles sat right behind us, next to another old man who had been singing since the time we got into the matatu! “This should be interesting, ” I thought to myself. Now, Narok to Sekenani drive should be slightly more or less than a 5 hours drive but as the journey commenced, it somehow felt like we were going back into time. The road got worse, the stench in the matatu got heavier, the heat was more like hell redefined, and the damn old men couldn’t stop singing out loud! Wow, so helpful just when I wanted to nap, soooo the old man sitting next to me was drinking some lethal smelling alcoholic drink/ chang’aa style and chewing khat/ miraa. Oh gosh it was so disgusting!
He had a sequence, chew, drink then spit outside the window and after a while he just reminded me of my dreadful highschool days of Physics! That thing, was it called ripple effect or doppler effect? Which one is which? That when something is moving at a certain speed, the other thing adjacent to it, will move at a separate speed, probably slower? What was that now? Nway as he was spitting out the window, the moving car’s speed/ wind took over the effect and the spit didn’t go outside the window but into my friend Smile’s eyes! Remember? She was sitting right behind us! It was one of the most disgusting moments i had ever experienced, in my entire life! Her eyes were full of that green stuff, and what made it funnier? She started crying hahahahaha! That’s me laughing at her, little did I know my time was coming up ahead.
Finalement, we got there tired as junk, disgusted like I don’t even got a simile! The Sarova land rover or is it cruiser picked us up from Sekenani, first pittstop when we got there was shower, shower and shower! It felt like we were somewhere among the others in the LOST island, I loved the civilization :-) Later on eat and relax was the itinerary. No need to explain how the four nights we had there was, you know what girls do, bitch, gossip, eat, hug and drink and eat was the order per say!
Now on the last day, we did something stupid, or not, depending on how you look at it. We got so drunk!!!! We downed three boties of brandy. On the next day in the afternoon, Smiles was going to the embassy to pick her visa or something like that so we had to make that travel back through hook or crook! It was hardly two hours from the time we hit our bed in the wee hours of the morning when we had to wake up, that same deathly mini bus called ‘DUB DUB’ from TZ was the same one we had to catch at 4.00 a.m.
So this time round, everything went well, we were up on/ in time and we caught the bus! The baridi was so frighteningly desert like, what!? I was still so freaking high, now that was a confused feeling i had right there! When we got to the bus, it was full to capacity and then what? My friend Smiles said we had to get in, as I was already backing up from it. I didn’t want to get in, i even suggested for us to go back, but in vain! So we had to stand through the whole journey, all that stuffiness that early morning! Apparently the next bus passing through Sekenani would be at 5:00 p.m., at that time we should have reached Nairobi!! #BUMMER
Soooo, after an hour, I started getting some heat rush and feeling kinda nauseous, so I told Smiles, ‘I don’t think am feeling too good.’ The last thing I remember was sweat dripping down my forehead/ spine. The next thing I saw when I opened my eyes, was ZEBRAS! The sun was starting to rise up, it was a beautiful day, the grass was green and looking all dewy fresh, zebras were grazing right there in front of me and that’s when it hit me, “I must have died, wow! Thats how good heaven looked like!?, then I was like, God why did you have to take me so soon?” Suddenly, I heard someone shout, “AMEAMKA!”
Apparently, I had fainted in the bus, silly me to actually think that I had died and went to heaven. But that story was so funny, we laugh at it to date with my girl Smiles. We got to Narok/ Nairobi safe, she got her visa alright, she left me for her man, i cried alright, since then she visits often, we talk all the time/ Facebook of course, she is now happily married and living with her husband in Germany.
BONUS: Last year she came back home to have a Kenyan wedding here. Well she had already, had one before, the ngurario. Is that what they call it in Kikuyu? Then in Germany she did one too, so in total she has wedded this guy or vice versa thrice I was her maid of honour and the only one in her bridal party. I am honoured to date That was a pixx we took at the weeding, that’s me and her, her hubby and his best friend as his best man.