Been okay since we broke up, well, I  don’t smoke any more, still looking good, Mary Kay products or not. As a byproduct of thoughts of you, wrote you this blog post. I remember when I used to have the hots for you. It was September when we met, right after my birthday. We were silly, getting wet in the rain, that day getting left by the train, letting our love reign was our motto for a very long time. Every day was like we won a lotto, in every way our relationship was like a casino, wish we made litu  bambinos’ when we had the chance to.

You must be wondering why I am saying all this to you now, I feel like I have been wandering on the same shores for a long time. I watched so many shows to try salvage what was left of us but all that was a lie. Like garbage I tried to trash you, push you on the left. I did everything in a rush, even hid all the pictures we had taken, I even did move on quickly despite the lecturers from friends. His name is Quincy, a very good man. I began seeing him a month after we separated. I was frustrated and he came to my rescue. Like a painting without hue, my life was tasteless then.

It is very sad that I would write you this three years after I left you, I think it’s bad enough that I might be too late to reach you. See I have no business calling your phone, this is beyond a conversation, I am aimless, don’t know where to start, well right now I am at the gas station. Ironic that I would fill my car’s tank while my heart’s equivalent is empty. I am ambivalent because I am with someone else but I still think of you. I sink in cupid’s case because I fell in love with you first. I feel stupid that I would be the last see this.

I want to be with Quincy but  I don’t want to be needy of something else. He helps me a lot but I don’t need that anymore, I miss being opened for the door, your scent that I used to adore, the bathroom floor sex, the bedroom mess, the stolen kitchen counter kisses, the golden moments, can we patch all the broken promises? Like a bounty hunter, am searching for you, I realize that I have been for a while. I am breaking up with Quincy and letting you know that it’s you I need. It’s indeed been long overdue. What will you do? Shatter my fragile heart? I know that I am like clutter to you but hey can you go back to THAT TIME when we were in love?

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