People wonder why a nice kawaida girl would be single. It’s simply because of some of the men who are out there busy spoiling the broth for the good ones. Think about it, these men are as cute as puppies. They are adorable at the first instance but after several days and dates they start pooping everywhere and making a nuisance of themselves. This makes you wonder if you should still keep them and if the puppy will eventually grow into a dog- the good kind :-)
1. Mr. I can’t be your friend if I can’t date you.
This man wants to be in a relationship with you, you like him, even appreciate him and his honesty but unfortunately he just doesn’t cut it for you. However, you still want him to be in your life as he would make a good friend. He must be the guy who came up with the notion that men and women can’t be friends as he is settling for all or nothing.
- This isn’t right, just because you can’t be with someone doesn’t mean they aren’t good for you. Not dating them isn’t a pass to push them out of your life as both of you lose out on a lot. Every individual has unique qualities that you will never get to experience if you aren’t in each other’s lives.
2. Mr. I don’t want to date you & I don’t want to be your friend, I just want the benefits.
You like this man for so many reasons. However, he wants nothing but to drop his hands in the cookie jar. As his mischievous game progresses, so does your confusion in trying to decipher his mixed signals. The fact is he will never change as you both want different things, you see the babies, he sees the ladies! He always has a woman on his arm and he genuinely likes them all for different reasons. He might not even know it but he is the serial-dater!
- Either you settle for his stray ways or ship out as this man only wants one thing … If you stay in this too long, you will end up feeling used and because of his “kigeugeu” ways, sadly your relationship will never take off.
3. Mr. I know I can’t date you but I will take anything from you.
This is the nice guy. He treats you like a queen, he is a gentleman, you always have a great time together. There is just one small thing (and not his “nene”); no fizzle! He knows that you don’t feel the same as he does for you but your presence as his friend is his constant sign and hope that one day you will be his woman. He works around your schedule, if you want to talk, he will give you an ear. If you need to cry, he will give you a shoulder, if you want to go out, he will be your date even chaperone, but for you, that’s it! Deep down you believe that one day when you don’t want to die alone, all factors remaining constant he will still be there for you.
- This is a situation that most girls are in and they tend to exploit the dude or vice versa. Partly because they are probably with Mr. I don’t want to date you & I don’t want to be your friend, I just want the benefits. And we all know how that goes. Other times, the ladies just can’t see that the guy REALLY likes them, it’s hard to see through them because these guys will feign anything, even friendship just so they never disclose their feelings in fear of losing you. This guy would rather have you as a friend than ever having to pressure you into a relationship.
- But word of caution , take time to assess your feelings lest one day you will wake up and find that this person is gone. Remember one man’s trash is another’s treasure.
4. Mr. I know I am the shit but I won’t commit
This guy is strange. He has everything seemingly going on for him, handsome, good job, sociable, charming and he’s got game (and we are not talking about Basketball :-) He is not kidding when he says that he has feelings for you, only they are not going anywhere past him proclaiming so. You want to start something serious as you have seen a good thing but unbeknownst to you, he is the eternal bachelor!
- You can tell that there is a step missing in your relationship’s advancement. The more you push the agenda, the more he pulls away. Once you realize that this guy likes you but not enough to change his principles, the bitterness starts to settle in because you had invested emotionally. This is the moment to walk away with your dignity intact.
- This is the only scenario where the stupid breakup line “It’s not you, it’s me” actually applies. Believe it, it wasn’t you, it was him and it’s his loss. Keep your head up as it wasn’t all in vain, he was a good man who just couldn’t settle down now find another one who will.
Do you remember the puppy analogy? Ask any dog-person, breeding them to maturity is always a task. Similarly, relationships are difficult and complex. They take time, patience and sometimes they just don’t work out! Be keen as these types of guys will definitely come your way, at the end of the day make a decision that is right for you. So which one of the above are you? Whichever the case, treat your partner right!
Post co- written by Wanjeri