“Let’s be friends with benefits.”—it’s highly probable that you’ve been asked that before, at least once if not severally. Let’s flip the other side of the coin that indicates it’s also as likely that you’ve already shoved around [the proposal] yourself. If you don’t resonate with either case then you must be in a relationship that benefits all the same. Code word—benefits.
Friends with benefits (FWB) is a typical two-people-pretext allowing them to act like mere platonic friends to the world while in the real sense, frolic in between sheets in the name of ‘no strings attached’ [another post for another day]. The rules of the game are simple: If the sex is good, it’s cool. If it’s bad, it’s probably over. And if in either scenario anyone catches feelings, they are weak players and therefore risk being dropped or dropping out of the league … Silently and honorably. It’s however marveling how the cliché FWB thing has become in making trendy the use of sex as bait or cover up for anything and everything, unconscious to friendship, the very foundation of relationships.
Akin to business, friendship is inherently a give and take affair or if you like, an exchange between two with an objective that both parties should yield considerable returns or at least an equivalent of their investment. And just like the uncertainty of business that once in a while, things might go extremely well or terribly haywire so is the malleability of all sorts of relationships. Things will go fine or dreadful with your partner, wife, lover or FWB. For example, you might find yourself falling for your FWB or vice versa. You might also fall out with a friend, break up with your partner, make up or happily remain intact if not sadly history with your better half. In the universe of relationships, all this is normal. What’s not is when we keep forgiving partners who always end up getting caught up in the same tangled web of unfortunate events that affect us; this is continually rewarding bad business. And essentially a business not working out must be re-structured or closed down. You can only operate in loses for too long.
My point— if you get yourself into a strictly physical FWB contract; while on the streets, don’t expect more from your partner, your territory doesn’t surpass the sheets. In bed however you can stretch your muscles and ensure that standards are kept at par with the initial bar set while entering into agreement. Any friendship or relationship that defies its initial accord in one or more ways than desired or desires more than the union stipulated is again, bad business. And sometimes in these scenarios, we subconsciously subject ourselves to the poison that’s kiss-and-make-up.
Think about it critically, if truly like business, the premise of friendship is based on the prospective profit for both parties then that means, apart from the FWB case coming out strongly in labeling, it’s intent is just as loud; making it perfectly alright for other relationship to emulate it’s straight forwardness—all factors remaining constant, and despite [it] being the home to a whole load of disguise, among them: mere debauchery, experiments and experimenters, sissies and those hiding from responsibilities that come with the exclusivity of relationships.
Moral of this post—Like business, relationships aren’t solely based on looks or love but preference and the promise of abundance, quality and consistency, making it simple logic that all people (single or coupled) need love and company— in and out of bed. And if eventually, the people we acquaint ourselves with in whatever scope of business act shoddy; the pact should be terminated swiftly for an opportunity to explore new markets or different ventures. Pardon my French but no matter how hard or soft you like your world rocked, any relationship/friendship without benefits is bullshit.